The Ballad of Regular Person Andy

Once a prince with pomp and perks,

Now stripped of titles, dodging smirks.

From York’s high halls to scandal’s pit,

Andy proved entitlement’s witless skit.

(No sweat, he swears.)

He sneered at Kate, with jealous bite,

A petty uncle, dim in spite.

William sharpened knives behind the scene,

While Andy puffed with airs obscene.

(No sweat, he swears.)

Twelve million pounds — oh, what a loan?

“From mummy’s purse?” the whispers groan.

A buffoon’s bill, a nation’s sigh,

Privilege paid to make truth die.

(No sweat, he swears.)

Emails with Epstein, “we’re in this together,”

Audacity thicker than royal leather.

Forty escorts in Thailand’s sun,

Diplomats nodding — what a run!

(No sweat, he swears.)

He clung to Lodge with taxpayer grace,

Till Charles said, “Pack up, disgrace.”

Sandringham’s exile, a gilded cage,

Still whining, still dining, still center stage.

(No sweat, he swears.)

Camilla scolds, the King rethinks,

Andy sinks while monarchy shrinks.

Letters Patent seal the fall,

No HRH, no prince at all.

(No sweat, he swears.)

So here’s the tale, absurd and grand,

Of Andy, buffoon across the land.

Entitled, audacious, privilege‑fed,

A clown in ermine, now stripped instead.

(No sweat, he swears.)

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Prince Andrew scandal: Epstein ties, Virginia Giuffre lawsuit, “I don’t sweat” claim, King Charles strips titles, royal downfall

• Prince Andrew scandal

• Jeffrey Epstein connection

• Virginia Giuffre lawsuit

• Royal Family crisis

• King Charles strips titles

• Prince William ruthless approach

• Queen Camilla influence

• “I don’t sweat” interview

• Royal entitlement and privilege

• Sandringham exile

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Remember to like, share, and follow — the way Prince Andrew remembers that one very specific trip to Pizza Express in Woking on his daughter’s birthday, while somehow forgetting literally everything else.