Have you ever had a “what if” person… and you can’t tell if it’s God’s timing or an emotional trap?

In this episode, a listener writes in about a seven-year friendship that keeps circling back into something deeper. They’ve never kissed, she’s been abstinent for five years, and now — for the first time — their timing finally aligns to explore a relationship. But she’s torn: he’s warm, patient, and makes her feel safe… yet she’s afraid she’s been living more in fantasy than reality.

They’re long-distance, both navigating ADHD, and she’s trying to rebuild her faith while also wanting a partner who can lead spiritually — without performing faith just to keep her. So the real question becomes: is love and safety enough to take the risk, or is this a distraction that could derail her growth?

We talk about how to move forward with wisdom, how to check your “sober mind” when you’re already emotionally invested, and why you can’t keep someone in your life as a permanent what-if.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• Izzy’s letter to Glen after Sydney’s passing (bring tissues)

• Release Rest Remain update + the YouVersion Bible reading plan

• Listener email: the long-distance “what if” friendship turning serious

• ADHD, consistency, and what love looks like in real life

• Faith alignment, spiritual leadership, and moving with a sober mind

• Why “love is a risk” — and how to take it wisely

• Parenting + marriage questions: balance, devotionals, and real-life routines

💬 Join the Conversation

Have you ever carried a “what if” relationship for years?
What helped you decide to risk it — or finally let it go?

❤️ If This Helped You

Like the video, subscribe, and share it with someone navigating long-distance love, boundaries, and faith alignment.

📚 Resources & Links

Father Yourself First
https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Release Rest Remain
https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO

Release Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan
https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646

Premarital Advantage
https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT)
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community
https://www.patreon.com/HMAY

Yvette’s Email List
https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-list

The Biggest Story Affiliate links mentioned in this episode
https://bit.ly/3Lx0Ipb
https://bit.ly/4qz1IIZ
https://bit.ly/3NDgUG1

HMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate)
https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-US

In this episode, we talk honestly about something we’re still learning how to navigate in our own marriage: celebration, hosting, and friendship.

We unpack a real disagreement between us — one where gathering people, creating moments, and hosting feels meaningful and necessary to one of us, while the other experiences those same moments as pressure, disruption, and emotional overload. Neither of us is wrong, but the tension between those needs has shown up more than once over the years.

We share what that conflict actually looked like, how it connected to deeper questions about friendship, emotional capacity, and being known, and what it took for us to repair without one of us shrinking or the other feeling dismissed.

This conversation is about learning each other again, choosing honesty over peacekeeping, and figuring out how to stay connected without losing yourself in the process.

Resources & Links

Release Rest Remain

https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO

Yvette’s Email List

https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-list

Release Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan

https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646

Father Yourself First

https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Audiobook

Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.

Premarital Advantage

Questions and worksheets for dating, engaged, and newlyweds

https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT)

Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community

Bonus conversations and behind-the-scenes content

https://www.patreon.com/HMAY

Join the Conversation

Do you and your partner experience celebration or hosting differently?

Have you ever realized you were arguing about something deeper than what was on the surface?

If This Helped You

Like the video, subscribe, and share it with someone navigating recurring tension, friendship shifts, or emotional capacity in marriage.

In this episode of How Married Are You, we respond to a listener email from a newly married wife who’s quietly struggling with loneliness. Between long work hours, late nights, exhaustion, and limited time together, she’s worried this season might become their new normal — and she doesn’t want to come across as ungrateful or like a nag for wanting more connection.

We talk honestly about marriage seasons, why hard rhythms don’t automatically mean something is wrong, and how to tell the difference between a temporary grind and a deeper issue. Glen and Yvette share what they would do differently if they could revisit similar seasons in their own marriage, and why how you show up now impacts the seasons ahead.

This conversation covers:

• How to survive a lonely season in marriage

• Communicating needs without resentment

• Why seasons change (even when they feel endless)

• Staying connected when schedules don’t align

• Building support and community outside your spouse

If you’re married and wondering, “Is this just a season — or is this our forever?” this episode is for you.

Resources & Links

Order the book: Father Yourself First https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555]

Order the book: Release • Rest • Remain https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO](https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO

Audiobook: Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.

