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How Lucy Liu Turned Imposter Syndrome Into Confidence
Sharing a name with a Hollywood icon led to years of comparison and self-doubt, but that didn't stop Lucy Liu from reclaiming her name and her confidence.
Welcome to the Gold Sea Podcast, featured with other great Asian American content on GoldSea.com, the Asian American Daily.
Kelli Luu (00:00)
Imagine growing up hearing your name everywhere, in movies, on TV, in Hollywood headlines, but every time someone hears it, they say the same thing. Wait, not that Lucy Liu. Today, we have Lucy Liu here on the Gold Sea Podcast. Hi everybody, my name's Kelli Luu Thank you all for being here. To start off, Miss Lucy Liu, can you please introduce yourself and tell us exactly what you do?
Lucy Liu (00:26)
Thank you so much for having me, Kelli. I'm so Yes, my name is Lucy Lu many people they said, ⁓ not the Lucy Lu, but yes, that is what I grew up with. And it was actually my biggest hindrance all my life because she is so talented. We amazing and she is an artist.
And I mean, I can't even hate on her because I love her. She is so talented as an actress, as a director, as an artist. It took me years and really decades of personal development to overcome my own fears and shadows and…
all the imposter syndrome behind having the same name as a celebrity who is already so famous and well known because let's face it, the truth is we do not have another Britney Spears, right? We just do not see another Beyonce. That is just not possible. So I always grew up with this notion of I was behind. I was behind in life. I will
Kelli Luu (01:19)
Right.
Lucy Liu (01:31)
always be less than her, I will be nobody and I'm just gonna live life in automation and wait for my dying days. Until really I delved into personal development and eventually transformed my life completely and I also became a life coach myself and now I am the podcast host of my own podcast, The Lucy Liu Show.
wrote a book co-authored in two books. And I just absolutely love what I do now is to inspire others to overcome their own imposter syndrome or limiting beliefs so that they can turn their past or hindrances into their assets like I did to live an epic life.
Kelli Luu (02:20)
That's awesome. That is so inspiring. Are you kind of targeting the Asian community mostly? Or do you feel like you can target everyone? ⁓
Lucy Liu (02:25)
I don't say that. I don't say that. I say
I help high achieving women, but of course it tends to be that I attract our Asian community, AAPI women, because they're like, wow. Because honestly, I get so excited when I see another Asian coach myself, because I want everyone to transform their life, to live the best. And I think this only happened in the
Kelli Luu (02:31)
Yeah.
Of course, yeah.
Lucy Liu (02:54)
probably the last 10 years that it became very common or I would say more common than before to have a coach. But I think growing up in the Asian community, I don't think I hear people having a coach growing up.
Kelli Luu (02:56)
Uh-huh.
Lucy Liu (03:10)
During today's age, it's like everyone needs a coach. Everyone, every coach has a coach. don't think, I don't think any coach out there do not have a coach themselves, but
Kelli Luu (03:13)
Right.
Lucy Liu (03:19)
Really, it's about decision making. It's about focusing on growing yourself.
Kelli Luu (03:24)
Right, okay, so your story begins with something a lot of people would think is kind of, you know, fun at first, but do you know why your parents chose this name?
Lucy Liu (03:34)
I actually named myself. obviously when I had my name, she was not a household name yet, right? So, ⁓ I mean, I chose the name and I love my name. And actually it is my maiden name. I love it so much. I kept it even after my marriage. But also it's a sign to remind myself that every time I shrink myself,
Kelli Luu (03:37)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
⁓ okay. Uh-huh.
Lucy Liu (03:57)
I come back to this that I want to be that more empowered version of Lucy Liu. really think back to a time when you felt like in your life you were compared to someone else and less than.
right? Or when you felt like you disappointed someone else in your life, because I sure felt like I disappointed a lot of people. When I call in to make restaurant reservations, and come on, I live in LA, and they're like, Are you the Lucy Liu I'm like, No,
Kelli Luu (04:18)
yeah.
Do you get advantages with this name? if you like book a hotel somewhere is the hotel room night like if you get upgraded immediately
Lucy Liu (04:35)
I wish, huh? Next. No,
but I can't use my name in that way. I mean, for you, if you're listening, I just want you to take away that for you, it might be a different story. Or it could be that your name is just simply too common, right? especially as Asian. I mean, a lot of us, mean, I mean, there's a hundred Charles or, you know, John Lin.
Kelli Luu (04:56)
yeah.
Or the
Lucy Liu (05:04)
It's just
sometimes our names are common or just anything you think in your life that is not up to your standard or you feel less than or you think there could be a change, there is actually a possible change to it. And that change is changing your own mindset because we can't control everything else. The only thing we can control is your own mindset.
Kelli Luu (05:28)
was there a moment where you realized that this name was going to be a huge part of your life?
Lucy Liu (05:35)
Yes, I think it comes down to a decision. So when I first started my business, I thought about a business name for three months and was just in inaction. And it wasn't until I realized that, know what, Lucy, you are coaching people on having more confidence.
So what would it take for you to be more confident? And that is really to go back and to remind myself that I am Lucy Liu The more empowered version of me would just say, you know what, that is my name. I'm not going to overthink about what people will think of me or what I would call myself because that is my name. It is my truth.
And the moment I think I stepped up and decided just to call it Lucy Liu coaching, I got my first client. I think it was really just that moment of decision to remind myself and in turn to inspire other women because when I tell them, well, look, I hired a business coach. Then my friend jumped in and hired me. ⁓ you invested in yourself. I want to invest in myself too.
Kelli Luu (06:42)
Mm-hmm.
Lucy Liu (06:42)
or
someone else will jump in and say, she's so inspiring because she took the leap. I want to take a leap too. And that is the ripple effect that I want to create in the world because I am what I would like to see in the world. And I think that is a model that I live by in life, that everything I do, my values, my priorities, my actions must align with what I do, what I say, and what
Kelli Luu (06:49)
Mm-hmm.
