This week we're getting real about the one thing every mum talks about needing but almost never actually gets: rest. We kick off with a stat that'll make you laugh (and cry) — the average mum works the equivalent of 2.5 full-time jobs when you combine paid work, childcare, and household labour. Oh, and the weekend? Sold to us as rest. TGIF indeed.

From white-knuckling a weekend full of activities and face paint in the shed, to the concept of a 'switch-off moment' (hint: it used to happen at daycare drop-off), we unpack the reality of modern motherhood — the mental load, the mum guilt, the constant spinning of plates — with humour, honesty, and zero judgement.

We also ask the uncomfortable question: when was the last time you genuinely rested? The answer might surprise you (Fiji, 2021, before the second kid arrived).

In This Episode

[00:00]  The 2.5 jobs stat — why weekends don't count as rest

[02:00]  Weekend activities and the reality behind 'making memories'

[03:47]  Managing kids' boredom without losing your mind

[05:00]  Planning excursions in a busy city — chicken nuggets in the air fryer FTW

[07:34]  Switch-off moments: what happened to just… not thinking?

[09:00]  The challenge of rest — binge-watching Netflix used to be a valid activity

[11:59]  The trend of mums actually taking time for themselves (gasp)

[13:28]  Mum guilt vs. dad guilt — spoiler: not the same thing

[15:14]  The mental load and calendar management — spinning plates edition

[17:57]  When was the last time you genuinely rested?

[20:00]  Messy moments, face paint, and kids in the shed

[23:00]  Kids' creative play — beautiful chaos

[25:00]  Language, boundaries, and honest parenting conversations

[27:00]  The importance of rest — what the research actually says

[28:30]  Reflecting on balance and closing thoughts

Camping with preschoolers is not for the faint-hearted.

In this episode, we unpack the beautiful chaos of family camping trips, the sleep deprivation, emotional meltdowns (from kids and adults), post-surgery recovery, and the strange parenting phenomenon where you swear never again… only to start planning the next trip days later.

We share honest reflections on marriage under pressure, parenting through exhaustion, and why humour is sometimes the only survival tool. Along the way, we talk about building a brand in the middle of real life, leaning on community support, and collaborating with people who truly understand the parenting experience.

It’s raw, funny, relatable and a reminder that the messiest moments often become the memories we treasure most.

Hot messes. Big visions. And muddy shoes.

Key Takeaways

• Camping can seriously test your patience (and your marriage).
• Making memories with your kids is hard work — but deeply rewarding.
• Parenting post-surgery adds a whole new level of challenge.
• Sleep deprivation is basically a parenting rite of passage.
• Community support matters more than we realise.
• Humour helps everything.
• Building a brand takes collaboration and understanding.
• Your parenting perspective evolves over time.
• Kids absolutely copy their siblings (for better or worse).
• Every chaotic moment is still a learning moment.

No one warns you that parenthood can change your body, your energy, and even your motivation — and that it’s not because you’re lazy, failing, or “not coping well enough.”

In this episode of Hot Messes, Big Visions, Nikki and Sophia talk honestly about the parts of parenthood that rarely get said out loud:
hair loss, hormone shifts, emotional exhaustion, and the quiet loss of motivation so many parents experience after having kids.

This isn’t about fixing yourself.
It’s about understanding what’s actually happening — and realising you’re not alone.

• Why hair loss after kids is more common than we admit
• How hormones impact motivation, mood, and energy
• Why “rest” doesn’t always fix exhaustion
• The guilt parents carry for not bouncing back
• Why this isn’t a personal failure — it’s a support gap
• How naming the reality can be the first relief

If you’ve ever thought “Why am I still so tired?” or “What’s wrong with me?” — this episode is for you.

🎧 New episodes every week
💛 Share this with a parent who needs to hear it

In this episode, we talk about:

But you have childcare… why are you still tired?”
We got asked this recently and honestly, it stopped us in our tracks.

In this episode of Hot Messes, Big Visions, we unpack why having childcare doesn’t magically make parenting easy, why so many parents still feel exhausted even with support, and how modern parenting has quietly turned tiredness into a personal failure.

Spoiler: it’s not.

We talk about:

• Why childcare doesn’t cancel mental load (or emotional labour)

• The pressure of mini mum “girl gangs” and comparison culture

• Why parents are still everything to everyone — even after school and daycare drop-off

• How we turn any spare capacity into more responsibility (hello degrees, side hustles, and “I’ll just do one more thing”)

• And why being tired doesn’t mean you’re doing parenting wrong — it means you’re carrying a lot

This isn’t a clapback.
It’s a very real, very honest chat between friends, the kind where you laugh, nod, and think oh thank god it’s not just me.

If you’re tired even with help, you’re not failing.
Parenting doesn’t get easy when you get support, it gets honest.

Christmas is often painted as a time to slow down and soak it all in — but for many parents, it can feel anything but restful.

In this episode of Hot Messes Big Visions, Nikki and Soph reflect on the reality of parenting through the holiday season. From managing Christmas expectations and cultural traditions to hosting, working, and navigating the chaos that comes with kids at home, this conversation explores why the holidays can feel so overwhelming.

