Today I learned that I have to hold on as tight as possible. Earlier today at work I just wanted to say fuck it. Like honestly dealing with working the most hours I’ve ever had and dealing with passive aggressive coworkers then dealing with demanding customers I wanted to just walk off. I was thinking what was the point of this shit? To get an Accountanting job that I will surely grow to hate. My morale was low as fuck. I got into an arguement with my boss and was pretty much told that I could quit. Its these annoyance that build over time that make me want to call it in and change direction. This was the same feeling that deterred me from finishing up with school when I first had the chance to. It’s feeling like your trapped. It’s feeling like everybody is going to tell you what to do and you just have to suck it up. I can understand why the younger me rebelled and shirked anything that looked like a responsibility. But a more wiser me knows now that that half the battle is behind me. I know now that these mid points are where boys can become men. Even though it’s tough as shit right now this is a great opportunity to hold firmer than ever before. To follow through with the long term plan. To not give up and not wander off the path. It’s so annoying dealing with so much bullshit and rejection but the alternative is just living at home with Mom well into my late 20s. The higher a person’s stress tolerance is the better and longer they are able to just push through to the other side. I need to get to the other side. I need to move out and take full responsibility for myself. I need to put a large amount of distance between me and my family so I can get the best out of myself. I need to hold on as tight as possible.