Lucy Liu (07:09)
I put back into the world is what I want others in this world to do and act and, you know, the way we give back to our community. So if we all have that kind of mindset to serve others instead of, it's all about me. Well, what are people going to think of me? Right. That's when it becomes scary. Or even just simply when we go to
Kelli Luu (07:22)
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Lucy Liu (07:38)
think of more common things like when you are going to a networking event, people get scared because they're thinking about what other people will think of me.
When I started my podcast, I had an audience of zero. Okay, no one's gonna listen to me. But if I keep on thinking that way, nothing would ever happen. But for me, I shifted my mindset to, you know what, it doesn't matter. Even if I change the life of one listener, I have done myself well. I have made a contribution to this world. Right? And think about it. Even if you get
Kelli Luu (07:51)
Okay. ⁓
You're right, exactly.
Mm-hmm.
Lucy Liu (08:17)
20 listeners. Do you know how hard it is to get 20 people in a room in a classroom?
Kelli Luu (08:21)
It's right, yeah,
a lot of people count their numbers on social media nowadays, 20 people, that's a lot.
Lucy Liu (08:29)
Absolutely.
Kelli Luu (08:30)
So when you constantly hear this, you're not that Lucy Liu or you're not the Lucy Liu how does that make you feel now?
Lucy Liu (08:42)
It may, it's fun for me now. It used to bother me. So I think that comes back to what, what I talk about the mindset shift, right? Other people are saying the same thing to us, but because our mindset have shifted, I think nowadays I just make a joke out of it or laugh about it. And it could be an icebreaker because I can easily talk to anyone now.
Kelli Luu (08:45)
Okay. Really? Okay.
Right.
Okay. Right, okay.
Lucy Liu (09:08)
You I started with zero followers and nobody knows me and people think, who am I? But because I shifted the mindset,
then I'm able to use my story. And now I'm on a podcast speaking about it. And when I do, I've heard so many positive feedback from it and people's like, I love your story. I love your name. That's so fun. Like I get to inspire people to think about their own limiting beliefs. And for you, it might be not again about your name, but just make a list of your
Kelli Luu (09:26)
Right.
Yeah.
Lucy Liu (09:44)
limiting beliefs. definitely made a list of all my limiting beliefs and I'm constantly shattering all of them. ⁓ My English isn't good enough. That was one of So we can choose to critique ourselves so hard, right? We are our biggest criticizer. I could say I could
Kelli Luu (09:53)
Okay.
Yeah.
Lucy Liu (10:06)
get straight A's in English class, but then I can at the same time think my English isn't still good enough, it's not fluent enough, I'm not charismatic enough. Even if we don't have perfect grammar or perfect spoken English, we're still
able to inspire others. We're still able to do great work. We're still able to to use our stories to change someone else's life. And I think that is all it matters to me. Like that brings me joy, right?
Kelli Luu (10:34)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Lucy Liu (10:38)
just a couple minutes from talking with me if I bring them joy, if I bring them light? That makes my day.
Kelli Luu (10:47)
Oh, that's awesome. So let's get right to you personally. you said that you were in LA right now. Are you from here or where were you born? Okay.
Lucy Liu (10:57)
was born in China and I lived
actually a long time in Taiwan. I traveled probably through most of the countries in Asia. I'm home based in Los Angeles.
Kelli Luu (11:03)
Okay.
Nice. what was your childhood growing up? I know you said you chose your name. When did that happen? When was Lucy Liu made? ⁓
Lucy Liu (11:15)
it was made in China. So, ⁓
back in the days we had English class and I was like, we, we, we could pick our names and Lucy was just short and easy and I just picked it and loved it. And so, yeah, it wasn't until we immigrated to the U S and I saw her movie and I was like, ⁓ no.
Kelli Luu (11:27)
Wow, okay.
stuck with it.
Mmm.
That's so funny.
Lucy Liu (11:44)
I think I was 11 when I first saw that movie and I was like, ⁓ no, I'm behind. And so ever since that time, I felt so behind in life. And I think that was pretty much my childhood. Like I felt like she was better than me. Everyone else was better than me.
even though I had straight As, a perfect ⁓ GPA, I still just, it never felt enough. I think that was the theme of my childhood is I wasn't good enough. And with that mindset, I actually dropped myself out of high school with straight As. So after sophomore year,
Kelli Luu (12:24)
Really?
Lucy Liu (12:26)
I dropped out of high school with straight A's and I took a proficiency test, what we call a proficiency test in California. And with this tiny little piece of certificate, you're able to go to the community college. So that's what I did for two years before I transferred to UCLA. So that way I felt like I could speed up this process of life. So I wasn't so behind. So I was two years ahead of my.
Kelli Luu (12:29)
Wow.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Wow.
Lucy Liu (12:52)
peers, my classmates getting into UCLA. And let me tell you, it doesn't matter what you do. If you feel you're not enough, you always feel that way. I was always chasing the shiny object. I was always feeling not good enough. And it wasn't until probably a couple years of personal development, I really learned that enough is
also a decision. It's not an amount, it's not about timing, it's not about how much money you make, it's not about where you came from, it's not about what you did or what background you came from. It's really your decision.
Kelli Luu (13:21)
Right.
Lucy Liu (13:36)
Like I hear so many stories like, ⁓ I'm the only Asian in my whole community. There was racism. Like I grew up like, you know, like so many problems. Let me, I'm like, let me tell you girl, I came from, I grew up in a Chinese community. Our school was like 80 % Asian. And guess what? There was still racism because even if you're from China, we're broken up into North and Southern, you know.
Kelli Luu (13:56)
Wow. Yeah. ⁓
Lucy Liu (14:04)
So it's everywhere. Your problem is not really your problem. It could be what propels you forward if you use it in the right way. Right? So when I first started speaking, it felt like, ⁓ well, you don't really see many Asian faces out there.
Kelli Luu (14:07)
Wow.
Of course, ⁓
Lucy Liu (14:29)
So you
can say or think or feel like, well, you're Asian. You can't You're not going to be chosen. Whereas I shift my mindset and go, hey, I'm the only Asian. So if they want diversity, they're going to pick me. I'm their best choice.
