idk im still 14 or like something "actually growing up is feeling like i turned sixteen two days ago. i have been eighteen for years. fifteen years olds seem so young. wasn't i fifteen just a few weeks ago? all my friends and i are still 12. to me. i'm closer to thirty than to being a baby. i never got to be a kid. i never grew past eight. i can't talk to my mom. i wanna sit in her lap forever. i want to decide everything for myself. i need someone to tell me exactly what to do. the week is going by so slow. an entire year has passed.