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What if the version of you that shrinks is both timid and brilliant?
In this retreat coaching session, we sit with Brian Perry, an authentic communication coach and singer-songwriter, as his body remembers a childhood rule: being seen is dangerous.
What unfolds is a vivid map of survival, from bullying to family dynamics, and the subtle ways a protector part can keep you safe while also keeping you small.
A kid who learned that the most dangerous thing was to be seen. A man who believed he was meant to be a priest. A body that still knows how to make itself smaller, even at six foot six.
And underneath all of it — a version of Brian that people feel in the room before he says a word.
This episode is a window into real, embodied coaching work. A living exploration into what gets held back, what it costs, and what becomes possible when you stop hiding behind the lockers.
As you listen, put yourself in his shoes. Ask yourself the questions I'm asking him. Notice what stirs.
TAKEAWAYS- The survival strategies that kept us safe as kids don't disappear at 53 — they go underground and keep running the show. Of course they do. They worked.
- Courageous cowering isn't weakness. It's a smart adaptation that held something precious until the danger passed. Honoring it is the first step to releasing it.
- Invisibility as a survival strategy and neurodivergence interact in particular ways — the "too much and never enough" experience can make staying small feel like the only safe option.
- Strength doesn't come despite the survival years. It comes because of them.
- You can't think your way into a new version of yourself. You have to feel the posture and inhabit the body of the leader you’re becoming.
Support the show
Thank you so much for listening!
Take the free Speaker Alter Ego Quiz to find out which protective mask is hiding your wild, untamed radiance.
https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/
Follow me on:
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/
Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646
View all episodes
By Lauri SmithSend Lauri a message
What if the version of you that shrinks is both timid and brilliant?
In this retreat coaching session, we sit with Brian Perry, an authentic communication coach and singer-songwriter, as his body remembers a childhood rule: being seen is dangerous.
What unfolds is a vivid map of survival, from bullying to family dynamics, and the subtle ways a protector part can keep you safe while also keeping you small.
A kid who learned that the most dangerous thing was to be seen. A man who believed he was meant to be a priest. A body that still knows how to make itself smaller, even at six foot six.
And underneath all of it — a version of Brian that people feel in the room before he says a word.
This episode is a window into real, embodied coaching work. A living exploration into what gets held back, what it costs, and what becomes possible when you stop hiding behind the lockers.
As you listen, put yourself in his shoes. Ask yourself the questions I'm asking him. Notice what stirs.
TAKEAWAYS- The survival strategies that kept us safe as kids don't disappear at 53 — they go underground and keep running the show. Of course they do. They worked.
- Courageous cowering isn't weakness. It's a smart adaptation that held something precious until the danger passed. Honoring it is the first step to releasing it.
- Invisibility as a survival strategy and neurodivergence interact in particular ways — the "too much and never enough" experience can make staying small feel like the only safe option.
- Strength doesn't come despite the survival years. It comes because of them.
- You can't think your way into a new version of yourself. You have to feel the posture and inhabit the body of the leader you’re becoming.
Support the show
Thank you so much for listening!
Take the free Speaker Alter Ego Quiz to find out which protective mask is hiding your wild, untamed radiance.
https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/
Follow me on:
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/
Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646