As I entered relationships and became sexually active, I would keep a tally of my partner’s good and bad behaviours. For instance, if my partner did something that made me happy, I would be more inclined to have sex because I felt he deserved it. And if he did something that upset me, I would be less inclined because I felt he didn’t deserve it.

Sex became a reward and withholding it became a punishment, creating a power imbalance in the relationship. Unknowingly, I was objectifying my body by using sex as a weapon to get what I want.

This continued throughout my relationships and into my marriage.

But then something interesting happened that changed the way I viewed sex.

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