2007’s Hitman might be the worst video game adaptation we’ve covered so far, but it’s almost unfair to call it a video game adaptation when this film is clearly more inspired by *cough* Bourne *cough* something else. What’s the deal with these inconsistent city title cards? Is Nika the worst female character in cinema history? What makes the Hitman video games the perfect sandbox? All that, plus our recommendations on hitman movies that are actually good.