Kelli Luu (14:44)
⁓
That's a really good way to look at it. ⁓
Lucy Liu (14:48)
Right? So again, that's your decision
on how you want to live your life and what you want to think about it and how you want to feel. You get to make all of that decisions. And that's why I kind of named my book 21 decisions to it's called confident and epic 21 decisions to living your best life. Because I always get asked this question like Lucy.
Kelli Luu (15:09)
Aww.
Lucy Liu (15:13)
What got you here? Right? Like, Lucy, how? Why are you so positive? Like people ask me and I'm like, well, it's decision making. Are you making decisions that your future self will thank you for? Or is this decision propelling you forward or helping you? Or is this decision helping you being positive? So it's all about decisions.
Kelli Luu (15:34)
Love that. That's a good name for the book then. So when, you immigrated
When you came here, because I know there was no Asians in movies back then, like in the States, like you rarely would see it, and Lucy Liu was one of the really big ones, she was huge. So when you saw her, how did that shape Asian representation for you growing up?
Lucy Liu (15:54)
See, now that you brought up that point, that is such a good point. She is so amazing for representing Asians way back in the days, as we talked about, because she was like the only representation, right? But when you are stuck in your own spiral, you don't think about that. You're just thinking about the negatives.
Kelli Luu (16:05)
Right.
Yeah.
Lucy Liu (16:16)
So for me, it was just like, ⁓ my life is over. I'm doomed. My life sucks. And that is exactly what I'm talking about. When we are given circumstances in life, something happens. You know what? You have to look at it. Is it a fact? Yes, it is a fact. You got laid off. OK. Yes, it is a fact.
you know, something happened to you in your life, but don't give it a negative or positive sign in front of it yet. Really to just sit back and think about, well, I choose to make a good or positive outcome out of this situation, right? Take away the feelings, take away the thoughts you have now and neutralize it.
Kelli Luu (17:05)
So how old were you do you think when you feel like you changed that mindset were you were you still younger like were you in college Okay
Lucy Liu (17:12)
I would say ⁓ in my 20s is really when I started feeling stressed out.
My health was deteriorating. pretty much I got into personal development when I started having breathing problems. There goes another story. So I actually felt like I had trouble breathing. I had two gasp for air and my chest.
or constantly in pain. And when I went to the doctors to get checkup, there was actually nothing wrong with me. And I was like, that's impossible. I feel like I'm dying. It was like physical symptoms that were caused by stress. And I think that's when I first learned in my 20s that stress can actually cause physical pain. And I think we, especially as Asians,
Kelli Luu (17:49)
Yeah.
Yes.
Lucy Liu (17:58)
growing up in school, we were never taught about mental health. We taught about, Like, I wish I, you know, I learned that in school. I wish I got an A in that so I know how to deal with life. But, and I think that's such a common theme for so many Asian, especially women, we graduate and we realize this is not.
Kelli Luu (18:03)
No, that's not a thing.
You
Lucy Liu (18:23)
This is not what we wanted to do. I studied economics. I interned at the most prestigious office, like financial office in our area where all my seniorities, all my managers, they were making millions of dollars and like the corner office, right? The suite, the view, everything you want in life that when you were in college, you're like, I want that. I want that. Yeah. You see it.
Kelli Luu (18:41)
Hmm.
Lucy Liu (18:49)
You can have it too, but I was unhappy. And obviously I left because it was not aligned with my life. And I know so many Asian people do the same. They go through school and they learn so much ⁓ career wise, they advance and it hits a point that it's not aligned with your life. And that's when you realize all this stress, all this you did and…
Kelli Luu (18:59)
Yeah, they do. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Lucy Liu (19:14)
Again, you're faced with a decision, do you just do that for the rest of your life and live your life miserably or do you do something about it? And for me, that was just a very quick decision that I just gave up everything I did. I think I've never worked a night of five after that.
Kelli Luu (19:29)
wow, that's amazing.
When you meet people that have similarities to your story, what would you suggest to them is that first step? What would you say Because I know it's really hard, people can listen to someone and they could hear the information, they could take it in, but it's really hard to actually make that.
the action, that first step. What advice would you give to people as that first step?
Lucy Liu (19:49)
Mm.
I love that question.
Love that question because again, it comes down to a decision. But before you're able to make that decision, I believe everything starts with awareness. I believe all our problems can be solved, but we have to be aware of our problems first. everything starts with awareness. You have to slow down and pause and reflect.
Kelli Luu (19:57)
Exactly.
Mm-hmm.
Lucy Liu (20:19)
Are you aware of your limiting beliefs? Because I feel a lot of people do not see that. And that's why with the help of a coach, it's just faster because you get that bird's eye view. My favorite is when I coach other coaches because they catch themselves so quickly. They get that awareness even faster. If I say something, they'll be like, my goodness.
Kelli Luu (20:32)
Mm-hmm.
Lucy Liu (20:46)
I can see that in my clients, but I did not see it in myself. Like it's so easy for us to say, you know, like it's kind of like when your friend is doing something wrong, you see it and then you're like telling them. But when you do the same thing, you don't realize it. Like you're shrinking yourself. You don't realize it. You're saying some really mean things to yourself and you might not realize like
Kelli Luu (21:03)
Yes, ⁓
Lucy Liu (21:13)
Some of the things we say to ourselves, we would never say that to other people. Guess that's too mean.
Kelli Luu (21:17)
Right, other people, yeah. Right,
so why are we so comfortable saying it to ourselves? ⁓
Lucy Liu (21:26)
So I think once
we have that awareness, for example, my clients would say, you know, after working with you, Lucy, like if I have certain thoughts, I'll be like, wait, wait, wait, hold on. No, Lucy would say like, no, like they would have more awareness on catching their own thoughts when you realize that's just a limiting belief. That's just you, you know, self shaming yourself. That's just you.
Kelli Luu (21:29)
Okay.