Premarital Advantage: Questions and worksheets for dating, engaged, and newlyweds https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT): Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community: Access bonus conversations and behind-the-scenes content [https://www.patreon.com/HMAY](https://www.patreon.com/HMAY)

Happy Holidays, y’all! As the year comes to a close, we’re taking a short break from our regularly scheduled podcast episodes to rest, reset, and be present. As a little holiday gift, we’re sharing a conversation from the Patreon vault that you may have missed. If you enjoy conversations like this, join us on Patreon for weekly bonus conversations after every podcast.

In this Patreon vault episode, Glen and Yvette unpack a viral and troubling clip where Young Thug admits he would feel “less of a man” if his partner went to therapy. From there, the conversation widens into a powerful discussion about ego, control, emotional safety, and why discouraging therapy is a major red flag — not masculinity.

They talk honestly about why no one person can (or should) be everything for their partner, the importance of having trusted people outside your relationship, and how healthy love actually encourages growth rather than isolating it. Glen shares why leaning on close friends and therapy has been essential for him, and Yvette reflects on why that support doesn’t threaten marriage — it strengthens it.

The episode also touches on friendships, safe spaces, healing masculinity, and how parenting (especially raising a daughter) sharpens awareness around emotional health and self-worth.

This conversation is candid, thought-provoking, and grounding — especially for anyone navigating relationships, mental health, or redefining strength and support.

👉 Join us on Patreon for weekly bonus conversations and exclusive content:
www.patreon.com/HMAY

Happy Holidays, y’all! As the year comes to a close, we’re taking a short break from our regularly scheduled podcast episodes to rest, reset, and be present. As a little holiday gift, we’re sharing a conversation from the Patreon vault that you may have missed. If you enjoy conversations like this, join us on Patreon for weekly bonus discussions after every podcast.

In this vault conversation, Glen and Yvette explore a question many people wrestle with quietly: Can you marry someone hoping they’ll change — and is that fair? They unpack the difference between growth and expectation, why marrying “potential” can create pressure and resentment, and the importance of accepting who someone is right now, not who you hope they’ll become.

They also talk about dating with intention, how church culture and timelines can blur discernment, and why observing real-life behavior — especially around children, responsibility, and family roles — matters before making lifelong commitments.

The episode then shifts into a heartfelt reflection on parenting, particularly how raising a daughter has reshaped self-awareness, healing, and urgency around personal growth. From body image conversations to protecting innocence, it’s an honest look at how becoming parents often forces us to confront ourselves.

This conversation is reflective, humorous, and grounding — perfect for anyone dating seriously, married and reassessing expectations, or parenting while still growing.

👉 Join us on Patreon for weekly bonus conversations and exclusive content:
www.patreon.com/HMAY

This episode centers on one big listener question: Did I romanticize my husband — and overlook red flags while dating?

A newly married listener from South Africa writes in just three months after the wedding, struggling with harsh words during conflict, old wounds resurfacing, and the fear that she may have confused spiritual compatibility with true emotional safety.

We unpack what “gentleness” should look like in marriage, how triggers differ from cruelty, and why sober-minded dating matters more than shared ministry or chemistry.

And… BIG NEWS: Yvette is officially an author! We talk through her new devotional Release • Rest • Remain, the John 15 rhythm that helped her rebuild her spiritual foundation, and why preorders matter for first-time authors.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• Chocolate Baby Storytime: evil drawings, angel drawings, and toddler chaos

• Uzi’s 6-goal hockey game & homeschool updates

• The story behind Release • Rest • Remain and how the devotional was born

• Listener Email: Did I romanticize this relationship?

• Emotional triggers vs. emotional harm in early marriage

• The importance of gentleness, safety, and sober-minded dating

• How upbringing and humor styles shape conflict

• Patreon preview: the viral “flat tire” clip & weaponized tears

• “How Married Are You?” moments

📚 Resources & Links Order Yvette’s Devotional: 👉 Release, Rest, Remain: A 30-Day Devotional to Embrace Abiding Over Striving https://a.co/d/4ATlBWO

Glen’s Book — Father Yourself First: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

🎧 Audiobooks Available wherever audiobooks are sold.

