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Her Comeback with Dr. Julie Merriman
Her Comeback Podcast — Episode Summary
hercomebackpodcast.com; https://www.youtube.com/@MichelleThompson-LifeCoaching
Guest: Dr. Julie Merriman, PhD, LPC | Host: Coach Michelle Thompson |
Overview
Dr. Julie Merriman — counselor, speaker, and author with 30+ years of clinical experience — joins Michelle Thompson to reframe burnout as a physiological nervous system response, not a personal failure. Her message: Soul Joy is available to every woman. We just have to stop asking permission for it.
What Burnout Really Looks Like
Burnout rarely announces itself with a dramatic crash. More often it arrives as flatness, numbness, and a quiet loss of desire. Dr. Merriman's own turning point came after receiving a standing ovation and feeling absolutely nothing — what she calls being "a floating head of competence," disconnected from her own body.
Beneath the surface, burnout is identity erosion: women become so buried in roles — mom, professional, caregiver — that the real self disappears. It's not weakness. It's a dysregulated nervous system stuck in survival mode.
The Nervous System Framework
The root of burnout is a polyvagal system that has been chronically activated. Running on adrenaline and cortisol, the body shuts down pleasure, digestion, and connection — anything that would "get in the way of running from a saber-toothed tiger." Bubble baths and vacations don't fix this. True healing requires regulating the nervous system first, before mindset work or behavior change can take hold.
High-achieving women most often default to the fawn response — people-pleasing, over-functioning, anticipating everyone's needs — which keeps the system perpetually activated. Decades of this rewire neural pathways, and menopause around 50 removes the estrogen buffer that helped women brace through it all. Dr. Merriman reframes that moment not as loss, but as a powerful wake-up call.
Practical Tools to Start This Week
• Rectangle breathing: Inhale 4 → Hold 4 → Exhale 6 (longer exhale activates the vagus nerve)
• Full body scan: Slowly scan head to toe, noticing sensations with curiosity and no judgment
• Grounding: Shoes off, bare feet on grass, deep breath, sunlight — research supports it
• Shaking: Literally shake the body to discharge tension, just as animals do naturally
• Shoulder drop: Check whether you're bracing — most women are, without realizing it
• Humming: Throat vibration stimulates the vagus nerve and signals safety
• Co-regulation: Seek calm, present people — mirror neurons are always available to us
Upcoming Book
Are We Gonna Have Sex or What? (Spring 2026) — nervous system regulation for desire and intimacy after 50, including scripts for couples, hormone guidance, and tips to wake up a bored nervous system.
Contact Dr. Julie Merriman: https://www.juliemerrimanphd.com/
View all episodes
By Michelle ThompsonHer Comeback Podcast — Episode Summary
hercomebackpodcast.com; https://www.youtube.com/@MichelleThompson-LifeCoaching
Guest: Dr. Julie Merriman, PhD, LPC | Host: Coach Michelle Thompson |
Overview
Dr. Julie Merriman — counselor, speaker, and author with 30+ years of clinical experience — joins Michelle Thompson to reframe burnout as a physiological nervous system response, not a personal failure. Her message: Soul Joy is available to every woman. We just have to stop asking permission for it.
What Burnout Really Looks Like
Burnout rarely announces itself with a dramatic crash. More often it arrives as flatness, numbness, and a quiet loss of desire. Dr. Merriman's own turning point came after receiving a standing ovation and feeling absolutely nothing — what she calls being "a floating head of competence," disconnected from her own body.
Beneath the surface, burnout is identity erosion: women become so buried in roles — mom, professional, caregiver — that the real self disappears. It's not weakness. It's a dysregulated nervous system stuck in survival mode.
The Nervous System Framework
The root of burnout is a polyvagal system that has been chronically activated. Running on adrenaline and cortisol, the body shuts down pleasure, digestion, and connection — anything that would "get in the way of running from a saber-toothed tiger." Bubble baths and vacations don't fix this. True healing requires regulating the nervous system first, before mindset work or behavior change can take hold.
High-achieving women most often default to the fawn response — people-pleasing, over-functioning, anticipating everyone's needs — which keeps the system perpetually activated. Decades of this rewire neural pathways, and menopause around 50 removes the estrogen buffer that helped women brace through it all. Dr. Merriman reframes that moment not as loss, but as a powerful wake-up call.
Practical Tools to Start This Week
• Rectangle breathing: Inhale 4 → Hold 4 → Exhale 6 (longer exhale activates the vagus nerve)
• Full body scan: Slowly scan head to toe, noticing sensations with curiosity and no judgment
• Grounding: Shoes off, bare feet on grass, deep breath, sunlight — research supports it
• Shaking: Literally shake the body to discharge tension, just as animals do naturally
• Shoulder drop: Check whether you're bracing — most women are, without realizing it
• Humming: Throat vibration stimulates the vagus nerve and signals safety
• Co-regulation: Seek calm, present people — mirror neurons are always available to us
Upcoming Book
Are We Gonna Have Sex or What? (Spring 2026) — nervous system regulation for desire and intimacy after 50, including scripts for couples, hormone guidance, and tips to wake up a bored nervous system.
Contact Dr. Julie Merriman: https://www.juliemerrimanphd.com/