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Help Your Child Get a Grip on Teasing
[Week 22 of 52 Weeks to a Better Relationship With Your Child]
Why do people tease each other?
Teasing is not something unique to the world of children. In fact, my husband teases me a lot. When trying to understand teasing, we really need to look at each instance and each relationship. All teasing is not equal. Here are some reasons people tease each other:
Not all of these reasons are mutually exclusive. For instance, boredom might give rise to affectionate teasing. There is nothing wrong with that. But possibly it would help to have a better definition of what teasing is before we go further.
How would you define teasing?
It is interesting to note that the first definition of tease in the dictionary has to do with gently pulling something apart, often for untangling or revealing. It is a persistent, careful action with the hope of reaching a positive result, such as brushed hair or scientific discovery.
The meaning of tease when it comes to relationships can be either positive or negative. It can be meant to be harassment or it can be meant to be playful. The end result can depend as much on the person responding to the teasing as the person initiating it.
How do we decide which kind of teasing is going on?
In our house, we had the guideline for any teasing or jokes that “if the other person didn’t know what was going on, it was probably not appropriate.” The gist of it was that if the other person might end up believing something that wasn’t true, it wasn’t a good joke. If the object was to make the other person react a certain way solely for your own entertainment, it probably wasn’t good teasing. We also discouraged teasing someone for something they might legitimately feel insecure about.
Our reasons for this were two fold. First, we wanted people within the house to be able to trust each other. Secondly, we wanted everyone to learn to think of the other person.
Here are some examples of unacceptable teasing:
All of these kinds of teasing tend to be done with a mean or selfish spirit. However, it is also true that some things can become more acceptable as the children grow up and become more secure. In our family, it is now pretty reasonable to make comments about each other’s uncommonly large feet or quirky habits. It brings smiles when a hormonal girl is teased for crying or a young man is teased for being sweet to a young lady.
A key ingredient to healthy teasing
For teasing to be mutually understood, there has to be trust. The teasing should not undermine that. Thus, when o
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By Laura Blodgett[Week 22 of 52 Weeks to a Better Relationship With Your Child]
Why do people tease each other?
Teasing is not something unique to the world of children. In fact, my husband teases me a lot. When trying to understand teasing, we really need to look at each instance and each relationship. All teasing is not equal. Here are some reasons people tease each other:
Not all of these reasons are mutually exclusive. For instance, boredom might give rise to affectionate teasing. There is nothing wrong with that. But possibly it would help to have a better definition of what teasing is before we go further.
How would you define teasing?
It is interesting to note that the first definition of tease in the dictionary has to do with gently pulling something apart, often for untangling or revealing. It is a persistent, careful action with the hope of reaching a positive result, such as brushed hair or scientific discovery.
The meaning of tease when it comes to relationships can be either positive or negative. It can be meant to be harassment or it can be meant to be playful. The end result can depend as much on the person responding to the teasing as the person initiating it.
How do we decide which kind of teasing is going on?
In our house, we had the guideline for any teasing or jokes that “if the other person didn’t know what was going on, it was probably not appropriate.” The gist of it was that if the other person might end up believing something that wasn’t true, it wasn’t a good joke. If the object was to make the other person react a certain way solely for your own entertainment, it probably wasn’t good teasing. We also discouraged teasing someone for something they might legitimately feel insecure about.
Our reasons for this were two fold. First, we wanted people within the house to be able to trust each other. Secondly, we wanted everyone to learn to think of the other person.
Here are some examples of unacceptable teasing:
All of these kinds of teasing tend to be done with a mean or selfish spirit. However, it is also true that some things can become more acceptable as the children grow up and become more secure. In our family, it is now pretty reasonable to make comments about each other’s uncommonly large feet or quirky habits. It brings smiles when a hormonal girl is teased for crying or a young man is teased for being sweet to a young lady.
A key ingredient to healthy teasing
For teasing to be mutually understood, there has to be trust. The teasing should not undermine that. Thus, when o