Here We Grow

Finally, with the help of the State of Indiana, Angelica is free of Rage. There are no more manipulation tactics to be played. Angelica tells us how this 10 year long nightmare finally ended and how good it felt for it to be over. She shares what she has learned from the experience and what others can learn from her story.

Trigger Warnings:

sexual, emotional abuse

Resources:

https://www.charliehealth.com/mental-health/personality-disorders/signs-youre-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse#:~:text=If%20you%20or%20a%20loved,trauma%2C%20codependency%2C%20and%20more.

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://nyccounseling.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-resources/

Dr. Ramani's stuff: https://doctor-ramani.com/

At this point Angelica is on the verge of freedom and she’s trying her hardest to claw her way there. But she has to drudge through more of Rage’s tactics. He won’t make it easy. This is called post-separation abuse. Eventually Angelica has to start making decisions for her safety and it turns out, it is a good thing she did.

Trigger Warnings:

sexual, emotional abuse

Resources:

https://www.charliehealth.com/mental-health/personality-disorders/signs-youre-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse#:~:text=If%20you%20or%20a%20loved,trauma%2C%20codependency%2C%20and%20more.

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://nyccounseling.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-resources/

Dr. Ramani's stuff: https://doctor-ramani.com/

The glass has shattered, and for the first time, the damage to Angelica’s trust is permanent. She has decisions to make about what to do next. Recognizing his control is slipping, Rage throws every "hail Mary" he can think of to dismantle her sanity, cloud her judgment and to try and back pedal the damage he has caused but it is not enough.Trigger Warnings:

sexual, emotional abuse

Resources:

https://www.charliehealth.com/mental-health/personality-disorders/signs-youre-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse#:~:text=If%20you%20or%20a%20loved,trauma%2C%20codependency%2C%20and%20more.

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://nyccounseling.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-resources/

Dr. Ramani's stuff: https://doctor-ramani.com/

The wedding is here and things are wild. From warning signs and red flags leading up to the wedding, the serious tainting of the specialness of the big day, there is so much to go over. Angelica learns a lot during this time frame. And any newlywed bliss is short-lived as Rage’s dirty secrets come to light and dismantle their lives.

Trigger Warnings:

sexual, emotional abuse

Resources:

https://www.charliehealth.com/mental-health/personality-disorders/signs-youre-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse#:~:text=If%20you%20or%20a%20loved,trauma%2C%20codependency%2C%20and%20more.

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://nyccounseling.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-resources/

Dr. Ramani's stuff: https://doctor-ramani.com/

Rage has started to build a life with Angelica, something she has always wanted, but we later learn that nothing has changed, besides the mask getting stronger. More rollercoasters ensue in this episode and we learn all the struggles leading up to the planning of the wedding.

Trigger Warnings:

sexual, emotional abuse

Resources:

https://www.charliehealth.com/mental-health/personality-disorders/signs-youre-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse#:~:text=If%20you%20or%20a%20loved,trauma%2C%20codependency%2C%20and%20more.

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://nyccounseling.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-resources/

Dr. Ramani's stuff: https://doctor-ramani.com/

By now, the pattern of Rage’s behavior is undeniable, but the complexity of the trap is only growing. Angelica deconstructs some integral parts of their relationship’s calculated highs and lows, how it’s affecting outside relationships and what Angelica has to do to cope. She draws out a map of emotional and physical betrayal at the hands of Rage and his excuses that came with them.

Trigger Warnings:

sexual, emotional abuse and mentions of sexual assault

Resources:

https://www.charliehealth.com/mental-health/personality-disorders/signs-youre-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse#:~:text=If%20you%20or%20a%20loved,trauma%2C%20codependency%2C%20and%20more.

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://nyccounseling.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-resources/

Dr. Ramani's stuff: https://doctor-ramani.com/

At this point in the timeline we are beginning to understand Angelica and Rage’s relationship as adults figuring out the world. In addition to these typical relationship pains that occur when taking a relationship from childhood to adulthood, Angelica finds herself in some of the most abusive parts of this relationship yet. Rage is laying down the framework for the level of control he holds for the rest of the relationship. Please check the trigger warnings below.

Trigger Warnings:

sexual, emotional abuse

Resources:

https://www.charliehealth.com/mental-health/personality-disorders/signs-youre-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse#:~:text=If%20you%20or%20a%20loved,trauma%2C%20codependency%2C%20and%20more.

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://nyccounseling.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-resources/

Dr. Ramani's stuff: https://doctor-ramani.com/

To understand how a decade can be stolen, we have to go back to the very beginning, when Angelica first started dating Rage. The beginning of this relationship was a precursor for everything that followed. In this episode, we trace the invisible threads between childhood and our choice in partners. Angelica maps out exactly how her upbringing created the perfect blueprint for Rage to follow—and why, at the time, being "chosen" was enough to ignore the warning signs.

Trigger Warnings:

sexual, emotional abuse

Resources:

https://www.charliehealth.com/mental-health/personality-disorders/signs-youre-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse#:~:text=If%20you%20or%20a%20loved,trauma%2C%20codependency%2C%20and%20more.

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://nyccounseling.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-resources/

Dr. Ramani's stuff: https://doctor-ramani.com/

As Angelica begins to tell the story of her ten year long toxic and abusive relationship, we knew it would be important to preface that story with education about what narcissism is. Before we can understand her survival, we have to understand the textbook of the predator. Narcissism isn't just vanity; it’s a dangerous personality disorder that leaves its victims with scars from psychological, physical and emotional abuse. Do you know a narcissist?

Trigger Warnings:

sexual, emotional abuse

Resources:

https://www.charliehealth.com/mental-health/personality-disorders/signs-youre-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse#:~:text=If%20you%20or%20a%20loved,trauma%2C%20codependency%2C%20and%20more.

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://nyccounseling.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-resources/

The podcast episode we reference in this episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0I2gLTPtqvNxQKOaEJKEqQ

Dr. Ramani's stuff:https://doctor-ramani.com/

We’re celebrating our 100th episode by dressing up like we’re 100 years old and playing bingo with a twist. Each bingo square represents something off a list of things that are none of our business! Join us for a fun celebration and find these two old ladies on Instagram today.