femmyst | everyday alchemya really good look | part 1 Honest Self Audit→ a survey not a sentencethe honest audit is not self-punishment. it is self-assessment. and this is a survey. what is messy and leaky about the way you move. not to condemn it. to see it clearly. you have the capacity for this now.→ your time and focus are expensivethere are things that count on you and need you. and there are things that do not. the audit is about beginning to tell the difference. not to cut everything but to look at what you're converting your time and energy into and for whom.→ the little waysnot the obvious ones. the little ways you scroll to feel like you're resting. the little ways you don't let your needs see the light of day because you anticipate they'll clash with someone else's. the things you're doing because you've always done them without looking at the opportunity cost.→ the mom examplehaving to reprogram what self-care was allowed to feel like. the mask on the plane first. realising that some of what felt like selfishness was actually just a basic requirement. repatterning that is part of the audit.→ smiling but frustrated behind the smilewhen you notice that incoherence, that is the signal. you don't always have to change the action immediately. you come home, you journal, you sit with it, you let it open up and show you why you're conflicted. the external change comes after the internal seeing.→ call back your energyleaky messy energy is the incoherence between who you are and what you're showing. it wears on the system. it can signal that you can't take on anything bigger because you're already strapped holding the facade in other places.→ the given exchange rateself-value, competence, boundaries. where do you perform competence without believing it. where do you hold a boundary in theory but it keeps getting knocked over. these are the miscalibrations. not failures. miscalibrations. they can be recalibrated.→ strings attachedsometimes giving is a tactic. sometimes overly accommodating others is a way of making life smoother for yourself. it can create obligation strings neither person asked for. seeing this honestly, without shame, is part of the audit.for a specific few:• ⧼the one who has been holding a boundary in theory for years while it keeps getting knocked over in practice, 11:33 is the one⧽────༺♰༻────0:00 - A Really Good Look, honest self-audit, not self-punishment0:33 - through-line, energetic immune system, capacity to see this now1:14 - a survey: what's messy and leaky about the way you move2:03 - not a shame exercise, not hyper-independent2:45 - your time and focus are expensive3:43 - what I'm asking you to question: the little ways you scroll for rest4:49 - mom example, reprogramming self-care as not selfish5:55 - smiling but frustrated behind the smile6:53 - go home, journal on it, why am I conflicted7:59 - leaky messy energy, incoherence wearing on the machine8:56 - playing small, sabotaging bigger goals, architecture not installed yet9:54 - call back your energy, call back your investment10:44 - self-value, the given exchange rate on things11:33 - performing competence without believing it, boundary keeps getting knocked over12:23 - remain neutral, not hard on yourself or others13:12 - the honest audit is an act of self-love and love for others────────