Roots and Attachment Podcast

How Attachment Styles Form (They’re Not Personality Traits)


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Attachment styles shape how we love, argue, pull away, cling, shut down, or stay silent in relationships—but most people don’t realize they formed long before adulthood.

In this episode of Roots & Attachment, Denver trauma therapist Erika Baum, LPCC, breaks down how attachment styles develop, why they exist, and why they are not personality traits or character flaws.

Through a relatable story and nervous-system-based explanation, you’ll learn how early caregiving experiences wire the brain for connection, protection, and survival—and why these patterns still show up in adult relationships today.

This episode is for you if:

* You’ve ever wondered “Why do I react this way in relationships?”

* You struggle with closeness, conflict, or emotional vulnerability

* You identify with anxious, avoidant, or fearful attachment patterns

* You want to heal attachment wounds without shame or self-blame

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

* What attachment styles actually are (and what they’re not)

* How attachment patterns form in early childhood

* Why babies “borrow” nervous systems from caregivers

* The real purpose of anxious and avoidant attachment styles

* Why attachment styles are survival strategies—not flaws

* How early adaptations show up in adult relationships

* Why healing attachment isn’t about fixing yourself

* How attachment patterns can change over time

Key Takeaway

Your attachment style isn’t who you are.It’s what worked when you had no better options.

And anything learned for survival can be gently updated.

About the Host

Erika Baum, MA, LPCC, NCC is an attachment-focused trauma therapist based in Denver, Colorado. She specializes in treating relational trauma, C-PTSD, and attachment wounds using EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), mindfulness, and nervous-system-based approaches.

Learn more about Erika’s work, therapy intensives, and attachment-focused resources at:👉 https://www.denverattachmentcounseling.com/

Relevant Keywords

attachment stylesanxious attachmentavoidant attachmentfearful avoidant attachmentsecure attachmentattachment traumachildhood traumanervous system regulationtrauma therapy DenverEMDR therapy DenverIFS therapyrelationships and attachmenthealing attachment woundsRoots and Attachment podcast



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Roots and Attachment PodcastBy Erika Baum