Uh-huh.
Lucy Liu (21:52)
criticizing yourself too hard and making a big deal out of nothing, pretty much. And I think it's these aha moments that adds up to an entire life transformation. we, a lot of people think, well, where I'm waiting, like that was me for certain points of my life. I was like waiting for that epiphany moment in my life.
You know, and even after I became a coach, I started speaking my story, even though I got good feedback. When I come, if if I were to compare myself to other coaches, right, I'm still behind. So why would I do that?
Kelli Luu (22:30)
Right.
When you compare yourself to other coaches, is that kind of, that's not questioning yourself really, right? No, like. ⁓
Lucy Liu (22:42)
No,
I compare myself. I still do now, but in a can excited when I see other women's accomplishments. like, my goodness, I'm so happy for you. I'm so excited for you. Like I generally root for other people. Like I want everyone to succeed. I want everyone's dreams to come true. And I think because of that, like sometimes
Kelli Luu (22:45)
Right. Okay.
Right.
Lucy Liu (23:06)
my dreams come true. like, sometimes things happen in life and people like, Lucy, like, what did you do to manifest this life? I'm like, right? It's it's that energy. It's that vibration, because that's what I would like to see in the world. Mm hmm. Because I want everyone's dream to manifest. A lot of my dreams manifest.
Kelli Luu (23:20)
Definitely.
Right.
That's just, that's really how it works most of the time, you know? ⁓ So, again, I want to swivel back a little bit to just your personal life a little. you said you're married, right? Do you guys have kids? Like, what is, wow. ⁓ my gosh.
Lucy Liu (23:42)
Yes, my daughter's She's taller than me.
Kelli Luu (23:46)
how are you raising her in this kind of day and age where Asian representation is a little bit more present?
Lucy Liu (23:57)
Mm.
Kelli Luu (23:57)
Do you see a lot of differences from when you were a child and now raising your own?
Lucy Liu (24:03)
Definitely, I can say I am very, very proud of her. She is my bestie. We are glued together 24-7. Yes, she gets straight A pluses, but I am not a tiger mom. I do not overlook her homework at all. She comes home, she does her own thing, and she just happened to want straight A's.
Kelli Luu (24:13)
Aww.
Lucy Liu (24:28)
I'm always like the chill mom, let's take a break. Let's go take a walk. Let's like, you know, I'm like, I don't care if you get good grades. I mean, I am proud of you for trying. I'm proud of you for working hard, but I'm not proud of you because you have straight A's. But I would be more proud of you if you are also an example of what I want to see in the world. example, ⁓
Kelli Luu (24:36)
huh.
Lucy Liu (24:53)
Back in the days, her bestie, her own little bestie from school, moved from another school and she stepped in to be friends with her and they became really good friends and her friend's mom came to me and said, you know, thank you because my daughter became friends with your daughter, she became so much more confident. Like, that makes me proud. That.
Kelli Luu (25:13)
Aww, that's amazing.
Lucy Liu (25:18)
That is my flex. It's not about her grade. It's not about what she wants to do when she grow up. we were always the parents like, you know, we're going to support you no matter what you want to do. Like she wants to she's an art school right now. And you know what we say about starving artists. But I'm like, I don't care. You can do whatever you want in life as long as you're happy. So we were always that kind of parents, like very chill, laid back parents, because
Kelli Luu (25:32)
Right.
Nice.
Lucy Liu (25:45)
I want her to be confident. I want her to to have joy in her life. And I'm just the type of person now that that really preaches that's more important than just what our traditional Asian community have taught our kids to be the go getter, ⁓ to be the breadwinner. And I think that's kind of different than what
Kelli Luu (25:58)
Hmm.
Right.
Right.
Lucy Liu (26:12)
when we were growing up.
I get other people who are saying, well, then you're lucky, Lucy, or your daughter's lucky to have you. But at the same time, I went through that rebellious stage to, can you even imagine how upset my parents were when I dropped myself out with straight A's? Right?
Kelli Luu (26:27)
Yeah.
Lucy Liu (26:32)
But it's not about the process, it's really about the result and working together, talking to our parents. I mean, even for me, now that I am doing this work, it's still hard. It's not easy to talk to our parents, but it's a learning process.
Kelli Luu (26:49)
Yeah.
thank you so much for even taking the time to be here and talk to us about that. I have one more question for you. What would you say if you met the real
The real Lucy Liu, the actress. ⁓
Lucy Liu (27:05)
my goodness. ⁓
That is actually, I'm going to put it out there. That is actually my next dream eat brunch with her and meet her and talk to her and tell her how amazing she is, how remarkable she is and how much impact she has on our community and my life because my entire being now is, is, you know,
affected by her existence and that's a beautiful existence and I think I would actually be very quiet because I would be like, the introvert, the introvert Lucy starstruck. Yes, I would definitely and that goes. Yeah, that goes another long way to say, you know, even though I'm speaking right now, I'm a speaker, but I am introverted. I love spending time just, you know, hiding at home.
Kelli Luu (27:32)
It is.
bit starstruck.
Lucy Liu (27:58)
and, that doesn't mean we don't have the, the ability to come out and make a difference. And I think I hope that inspires some listener to reach higher potential and do great things themselves. So yeah, thank you, Kelli, so much for putting my next dream out there. I want to meet her in person. I want to, I
Kelli Luu (28:07)
Yeah.
⁓ of course.
Well, thank you so much Lucy It's been a pleasure talking to you I've definitely taken a lot of insight and wisdom from this and I hope a lot of our viewers have too
Thanks
everyone for joining in and listening to us today at the Gold Sea Podcast. I'm Kelli Luu This is Lucy Liu We'll tune in next time. Thank you guys.
Lucy Liu (28:40)
Thank you.
Thanks for joining us on the Gold Sea Podcast. For more great Asian American podcasts and other Asian American content, join us at goldsea.com. You can also enjoy our podcasts on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. You can follow us on Instagram at Gold Sea Media and on our YouTube channel, Gold Sea Media. Until next time.