We talk honestly about:

• the pressure to create the “perfect” Christmas

• expectations vs reality during the holidays

• cultural differences in how Christmas is celebrated

• parenting exhaustion and holiday burnout

• balancing work and family life

• the gaps in childcare and support for parents

As we look ahead to the year to come, we also share what we’re excited about, what we’re planning for the platform, and how we hope to better support parents moving forward.

If Christmas left you feeling tired, overstimulated, or quietly thinking “was that even a holiday?” — you’re not alone. This episode is a reminder that you don’t have to do it all, and that parenting through the holidays is hard for so many families.

Chapters

00:00 Welcome & reflecting on the holidays
02:40 Christmas expectations vs reality
05:14 Cultural Christmas celebrations
08:36 Holiday exhaustion with kids
14:07 Finding routine after the holidays
19:13 Parenting, work & work-life balance
23:34 Evolving childcare needs
25:54 Looking ahead to what’s next

Hot Messes Big Visions is a podcast about parenting, identity, work, and modern family life — told honestly, without pressure to have it all together.

In this lively conversation, Nikki and Soph discuss the chaos and challenges of December, particularly around Christmas. They share personal anecdotes about holiday preparations, the stress of managing children's expectations, and the realities of parenting during the festive season.

The conversation touches on the pressures of gift-giving, the complexities of family traditions, and the humorous yet relatable meltdowns that occur in the lead-up to Christmas. Ultimately, they reflect on the importance of keeping things low-key and enjoying the magic of the season without overwhelming themselves.

Chapters

00:00 December Dilemmas: The Holiday Hustle

05:48 Advent Adventures: The Chaos of Christmas Countdown

12:03 Meltdowns and Big Emotions: Navigating Parenting Challenges

18:08 Reflections on Parenting: Lessons Learned and Shared Experiences

20:08 The Pressure of Parenting in Public

23:34 The Christmas Conundrum: Expectations vs. Reality

26:54 Balancing Gift-Giving and Financial Realities

29:19 The Overwhelm of Holiday Preparations

33:57 Wrapping Up the Year: Reflections and Future Plans

In the latest episode of our podcast, we dive deep into the ups and downs of trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle while juggling the joys of life. Join us as we explore the comedic yet relatable struggles of exercise, indulgence, and the irresistible pull of the beach during the summer.

Discussing RNZ article: How Grandparents feel being the go-to childcare: https://www.rnz.co.nz/life/relationships/family/how-grandparents-feel-about-being-the-go-to-childcare

In this episode of Hot Messes Big Visions, hosts Nikki and Sophia share their experiences as parents navigating the chaos of family life. They discuss their messiest moments, the importance of community support, and the challenges of finding reliable childcare. The conversation touches on self-care, body image, and the realities of parenting, including bedwetting and discipline strategies. Throughout the episode, they emphasize the need for kindness towards oneself and the value of sharing parenting experiences with others.

In this conversation, Nikki & Soph discuss the challenges of parenting, including the impact of daylight savings on their energy levels, Nikki's decision to quit a job for family commitments, and the ongoing identity crisis that comes with motherhood. They share personal experiences of postpartum struggles, the difficulty of balancing exercise with parenting, and humorous messy moments, such as dealing with an ant infestation and the challenges of keeping a clean home. The conversation highlights the complexities of modern parenting and the shared experiences that come with it.

Takeaways

Daylight savings can significantly affect energy levels.

Quitting a job can be a difficult yet necessary decision for family.

Parenting often leads to an identity crisis as roles shift.

Postpartum life can bring unexpected challenges and changes.

Finding time for exercise is tough when balancing parenting and work.

Messy moments are a common part of family life.

It's important to share parenting struggles with others.

Maintaining a clean home can be overwhelming with young children.

Food rules in the house can be hard to enforce with kids.

Parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs.

Chapters

00:00 Surviving the Week: Daylight Savings and Fatigue

05:11 The Transformation: Life Changes After Kids

12:19 Messy Moments: Ant Infestations and Parenting Chaos

In this conversation, the hosts discuss the challenges of solo parenting, the emotional toll it takes, and the practical aspects of managing children's toys and sleep routines. They share personal anecdotes about transitioning to bunk beds, the farewell of cube storage, and the ongoing struggles with sleep training. The conversation highlights the need for control in chaotic parenting situations and the emotional meltdowns that can arise from the pressures of parenting.

Takeaways

Solo parenting can be incredibly challenging and isolating.

Cube storage provided a sense of organization that was hard to let go of.

Transitioning to bunk beds can lead to unexpected challenges.

Sleep training is a continuous journey with ups and downs.

Emotional meltdowns often occur when control feels lost.

Children's independence can lead to chaos and mess.

Finding a balance between parenting and personal time is crucial.

Communication with partners about parenting roles is essential.

The need for emotional outlets is important for parents.

Parenting requires flexibility and adaptability to changing circumstances.

Chapters

00:00 Solo Parenting Challenges

06:01 The Transition to Bunk Beds

11:39 Sleep Training Struggles

19:19 The Quest for Control

26:19 Emotional Meltdowns and Breakdowns