42. Helping Your Child Learn Their Regulation

Continuing on from my episode about Co-Regulation, today I’ll be sharing all of my insights, tips, and tricks on how to help your child effectively recognize when their emotions are building up, and cope with them before they escalate out of control. Our kids are very present in their bodies, which is why their feelings tend to come out in very physical ways. Having your child describe the physical sensation of their emotions, asking where they feel them (in the cheeks, fingers, chest, behind their eyes, etc.), using the “Hot and Cold” Method, and giving their feelings a specific name can help slow the process down and give your child time to identify what’s going on. Having a “Throwing Corner” in your home, checking in with your child throughout the day, engaging in Big Play, and getting outside can also help as an outlet for emotional tension.

Thank you for your listening, and I appreciate your patronage more than I can say. For more information on my potty training and parenting resources, please visit the links below.

The Finer Details of This Episode:

Developmental Biologist Bruce Lipton has noted that until age 7, kids don’t have consciousness or self-awareness just yet

We want to allow emotions to flow, but also be teaching children the language and skills to properly cope with them

Help kids recognize when they are experiencing a buildup of emotion, and intervene before it instantly escalates from 0-60

Our kids are very present in their bodies, which is why emotions come out in such physical ways

Asking your child where they feel their emotions (cheeks, fingers, chest, behind the eyes) will help slow the process down

Start the day by checking in with your child and using a “dial” to measure where their big feelings lie

‘Throwing Corner’ in your house can help kids vocalize their feelings and complete the circuit of emotion

Big play, physical activity, outdoor time also help as an outlet for emotional tension

Transitions continue to be very difficult as we return to life after the pandemic

Young toddlers do not remember life before COVID, and all they know is your parenting through the pandemic

Don’t wait until you get home to have fun and connect with your child - start as soon as you pick them up, walk to the car, or on your drive home

We tend to rush to the next “big event,” but it’s important to find ways to slow down and enjoy the transitions together - these are the moments where you can truly connect

With hitting, you can try the gentle approach first, but if that doesn’t resolve the behavior, you will need to step in and remove your child immediately

Once a child knows they can disrespect you on that level without any consequences, you will have a nightmare on your hands

The “Fuck-You Kid” comes out of the womb ready to fight and challenge you

With these types of kids, you need to make sure you’re on top of hunger and sleep

They also need strict boundaries (set bedtimes, mealtimes), but freedom within those limits (like messy play, tinkering and taking apart old electronics)

Set these boundaries and don’t engage in power struggles - no negotiating

They could also have ADHD, and their circadian rhythms are backwards

They typically have impulse control issues

Remember that we get the kid that is meant for us

Focus on their good qualities and try not to get bogged down in the negative

As with all toddlers, make sure they are getting enough sleep and nutritious food

Links:

Jamie’s Homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/

Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU

Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - 

https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738

Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?

Jamie’s Instagram Page: @jamie.glowacki

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