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By VoxcaliSharing a name with a Hollywood icon led to years of comparison and self-doubt, but that didn't stop Lucy Liu from reclaiming her name and her confidence.
Welcome to the Gold Sea Podcast, featured with other great Asian American content on GoldSea.com, the Asian American Daily.
Kelli Luu (00:00)
Imagine growing up hearing your name everywhere, in movies, on TV, in Hollywood headlines, but every time someone hears it, they say the same thing. Wait, not that Lucy Liu. Today, we have Lucy Liu here on the Gold Sea Podcast. Hi everybody, my name's Kelli Luu Thank you all for being here. To start off, Miss Lucy Liu, can you please introduce yourself and tell us exactly what you do?
Lucy Liu (00:26)
Thank you so much for having me, Kelli. I'm so Yes, my name is Lucy Lu many people they said, ⁓ not the Lucy Lu, but yes, that is what I grew up with. And it was actually my biggest hindrance all my life because she is so talented. We amazing and she is an artist.
And I mean, I can't even hate on her because I love her. She is so talented as an actress, as a director, as an artist. It took me years and really decades of personal development to overcome my own fears and shadows and…
all the imposter syndrome behind having the same name as a celebrity who is already so famous and well known because let's face it, the truth is we do not have another Britney Spears, right? We just do not see another Beyonce. That is just not possible. So I always grew up with this notion of I was behind. I was behind in life. I will
Kelli Luu (01:19)
Right.
Lucy Liu (01:31)
always be less than her, I will be nobody and I'm just gonna live life in automation and wait for my dying days. Until really I delved into personal development and eventually transformed my life completely and I also became a life coach myself and now I am the podcast host of my own podcast, The Lucy Liu Show.
wrote a book co-authored in two books. And I just absolutely love what I do now is to inspire others to overcome their own imposter syndrome or limiting beliefs so that they can turn their past or hindrances into their assets like I did to live an epic life.
Kelli Luu (02:20)
That's awesome. That is so inspiring. Are you kind of targeting the Asian community mostly? Or do you feel like you can target everyone? ⁓
Lucy Liu (02:25)
I don't say that. I don't say that. I say
I help high achieving women, but of course it tends to be that I attract our Asian community, AAPI women, because they're like, wow. Because honestly, I get so excited when I see another Asian coach myself, because I want everyone to transform their life, to live the best. And I think this only happened in the
Kelli Luu (02:31)
Yeah.
Of course, yeah.
Lucy Liu (02:54)
probably the last 10 years that it became very common or I would say more common than before to have a coach. But I think growing up in the Asian community, I don't think I hear people having a coach growing up.
Kelli Luu (02:56)
Uh-huh.
Lucy Liu (03:10)
During today's age, it's like everyone needs a coach. Everyone, every coach has a coach. don't think, I don't think any coach out there do not have a coach themselves, but
Kelli Luu (03:13)
Right.
Lucy Liu (03:19)
Really, it's about decision making. It's about focusing on growing yourself.
Kelli Luu (03:24)
Right, okay, so your story begins with something a lot of people would think is kind of, you know, fun at first, but do you know why your parents chose this name?
Lucy Liu (03:34)
I actually named myself. obviously when I had my name, she was not a household name yet, right? So, ⁓ I mean, I chose the name and I love my name. And actually it is my maiden name. I love it so much. I kept it even after my marriage. But also it's a sign to remind myself that every time I shrink myself,
Kelli Luu (03:37)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
⁓ okay. Uh-huh.
Lucy Liu (03:57)
I come back to this that I want to be that more empowered version of Lucy Liu. really think back to a time when you felt like in your life you were compared to someone else and less than.
right? Or when you felt like you disappointed someone else in your life, because I sure felt like I disappointed a lot of people. When I call in to make restaurant reservations, and come on, I live in LA, and they're like, Are you the Lucy Liu I'm like, No,
Kelli Luu (04:18)
yeah.
Do you get advantages with this name? if you like book a hotel somewhere is the hotel room night like if you get upgraded immediately
Lucy Liu (04:35)
I wish, huh? Next. No,
but I can't use my name in that way. I mean, for you, if you're listening, I just want you to take away that for you, it might be a different story. Or it could be that your name is just simply too common, right? especially as Asian. I mean, a lot of us, mean, I mean, there's a hundred Charles or, you know, John Lin.
Kelli Luu (04:56)
yeah.
Or the
Lucy Liu (05:04)
It's just
sometimes our names are common or just anything you think in your life that is not up to your standard or you feel less than or you think there could be a change, there is actually a possible change to it. And that change is changing your own mindset because we can't control everything else. The only thing we can control is your own mindset.
Kelli Luu (05:28)
was there a moment where you realized that this name was going to be a huge part of your life?
Lucy Liu (05:35)
Yes, I think it comes down to a decision. So when I first started my business, I thought about a business name for three months and was just in inaction. And it wasn't until I realized that, know what, Lucy, you are coaching people on having more confidence.
So what would it take for you to be more confident? And that is really to go back and to remind myself that I am Lucy Liu The more empowered version of me would just say, you know what, that is my name. I'm not going to overthink about what people will think of me or what I would call myself because that is my name. It is my truth.
And the moment I think I stepped up and decided just to call it Lucy Liu coaching, I got my first client. I think it was really just that moment of decision to remind myself and in turn to inspire other women because when I tell them, well, look, I hired a business coach. Then my friend jumped in and hired me. ⁓ you invested in yourself. I want to invest in myself too.
Kelli Luu (06:42)
Mm-hmm.
Lucy Liu (06:42)
or
someone else will jump in and say, she's so inspiring because she took the leap. I want to take a leap too. And that is the ripple effect that I want to create in the world because I am what I would like to see in the world. And I think that is a model that I live by in life, that everything I do, my values, my priorities, my actions must align with what I do, what I say, and what
Kelli Luu (06:49)
Mm-hmm.
