Suddenly my world, as I knew it, crashed in around me. Without warning, I was engulfed by an enormous wave swell. I found out I was pregnant. I was scared. I couldn’t breathe. I felt the pull of the water. I was sinking. I tried to swim my way to the surface to get some air. I judged myself really harshly and  wondered how I could be so reckless. I felt alone. Hopeless. Faithless.