As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play a vital role in your child’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-child relationship, and setting up a daily homework routine provides a perfect opportunity. 

Five to ten-year-olds are in the process of establishing critical learning habits, including how they approach homework, that will extend throughout their school years. For most children, homework is a nightly reality. Children with a parent or someone in a parenting role supporting learning at home and engaging in their school community have more consistent school attendance, better social skills, and higher grade point averages and test scores than those without such support. ^1^ Indeed, parental involvement best predicts students’ academic achievement.

Yet, there are challenges. “I don’t want to do homework. I haven’t had any time to play,” might be a frequent complaint you hear from your seven-year-old. Your child may push back when they have other goals in mind. Their goal - “How can I play longer?” - is typical. 

A National Center on Families Learning study found that 60% of American families struggle to help children with homework.^2^ More than 25% admit that they struggle because they are too busy, up from just over 20% in 2013. Other reasons parents identified for having trouble with helping with homework were not understanding the subject matter (34%) and pushback from their kids (41%).^3^

While getting a regular homework routine going might be a challenge, it can be a joyful experience that promotes valuable skills for school and life success. The steps below include specific, practical strategies and effective conversation starters to support a homework routine in cooperative ways that avoid a daily battle. 

Why Homework? 

Five and six-year-olds will be brand new to the homework experience, and you will have an opportunity to establish positive habits that will stay with them for years. Seven, eight, nine, and ten-year-olds will bring new academic challenges home, like reading with competence and learning fractions. Additionally, they may be expected to complete long-term projects. This will take a whole new level of planning and organization. In addition to reinforcing the lessons taught in the classroom, homework teaches students essential executive function skills, including the ability to plan, organize, prioritize, and execute tasks.  Homework is a reality for most students, and assignments can become challenging if regular routines are not established. Today, in the short term, establishing effective homework habits will create 

●      greater cooperation and motivation

●      more significant opportunities for connection and enjoyment as you implement your respective roles and feel set up for success

●      trust in each other that you have the competence to complete your responsibilities with practice and care

●      reduced frustrations from a lack of organization, space, or resources

●      learning about your child’s school curriculum

Tomorrow, in the long term, homework helps your child

●      build skills in collaboration and cooperative goal-setting 

●      build skills in responsible decision-making, hard work, and persistence

●      gains independence, life skills competence, and self-sufficiency

●      develop positive learning habits that contribute directly to school success

Five Steps for Creating a Homework Routine

This five-step process helps your family establish a homework routine and builds essential skills in your child. The same process can also be used to address other parenting issues (learn more about the process[1] ).

Tip: These steps are best when you and your child are not tired or in a rush. Tip: Intentional communication[2]  and a healthy parenting relationship[3]  support these steps.Step 1. Get Your Child Thinking by Getting Their Input

You can get your child thinking about establishing a homework routine by asking them open-ended questions. You’ll help prompt your child’s thinking. You’ll also begin to understand their thoughts, feelings, and challenges related to homework better so that you can address them. In gaining input, your child

●      has the opportunity to think through the routine and problem solve through any challenges they may encounter ahead of time

●      has a more significant stake in anything they’ve designed themselves (and with that sense of ownership comes a greater responsibility for implementing the routine)

●      will have more motivation to work together and cooperate because of their sense of ownership

●      will be working with you on making informed decisions (understanding the reasons behind those decisions) about a critical aspect of their learning -- their homework

Actions

●      Allowing your child some choices in establishing a homework routine will add to your child’s sense of control and motivation. Questions you could ask to understand your child’s preferences better include: 

○      “How do you want to spend your time after school?”

○      “Would you like a snack first?”

○      “Do you want to change into play clothes first?”

○      “Do you want time to rest or run outside and play?”

○      “Considering all the activities that typically occur after school, when is the best time for you to do homework?”

●      Experiment to figure out a homework plan. Since the homework experience for younger children is new, you’ll want to take a week and try different times to see what works best with your child’s energy. Your child, for example, may say that they want to get homework done right after school only to find that they’re mentally worn and need a break. So, ask critical questions and assign a first trial week. If one way doesn’t work, try out an after-dinner time and ask again: “Does this time work better?” Everyone has different energy cycles and times when they feel better able to focus, so work on discovering that rhythm with your child, and you’ll go a long way toward setting them up for success! 