Lucy Liu (07:09)
I put back into the world is what I want others in this world to do and act and, you know, the way we give back to our community. So if we all have that kind of mindset to serve others instead of, it's all about me. Well, what are people going to think of me? Right. That's when it becomes scary. Or even just simply when we go to
Kelli Luu (07:22)
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Lucy Liu (07:38)
think of more common things like when you are going to a networking event, people get scared because they're thinking about what other people will think of me.
When I started my podcast, I had an audience of zero. Okay, no one's gonna listen to me. But if I keep on thinking that way, nothing would ever happen. But for me, I shifted my mindset to, you know what, it doesn't matter. Even if I change the life of one listener, I have done myself well. I have made a contribution to this world. Right? And think about it. Even if you get
Kelli Luu (07:51)
Okay. ⁓
You're right, exactly.
Mm-hmm.
Lucy Liu (08:17)
20 listeners. Do you know how hard it is to get 20 people in a room in a classroom?
Kelli Luu (08:21)
It's right, yeah,
a lot of people count their numbers on social media nowadays, 20 people, that's a lot.
Lucy Liu (08:29)
Absolutely.
Kelli Luu (08:30)
So when you constantly hear this, you're not that Lucy Liu or you're not the Lucy Liu how does that make you feel now?
Lucy Liu (08:42)
It may, it's fun for me now. It used to bother me. So I think that comes back to what, what I talk about the mindset shift, right? Other people are saying the same thing to us, but because our mindset have shifted, I think nowadays I just make a joke out of it or laugh about it. And it could be an icebreaker because I can easily talk to anyone now.
Kelli Luu (08:45)
Okay. Really? Okay.
Right.
Okay. Right, okay.
Lucy Liu (09:08)
You I started with zero followers and nobody knows me and people think, who am I? But because I shifted the mindset,
then I'm able to use my story. And now I'm on a podcast speaking about it. And when I do, I've heard so many positive feedback from it and people's like, I love your story. I love your name. That's so fun. Like I get to inspire people to think about their own limiting beliefs. And for you, it might be not again about your name, but just make a list of your
Kelli Luu (09:26)
Right.
Yeah.
Lucy Liu (09:44)
limiting beliefs. definitely made a list of all my limiting beliefs and I'm constantly shattering all of them. ⁓ My English isn't good enough. That was one of So we can choose to critique ourselves so hard, right? We are our biggest criticizer. I could say I could
Kelli Luu (09:53)
Okay.
Yeah.
Lucy Liu (10:06)
get straight A's in English class, but then I can at the same time think my English isn't still good enough, it's not fluent enough, I'm not charismatic enough. Even if we don't have perfect grammar or perfect spoken English, we're still
able to inspire others. We're still able to do great work. We're still able to to use our stories to change someone else's life. And I think that is all it matters to me. Like that brings me joy, right?
Kelli Luu (10:34)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Lucy Liu (10:38)
just a couple minutes from talking with me if I bring them joy, if I bring them light? That makes my day.
Kelli Luu (10:47)
Oh, that's awesome. So let's get right to you personally. you said that you were in LA right now. Are you from here or where were you born? Okay.
Lucy Liu (10:57)
was born in China and I lived
actually a long time in Taiwan. I traveled probably through most of the countries in Asia. I'm home based in Los Angeles.
Kelli Luu (11:03)
Okay.
Nice. what was your childhood growing up? I know you said you chose your name. When did that happen? When was Lucy Liu made? ⁓
Lucy Liu (11:15)
it was made in China. So, ⁓
back in the days we had English class and I was like, we, we, we could pick our names and Lucy was just short and easy and I just picked it and loved it. And so, yeah, it wasn't until we immigrated to the U S and I saw her movie and I was like, ⁓ no.
Kelli Luu (11:27)
Wow, okay.
stuck with it.
Mmm.
That's so funny.
Lucy Liu (11:44)
I think I was 11 when I first saw that movie and I was like, ⁓ no, I'm behind. And so ever since that time, I felt so behind in life. And I think that was pretty much my childhood. Like I felt like she was better than me. Everyone else was better than me.
even though I had straight As, a perfect ⁓ GPA, I still just, it never felt enough. I think that was the theme of my childhood is I wasn't good enough. And with that mindset, I actually dropped myself out of high school with straight As. So after sophomore year,
Kelli Luu (12:24)
Really?
Lucy Liu (12:26)
I dropped out of high school with straight A's and I took a proficiency test, what we call a proficiency test in California. And with this tiny little piece of certificate, you're able to go to the community college. So that's what I did for two years before I transferred to UCLA. So that way I felt like I could speed up this process of life. So I wasn't so behind. So I was two years ahead of my.
Kelli Luu (12:29)
Wow.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Wow.
Lucy Liu (12:52)
peers, my classmates getting into UCLA. And let me tell you, it doesn't matter what you do. If you feel you're not enough, you always feel that way. I was always chasing the shiny object. I was always feeling not good enough. And it wasn't until probably a couple years of personal development, I really learned that enough is
also a decision. It's not an amount, it's not about timing, it's not about how much money you make, it's not about where you came from, it's not about what you did or what background you came from. It's really your decision.
Kelli Luu (13:21)
Right.
Lucy Liu (13:36)
Like I hear so many stories like, ⁓ I'm the only Asian in my whole community. There was racism. Like I grew up like, you know, like so many problems. Let me, I'm like, let me tell you girl, I came from, I grew up in a Chinese community. Our school was like 80 % Asian. And guess what? There was still racism because even if you're from China, we're broken up into North and Southern, you know.
Kelli Luu (13:56)
Wow. Yeah. ⁓
Lucy Liu (14:04)
So it's everywhere. Your problem is not really your problem. It could be what propels you forward if you use it in the right way. Right? So when I first started speaking, it felt like, ⁓ well, you don't really see many Asian faces out there.
Kelli Luu (14:07)
Wow.
Of course, ⁓
Lucy Liu (14:29)
So you
can say or think or feel like, well, you're Asian. You can't You're not going to be chosen. Whereas I shift my mindset and go, hey, I'm the only Asian. So if they want diversity, they're going to pick me. I'm their best choice.
