I'm sitting here at 15,420 days sober - over 42 years - and I just discovered a character defect I didn't even know existed.

How is that possible? How do you work the steps multiple times, do years of inventories, and STILL get blindsided by something that's been running your life the whole time?

Here's what happened: Recently, while processing the end of my 29-year relationship, BOOM - there it is. A wound from when I was 8 years old that I didn't even remember. My brother and his friend left me bleeding in a park after a bike accident. I nearly died. And that moment of abandonment? It's been shaping every relationship, every pattern, every fear for decades without me knowing it.

Meanwhile, I'm watching people in meetings who seem to just... fix things and move on. They work on their anger - handled. Their selfishness - done. And I'm thinking "Why does THEIR work stick and mine doesn't?"

Here's what I've learned: Some wounds are too deep to "fix" - you can only manage them. And the really maddening part? You don't know they're wounds when they happen. An 8-year-old kid doesn't think "This is going to mess me up for life." These things get buried so deep they run the show from the basement for decades.

If you're years into recovery and still struggling with the same patterns, this episode is for you. If you're comparing yourself to others who seem to have it all figured out, this is for you. If you're afraid you're doing it wrong because stuff keeps coming back, this is DEFINITELY for you.

This is a lifelong program. Not because we're doing it wrong, but because this is how it works. Recovery is a design for LIVING, not just getting sober.

You can be 15,420 days in and still be discovering. That's not failure. That's the path.

Age strong, live long. Good week, God bless.