One Day At A Time

How hollywood demonizes hyper-femininity and ugly truths about pretty privilege

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Why does Madison Beer’s beauty make us feel so insecure? Why does Hollywood demonize hyper-femininity? Why do we have a love-hate relationship with girly girls? With trending TikTok topics like "not like the other girls," "that girl," "pick-me girls," "pretty privilege," I've been trying to understand conversations around conventional beauty and femininity and why we’re often so quick to assume and react negatively to those who embody these characteristics.


Through media and research dissections and some personal tea spilling, I unpack the downstream effects of a patriarchal system — one that breeds divisive media narratives, setting strict boundaries for girlhood and positioning femininity as a flaw. Constant exposure to these portrayals causes us to internalize these misogynistic biases in our everyday thoughts and behavior. In a society where a woman’s worth is closely tied to her appearance, I recognize social advantages tied to conventional beauty and femininity while pivoting the discussion to explore less glamorous aspects of these traits within a patriarchal hegemony.


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Follow me on Instagram @onedayatatime.mp3 or @valgfong and TikTok @valerie.fong.


Show Notes:

  • 0:42: Intro (TikTok trends, personal story that inspired this ep, disclaimers, etc.)
  • 6:18: Why do movies teach us to hate pink?
  • 7:30: The separation of femininity from feminism: how feminist movements shaped our perceptions of girlhood
  • 10:00: Who is the girly girl? What gendered tropes teach us about hyper-femininity
  • 13:37: Girls we love to hate: 3 myths about the hot mean girls
  • 14:10: #1: She’s an attention whore or a bitch..
  • 15:12: Girly Girl vs Not Like The Other Girls Girl
  • 16:54: #2: She’s a threat..
  • 18:52: #3: She’s not the brightest (the dumb blonde)
  • 22:50: Objectification
  • 24:12: Career and workplace challenges: retaliation, girl-on-girl resentment, and male-dominated industries
  • 27:47: Case study #1: Hedy Lamarr - beauty before brains
  • 29:09: Harmful forms of attention: victim blaming and harassment
  • 30:44: Case study #2: Stop blaming Madison Beer for your insecurities


    • Sources:

    • Harpin, J. & Holland, S. (2012). Who is the ‘girly’ girl? Tomboys, hyper-femininity and gender. Journal of Gender Studies.
    • Rosida, I., Ghazali, M. M., Dedi, D. & Salsabila, F. S. (2022). The Manifestation of Internalized Sexism in the Pick Me Girl Trend on TikTok. Alphabet Journal.
    • The Take. (2020). The Girly Girl Trope, Explained
    • Hanke, A. (2022). How Hollywood demonizes ultra-femininity. Medium.
    • Huizinga, M. (2022). In Defense of the Mean Girl. Cafe Hysteria.
    • Chel Writes. (2023). “I’m not like other girls”. Medium.
    • Iversen, K. (2014). How Girls Explores and Explodes the Myth of Pretty Girl Privilege. Brooklyn Mag.
    • Weiss, S. (2016). Blondes Aren't Dumb, Science Proves Once and for All. Glamour.
    • Morosini, D. (2020). The Dumb Blonde: Where Did The Stereotype Even Come From?. Refinery.
    • THIRTEEN - New York Public Media. (2018). Hedy Lamarr and Howard Hughes' Relationship. PBS.
    • ItzKeisha. (2022). Stop blaming Madison Beer for YOUR insecurities. YouTube.
    • Shanspeare. (2021). how hollywood demonizes ultra-femininity. YouTube.
    • Elle Literacy. (2021). how high school musical demonizes femininity - a Sharpay Evans deep dive. YouTube.
      • ...more
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      One Day At A TimeBy Valerie Fong