●      Once you agree upon a time that works for everyone, your attempts to keep homework consistent will ensure it becomes a habit and routine. If you are consistent, it can serve as a predictable, non-negotiable process. Your child knows what to expect and when to expect it.

●      Remember what your child says is the best time to do homework. Set a timer to go off at that time. Instead of you calling out, “Time for homework!” which may incite a battle, an inanimate object alerts them.

●      If your child has decided to do homework right after school, provide a healthy, high-protein snack first (peanut butter crackers, cheese sticks, and apples). Consider having this snack ready for the car ride home. 

●      If you cannot offer a choice in the time of day homework is completed, then find another choice your child can make. For example, allow your child to decide what space they use or what snack they will have to accompany homework completion. Adding some level of choice to the process will prevent arguments and help your child take ownership.

●      Set up a space. Take some time to determine a consistent space for homework completion. Look for

○      a well-lit location

○      proximity to your family’s living space or kitchen (wherever you’ll typically be so that you are never far to offer support)

○      a solid work surface that can get dirty

○      a water bottle

●      Work with your child to get the homework space ready. You’ll want to set up the space with:

○      school supplies (loose-leaf paper, crayons, glue sticks, scissors, pencils, a pencil sharpener, a children’s dictionary, and any other items you anticipate they might need)

○      no clutter (A disorganized environment can distract from a child’s focus. So eliminate clutter, organize tools, and only have the essentials. Invest in a few supply holders to keep tools neat and ready.)

○      a binder, bin, or other receptacle designated for school papers that are brought home and stay at home

●      A homework space provides a well-equipped, consistent place for your child to focus entirely on the work at hand. In this way, they’ll know what to expect. You won’t have frustrations like not being able to find a school tool. And they’ll learn to take greater responsibility for their learning as they work with you to organize this space.

●      Make it fun! Designing a homework spot together can be an enjoyable experience. Allow your child to pick out their own organization bins and school tools. They could make a sign with their name to designate the space. Or, create a poster with an inspirational saying like, “Good things come from hard work!” Take a little time to label your new supply holders with names, stickers, or drawings to let your child personalize them. All this can be motivating to a child. 

●      Create a family homework rule. Be sure to discuss (at a family dinner, for example) how the family can respect homework time. Consider whether you want all siblings to do homework simultaneously or not. If you want everyone to do homework simultaneously, consider what must happen to make that happen. Either way, agree upon a homework rule that everyone will respect the person who is focused on their work and be quiet in that area of the house.

●      If your child is prone to feeling overwhelmed by homework, you can scaffold your child by breaking the work into chunks. Set a timer for fifteen minutes of work and then a five-minute break to eliminate the wiggles. Fifteen-minute chunks will help the task feel more doable.

●      Support your child’s persistence skills with praise. “I know it was hard to come inside from playing. I am impressed by how you are tackling things now.” Even if the transition to doing homework was challenging, remember to highlight any behaviors that move in the direction you are seeking more of. Many parents forget to acknowledge the small steps toward the goal behavior. 

Step 2. Teach New Skills

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, learning which developmental milestones[4]  a child works on can help a parent know which tasks might be more difficult. Here are some examples as they relate to homework:^4^

●      Five-year-olds like to help and follow the rules. They typically see only one way of doing things (so if you suggest another, it might be difficult for them to understand and follow). They also may fear making mistakes, so it’s important to send the message that “Everyone makes mistakes, and mistakes are essential to learning.”

●      Six-year-olds may be more apt to question your rules and refuse to proceed with the routine. However, they are ambitious and eager to do well, so they recognize small steps toward competence.

●      Seven-year-olds crave routine and structure, so they may be unable to deal with a chaotic household that distracts them from their focus.

●      Eight-year-olds are highly social and thrive in cooperative learning groups. This could be a great time to introduce a study partner/friend, where buddies complete homework together, discuss issues, and support one another. (This may not work for every child, so it is essential to know your child and their ways of learning and focusing.) Eight-year-olds may also enjoy discussing what they are working on with you more than in past years.

