Twas the night before showtime, and all through the house, everyone was excited, even Ben's spouse.The pre-sale tickets were purchased with care, with hopes this installment was well worth the fare.

Zibelli was ready, excited as fuck, while visions of Skywalker made him go buck. And E riding shotgun, and Ben's heart a'beat, had just settled in to Lucas's seat.

When out on the screen, there arose such a clatter, the film sucked a dick that couldn't be fatter. Away from the theater they flew like a flash, tore open our toilets and threw up our cash.

The film on the screen of the new Episode, gave the impression that no one was home. When what to our saddening eyes should appear, a total disgrace, the worst film of the year.

With a bitch-made director, so useless as piss, I knew in a moment it was time for a diss. More rapid than speeders, his intentions were clear. To fuck us, and liked it, and not offer beers.

Now, DAMERON! Now, PHASMA! Now, ICE DOGS and SHIT STAINS! On, LEIA! On, LAURA! On, BONER and HEART PAINS!

Anyhow, Episode 8 was terrible. Benny and RZ tell you why. Then they tell you why the Patriots are the greatest gift of all. Happy Holidays!