Hi everyone! I’m Sara Schmidt with my new podcast, What’s So Amazing About Grace? Not too long ago, I felt called to spread a message. A very important message. About grace. But, what is grace? And how do you get it? The first episode is the (very brief) background overview of why this podcast came to life in the first place. So if you’re wondering, what IS so amazing about grace? Then just keep listening. 

Episode Two: How it all began, Part 2

-Thank you (over 100 downloads in the first two hours! Over 250 by 2 am on the 4th! And I just checked…443 downloads since I launched!! That’s so crazy to me!!) 

-Wrote the first episode two years ago as a way to get something down on paper to maybe help it all make sense; I am starting to see now how sharing and spreading a message can be so powerful

-My goal is to drop episodes weekly on Mondays, but this past week has been something else. There are always risks when you have a c-section, and unfortunately, there were some complications with mine. If you are someone who prays, I do ask for prayers that all of this is figured out so that I can begin to heal!

-When the “other side” sees you listening to something you are being called to do, obstacles start appearing

-Some of those obstacles include those few minor complications from my c-section, but it’s been enough to set me back and keep me unmotivated. However, as I review the comments and downloads, I find myself with more drive to continue 

-Continuing with the story from last week is important to understanding why this calling is so strong, and why I feel so passionately about it.

• Once dad was gone, there was zero time to process my grief. Zero time? That’s right. Because I didn’t want to. I had known my dad’s time was coming; but I still didn’t want to believe that it had come. I spent the next several weeks in a daze, unsure of what was happening. I was nine months pregnant and had just lost my dad. What in the world was I going to do?
• Less than four weeks later, my son was born. This turn of events was bittersweet. I was overjoyed at the thought of my little guy making his big entrance into the world…but I was conflicted in my emotions because I was still grieving-not-grieving the big exit out of the world my dad has just taken. Disbelief is the word I will use to describe those weeks. But once Hudson arrived, everything changed. I became motivated to be the best mom, wife, daughter, caretaker anyone had ever seen. I doubted my own abilities and kept telling myself I would fail, but I tried anyway. Those inner monologues can be dangerous!
• So how did I deal? I didn’t.
  • I isolated myself - I pushed everyone to at least an arm’s length away. If they weren’t close, I wouldn’t have to talk. If I didn’t have to talk, I wouldn’t have to face what I had buried. I stopped texting and calling people. I stopped going places as often as I could get away with it. I did all of the things you’re not supposed to do, and I was letting the other side win. But it was easier that way. I have a really great circle of friends. We are all super different, but we have something in common: we love Jesus. We go to different churches, we worship differently, and we do life differently. But it all comes back to our love for Jesus that really brings us together. I blocked that out for a while. A. While. Guys. I was still going through the motions, but without any of the passion, without any of the drive, without any kind of personal connection to my own savior. I still believed, I still trusted, but I was angry, hurt, and upset. I just felt so disconnected with everyone, with everything, and I didn’t know how to get it back. It was just easier to let it all slip away. I became more anxious and depressed, but I didn’t talk about it with anyone. I still really haven’t talked a