●      Nine-year-olds are competent with fine motor skills but can become easily frustrated. They may need directions that contain one instruction. They require patience and can be hard on themselves.

●      Ten-year-olds are growing rapidly, so they require more movement. They have a strong sense of right and wrong and are aware of fairness issues. Homework can help them feel more competent, though challenging work may trigger anger and frustration.

Teaching is different than just telling. Teaching builds basic skills, grows problem-solving abilities, and prepares your child for success. Teaching also involves modeling and practicing the positive behaviors you want to see, promoting skills, and preventing problems. 

Actions

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, it is easy to be confused about how best to support your child’s homework. Here are some specific ways to define your role while ensuring your child owns their learning process.

●      When your child calls you over to ask about a problem, ask prompting questions such as:

○      “Where in your book did you find this lesson?” 

○      “Where else could you look to find the answer?”

○      “What other ways can you think about your answer?”

○      Share your curiosity and interest in the subject, but do not provide an answer.

●      Lead your child to resources. Homework frequently looks like a worksheet that follows a chapter. That chapter had all the new concepts laid out and is being exercised on that worksheet. Because young children have not yet figured out basic learning habits, they likely won’t know to go back into the book to search for the answers so often spelled out for them. Guide them right back to their text. Take a look together. Here are a few key tips:

○      Focus on keywords so that they, too, can learn to spot keywords. 

○      Attempt to read together. Young children learning to read may require help reading and understanding directions. 

○      Use your finger to underscore the text you are reading. 

○      Ask your child which words are most important when discussing a problem. 

○      Have your child underline or highlight those words in the instructions or in the specific question they are trying to answer so that you have a focusing point. Children need support in figuring out what is most important in making sense of the text of any kind.

●      Research together. If you cannot find the source of the problem in your child’s books, do some online research together. But be sure that you allow your child to drive the process. You might ask, “What should we look up or search for together?” These are the first seeds of solid research skills.

●      Letting your child be the teacher can be empowering. You can say, “I don’t know much about _____  can you teach me?”

●      Teach the essential “brain break.” Breaks do not represent weakness or a lack of persistence. People’s brains work better if they take frequent breaks. 

●      Show proactively what a brain break might look like. Pretend to play through it. Parent: sit with your pencil and paper and say aloud, “I am starting to feel frustrated.” Then, move away from your seat and breathe deeply and loudly. Get a drink of water. Walk outside and breathe in the fresh air. Take your child with you to do this alongside you. 

●      You might ask, “What else makes you feel better and comforted when frustrated?” Brainstorm a brief list of spaces, places, things, and actions that offer comfort when frustrated. Leave that list in your school tool homework space. It will serve as an ongoing resource when brain breaks are required.

●      It’s a common challenge for a child to fear making mistakes during homework time. Homework is practice; it is intended as a time to try out an answer, get it wrong, and try again. Hang up a sign near your homework spot to remind your child, “Mistakes are part of learning.”

●      You do not need to be a subject matter expert. If you struggle to get the correct answer, take a step back. Realize that you are stealing a learning opportunity away from your child. Ask yourself how you can provide guidance and support for them to answer the question or solve the problem (even if they get it wrong).

Step 3. Practice to Grow Skills and Develop Habits

Homework practice can be cooperatively completing the task together or trying out a task with you as a coach and ready support. Practice grows vital new brain connections that strengthen (and eventually form habits) each time your child practices. 

Actions

●      Use “Show me…” statements with a positive tone and body language to express excitement and curiosity. When a child learns a new ability, they are eager to show it off! Give them that chance. Say: “Show me you know what’s next when our timer goes off.” This can be used when you are in the after-school routine and need an alert to move on to homework.

●      Do a “brain break” dry run. During homework, one night, maybe at a natural breaking point, play “brain break.” Practice moving away from homework. Get a drink of water. Walk outside and sniff the fresh air. Then, go back and ask, “Do you feel refreshed and ready, or do you need a little more time?” If your child responds that they need more time, what would make them feel better? Perhaps hugging a teddy bear or running around the house might do the trick. This practice is super important if you...