Kelli Luu (14:44)
⁓
That's a really good way to look at it. ⁓
Lucy Liu (14:48)
Right? So again, that's your decision
on how you want to live your life and what you want to think about it and how you want to feel. You get to make all of that decisions. And that's why I kind of named my book 21 decisions to it's called confident and epic 21 decisions to living your best life. Because I always get asked this question like Lucy.
Kelli Luu (15:09)
Aww.
Lucy Liu (15:13)
What got you here? Right? Like, Lucy, how? Why are you so positive? Like people ask me and I'm like, well, it's decision making. Are you making decisions that your future self will thank you for? Or is this decision propelling you forward or helping you? Or is this decision helping you being positive? So it's all about decisions.
Kelli Luu (15:34)
Love that. That's a good name for the book then. So when, you immigrated
When you came here, because I know there was no Asians in movies back then, like in the States, like you rarely would see it, and Lucy Liu was one of the really big ones, she was huge. So when you saw her, how did that shape Asian representation for you growing up?
Lucy Liu (15:54)
See, now that you brought up that point, that is such a good point. She is so amazing for representing Asians way back in the days, as we talked about, because she was like the only representation, right? But when you are stuck in your own spiral, you don't think about that. You're just thinking about the negatives.
Kelli Luu (16:05)
Right.
Yeah.
Lucy Liu (16:16)
So for me, it was just like, ⁓ my life is over. I'm doomed. My life sucks. And that is exactly what I'm talking about. When we are given circumstances in life, something happens. You know what? You have to look at it. Is it a fact? Yes, it is a fact. You got laid off. OK. Yes, it is a fact.
you know, something happened to you in your life, but don't give it a negative or positive sign in front of it yet. Really to just sit back and think about, well, I choose to make a good or positive outcome out of this situation, right? Take away the feelings, take away the thoughts you have now and neutralize it.
Kelli Luu (17:05)
So how old were you do you think when you feel like you changed that mindset were you were you still younger like were you in college Okay
Lucy Liu (17:12)
I would say ⁓ in my 20s is really when I started feeling stressed out.
My health was deteriorating. pretty much I got into personal development when I started having breathing problems. There goes another story. So I actually felt like I had trouble breathing. I had two gasp for air and my chest.
or constantly in pain. And when I went to the doctors to get checkup, there was actually nothing wrong with me. And I was like, that's impossible. I feel like I'm dying. It was like physical symptoms that were caused by stress. And I think that's when I first learned in my 20s that stress can actually cause physical pain. And I think we, especially as Asians,
Kelli Luu (17:49)
Yeah.
Yes.
Lucy Liu (17:58)
growing up in school, we were never taught about mental health. We taught about, Like, I wish I, you know, I learned that in school. I wish I got an A in that so I know how to deal with life. But, and I think that's such a common theme for so many Asian, especially women, we graduate and we realize this is not.
Kelli Luu (18:03)
No, that's not a thing.
You
Lucy Liu (18:23)
This is not what we wanted to do. I studied economics. I interned at the most prestigious office, like financial office in our area where all my seniorities, all my managers, they were making millions of dollars and like the corner office, right? The suite, the view, everything you want in life that when you were in college, you're like, I want that. I want that. Yeah. You see it.
Kelli Luu (18:41)
Hmm.
Lucy Liu (18:49)
You can have it too, but I was unhappy. And obviously I left because it was not aligned with my life. And I know so many Asian people do the same. They go through school and they learn so much ⁓ career wise, they advance and it hits a point that it's not aligned with your life. And that's when you realize all this stress, all this you did and…
Kelli Luu (18:59)
Yeah, they do. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Lucy Liu (19:14)
Again, you're faced with a decision, do you just do that for the rest of your life and live your life miserably or do you do something about it? And for me, that was just a very quick decision that I just gave up everything I did. I think I've never worked a night of five after that.
Kelli Luu (19:29)
wow, that's amazing.
When you meet people that have similarities to your story, what would you suggest to them is that first step? What would you say Because I know it's really hard, people can listen to someone and they could hear the information, they could take it in, but it's really hard to actually make that.
the action, that first step. What advice would you give to people as that first step?
Lucy Liu (19:49)
Mm.
I love that question.
Love that question because again, it comes down to a decision. But before you're able to make that decision, I believe everything starts with awareness. I believe all our problems can be solved, but we have to be aware of our problems first. everything starts with awareness. You have to slow down and pause and reflect.
Kelli Luu (19:57)
Exactly.
Mm-hmm.
Lucy Liu (20:19)
Are you aware of your limiting beliefs? Because I feel a lot of people do not see that. And that's why with the help of a coach, it's just faster because you get that bird's eye view. My favorite is when I coach other coaches because they catch themselves so quickly. They get that awareness even faster. If I say something, they'll be like, my goodness.
Kelli Luu (20:32)
Mm-hmm.
Lucy Liu (20:46)
I can see that in my clients, but I did not see it in myself. Like it's so easy for us to say, you know, like it's kind of like when your friend is doing something wrong, you see it and then you're like telling them. But when you do the same thing, you don't realize it. Like you're shrinking yourself. You don't realize it. You're saying some really mean things to yourself and you might not realize like
Kelli Luu (21:03)
Yes, ⁓
Lucy Liu (21:13)
Some of the things we say to ourselves, we would never say that to other people. Guess that's too mean.
Kelli Luu (21:17)
Right, other people, yeah. Right,
so why are we so comfortable saying it to ourselves? ⁓
Lucy Liu (21:26)
So I think once
we have that awareness, for example, my clients would say, you know, after working with you, Lucy, like if I have certain thoughts, I'll be like, wait, wait, wait, hold on. No, Lucy would say like, no, like they would have more awareness on catching their own thoughts when you realize that's just a limiting belief. That's just you, you know, self shaming yourself. That's just you.
Kelli Luu (21:29)
Okay.
Uh-huh.
