heelsandholster

My client shared, "It takes me a day to feel normal and happy after he's home, and then he's back to work again," before working together. If you lose the first 24 hours after shift to tension or distance, generic 9-to-5 marriage advice isn't built for first responder life.

Kristen shares a funny date-night story from the Brain Injury Center gala (including her husband hyping their own cabin at the auction and thinking they accidentally won a bed), how one client stopped unloading at the door and woke up to a love note thanking her for being an amazing mom, and how a reintegration buffer plus trauma-informed communication help you enjoy every minute of his days off.

A Very Un-Black Friday Sale runs November 9 to 13, with limited spots for December On the Same Team, $100 off Resilient Ride Along, and $300 off the last Individual or Couples Coaching spot.

May you always see yourself as resilient and empowered.

Resources from this episode: https://msha.ke/heelsandholster

She felt called out when Kristen asked, "Do you track your partner's location when he doesn't know it?" Yes, she did. She was long distance from her police boyfriend, checking his dot on every shift, inventing stories with no evidence. A year of therapy hadn't fixed it.

Inside Resilient Ride Along, she built Independent Daily Routines and turned location tracking off. Now she says she's more present and her nervous system can finally relax. Kristen also shares why she and her husband don't use Find My together (and the one exception with her mom), plus what to do instead of chasing the false sense of control.

A Very Un-Black Friday Sale runs November 9 to 13, with limited spots.

May you always see yourself as resilient and empowered.

Resources from this episode: https://msha.ke/heelsandholster

Resentment toward the job (and your partner) often comes from looking at first responder and military life through a 9-to-5 lens. Kristen shares how pride in your unique role can shift that: learning more about his job so you have more empathy, adapting your routines around reintegration and texting, protecting the real time together you already have, and what to say when people ask, "Where's your husband?" Plus, a heads-up on the very Un-Black Friday sale coming in early November. May you always see yourself as resilient and empowered.

Resources from this episode: https://msha.ke/heelsandholster

Is it a story, or did it really happen? Kristen shares how a whole narrative about her husband heading to the gym early fell apart the moment she calmly asked him about it, and gives you three steps for when your mind starts filling in the blanks: coach yourself through the story, get curious with a gentle observation instead of an accusation, and then let his answer be enough. Plus, grab the free training Three Keys to Knowing He’s Got Your Back. May you always see yourself as resilient and empowered.

Resources from this episode: https://msha.ke/heelsandholster

Your brain defaults to what’s wrong, in jujitsu and in a first responder marriage. Kristen unpacks a raw reel about celebrating wins (not just the losses), how that same pattern fuels resentment about overtime and alone time, and what to do when you’re afraid to have a baby or another baby because you don’t want to feel like a single mom. Expand support beyond your husband, ask for help, and join the waitlist for Three Keys to Knowing He’s Got Your Back (October 1). May you always see yourself as resilient and empowered.Resources from this episode: https://msha.ke/heelsandholster

Asking “How can I support you?” can give you clear, specific ways to show up for your partner so he stops feeling like what he does isn’t good enough. Hear three answers a police wife’s husband gave her (separate work from who he is, ease up on the work questions, and approach miscommunication gently), plus Kristen’s simple texting rules for first responder relationships. Soft invite to the waitlist for her free training Three Keys to Knowing He’s Got Your Back (October 1). May you always see yourself as resilient and empowered.Resources from this episode: https://msha.ke/heelsandholster

Does you hear flutter when your husband works night shift with a female partner? If so, then this is the episode for you to have "internal freedom" and feel at peace even when he works with a female partner for 12+ hours.

Resources from this episode

Feel like you're compromising too much in your relationship? This episode will show you how to magnetize your police, fire or military husband without losing yourself.

Resources from this episode

In today's episode I share updates from our last trips over the summer and how using my Assertive Trauma Informed Communication method resulted in my husband renting a boat for our lake trip after just one easy conversation. I share new boundaries I've set as the default parent going into the new school year and advice I gave my Resilient Ride Along group coaching police wife client as the default parent as well.

Resources from this podcast