Lucy Liu (21:52)
criticizing yourself too hard and making a big deal out of nothing, pretty much. And I think it's these aha moments that adds up to an entire life transformation. we, a lot of people think, well, where I'm waiting, like that was me for certain points of my life. I was like waiting for that epiphany moment in my life.
You know, and even after I became a coach, I started speaking my story, even though I got good feedback. When I come, if if I were to compare myself to other coaches, right, I'm still behind. So why would I do that?
Kelli Luu (22:30)
Right.
When you compare yourself to other coaches, is that kind of, that's not questioning yourself really, right? No, like. ⁓
Lucy Liu (22:42)
No,
I compare myself. I still do now, but in a can excited when I see other women's accomplishments. like, my goodness, I'm so happy for you. I'm so excited for you. Like I generally root for other people. Like I want everyone to succeed. I want everyone's dreams to come true. And I think because of that, like sometimes
Kelli Luu (22:45)
Right. Okay.
Right.
Lucy Liu (23:06)
my dreams come true. like, sometimes things happen in life and people like, Lucy, like, what did you do to manifest this life? I'm like, right? It's it's that energy. It's that vibration, because that's what I would like to see in the world. Mm hmm. Because I want everyone's dream to manifest. A lot of my dreams manifest.
Kelli Luu (23:20)
Definitely.
Right.
That's just, that's really how it works most of the time, you know? ⁓ So, again, I want to swivel back a little bit to just your personal life a little. you said you're married, right? Do you guys have kids? Like, what is, wow. ⁓ my gosh.
Lucy Liu (23:42)
Yes, my daughter's She's taller than me.
Kelli Luu (23:46)
how are you raising her in this kind of day and age where Asian representation is a little bit more present?
Lucy Liu (23:57)
Mm.
Kelli Luu (23:57)
Do you see a lot of differences from when you were a child and now raising your own?
Lucy Liu (24:03)
Definitely, I can say I am very, very proud of her. She is my bestie. We are glued together 24-7. Yes, she gets straight A pluses, but I am not a tiger mom. I do not overlook her homework at all. She comes home, she does her own thing, and she just happened to want straight A's.
Kelli Luu (24:13)
Aww.
Lucy Liu (24:28)
I'm always like the chill mom, let's take a break. Let's go take a walk. Let's like, you know, I'm like, I don't care if you get good grades. I mean, I am proud of you for trying. I'm proud of you for working hard, but I'm not proud of you because you have straight A's. But I would be more proud of you if you are also an example of what I want to see in the world. example, ⁓
Kelli Luu (24:36)
huh.
Lucy Liu (24:53)
Back in the days, her bestie, her own little bestie from school, moved from another school and she stepped in to be friends with her and they became really good friends and her friend's mom came to me and said, you know, thank you because my daughter became friends with your daughter, she became so much more confident. Like, that makes me proud. That.
Kelli Luu (25:13)
Aww, that's amazing.
Lucy Liu (25:18)
That is my flex. It's not about her grade. It's not about what she wants to do when she grow up. we were always the parents like, you know, we're going to support you no matter what you want to do. Like she wants to she's an art school right now. And you know what we say about starving artists. But I'm like, I don't care. You can do whatever you want in life as long as you're happy. So we were always that kind of parents, like very chill, laid back parents, because
Kelli Luu (25:32)
Right.
Nice.
Lucy Liu (25:45)
I want her to be confident. I want her to to have joy in her life. And I'm just the type of person now that that really preaches that's more important than just what our traditional Asian community have taught our kids to be the go getter, ⁓ to be the breadwinner. And I think that's kind of different than what
Kelli Luu (25:58)
Hmm.
Right.
Right.
Lucy Liu (26:12)
when we were growing up.
I get other people who are saying, well, then you're lucky, Lucy, or your daughter's lucky to have you. But at the same time, I went through that rebellious stage to, can you even imagine how upset my parents were when I dropped myself out with straight A's? Right?
Kelli Luu (26:27)
Yeah.
Lucy Liu (26:32)
But it's not about the process, it's really about the result and working together, talking to our parents. I mean, even for me, now that I am doing this work, it's still hard. It's not easy to talk to our parents, but it's a learning process.
Kelli Luu (26:49)
Yeah.
thank you so much for even taking the time to be here and talk to us about that. I have one more question for you. What would you say if you met the real
The real Lucy Liu, the actress. ⁓
Lucy Liu (27:05)
my goodness. ⁓
That is actually, I'm going to put it out there. That is actually my next dream eat brunch with her and meet her and talk to her and tell her how amazing she is, how remarkable she is and how much impact she has on our community and my life because my entire being now is, is, you know,
affected by her existence and that's a beautiful existence and I think I would actually be very quiet because I would be like, the introvert, the introvert Lucy starstruck. Yes, I would definitely and that goes. Yeah, that goes another long way to say, you know, even though I'm speaking right now, I'm a speaker, but I am introverted. I love spending time just, you know, hiding at home.
Kelli Luu (27:32)
It is.
bit starstruck.
Lucy Liu (27:58)
and, that doesn't mean we don't have the, the ability to come out and make a difference. And I think I hope that inspires some listener to reach higher potential and do great things themselves. So yeah, thank you, Kelli, so much for putting my next dream out there. I want to meet her in person. I want to, I
Kelli Luu (28:07)
Yeah.
⁓ of course.
Well, thank you so much Lucy It's been a pleasure talking to you I've definitely taken a lot of insight and wisdom from this and I hope a lot of our viewers have too
Thanks
everyone for joining in and listening to us today at the Gold Sea Podcast. I'm Kelli Luu This is Lucy Liu We'll tune in next time. Thank you guys.
Lucy Liu (28:40)
Thank you.
Thanks for joining us on the Gold Sea Podcast. For more great Asian American podcasts and other Asian American content, join us at goldsea.com. You can also enjoy our podcasts on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. You can follow us on Instagram at Gold Sea Media and on our YouTube channel, Gold Sea Media. Until next time.