📍 Follow @beleafmel https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

💍 Premarital Advantage (PMA) https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

🌿 Patreon Community www.patreon.com/HMAY 💬

Join the Conversation Have you ever looked back and realized you romanticized a relationship? How did you regain clarity or rebuild trust? Share below.

This episode dives into one major listener question: Are we unequally yoked? A 31-year-old Christian single mom writes in, deeply in love and preparing for engagement — but scared that her Protestant faith and her partner’s Eastern Orthodox roots might create cracks later. We unpack theology vs. lifestyle, how beliefs show up in everyday routines, and what unity actually looks like when two people worship differently but love Jesus fully.

We also share a joyful, chaotic Chocolate Baby Storytime from a commercial shoot involving $15k cameras, water balloons, and children who absolutely refused to listen 😂. And… BIG NEWS: Yvette is officially an author! We talk through her new 30-day devotional Release, Rest, Remain: A 30-Day Devotional to Embrace Abiding Over Striving and why this rhythm has helped her heal, surrender, and stay grounded.

Plus, a vulnerable update from our “4th baby mama” listener and a needed reminder that shame from strangers online is not your inheritance.

This one is heartfelt, thoughtful, funny, and full of real clarity for anyone navigating faith, family, and long-term commitment.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• Chocolate Baby Storytime: commercial-set chaos, kids, cameras, and water balloons
• Yvette’s new 30-day devotional & the story behind Release, Rest, Remain: A 30-Day Devotional to Embrace Abiding Over Striving
• Is this relationship truly unequally yoked? Breaking down Protestant vs. Eastern Orthodox
• Theology differences vs. lifestyle differences — what actually impacts a home
• The “4th baby mama” follow-up + why the internet’s shame has no authority over you

📚 Resources & Links

Order Yvette’s Devotional:

👉 Release, Rest, Remain: A 30-Day Devotional to Embrace Abiding Over Striving: https://a.co/d/4ATlBWO

Father Yourself First (Glen’s Book):

👉 https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

🎧 Audiobook:

Glen narrates the full audiobook wherever audiobooks are sold.

📍 Follow @beleafmel for tour dates, signings & updates

https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

💍 Premarital Advantage (PMA):

Tools for dating, engaged, or rebuilding couples

https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

🖤 Saturday Men’s Group (Black men | 7 a.m. PT):

Join the Father Meet-Up

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

🌿 Patreon Community:

Longer episodes + behind-the-scenes + mentorship tiers

www.patreon.com/HMAY

💬 Join the Conversation

Have you ever dated someone from a different church tradition?What helped you find unity — or clarity that it wasn’t the right fit?

Drop your story below. Your insight might guide someone today.

❤️ If This Helped You

Like, subscribe, and share with someone navigating faith differences, parenting, or big relationship decisions.

This episode centers on two powerful listener emails — one from a man afraid his insecurity is destroying a healthy relationship, and another from a woman untangling herself from a four-year situationship filled with hidden children, heartbreak, miscarriages, and blurred co-parenting lines.

We talk honestly about trust, emotional safety, soul-ties, red flags, and why some relationships can’t be prayed into health.

Around the emails, we also share a hilarious family moment involving an accidental birds-and-bees talk at dinner, and a quick update on the book tour and Patreon goals.

This one is vulnerable, grounded, and full of clarity for anyone trying to love better and choose wiser.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• How insecurity dims your partner’s light
• Taking thoughts captive vs. letting fear run the relationship
• Why “she’s too friendly” might be about you, not her
• What emotional safety looks like in dating
• A jaw-dropping story about hidden kids, lies, and postpartum abandonment
• Why F-boy patterns repeat — and how to break yours
• The truth about co-parenting with someone who won’t commit
• How to protect your heart while still raising your child well
• Community updates + how your support keeps the show going

📚 Resources & Links

Order the book:

👉 Father Yourself First

https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Audiobook:🎧 Glen narrates the full audiobook wherever audiobooks are sold.

Tour dates & signings:

📍 Follow @beleafmel for ATL, LA, NYC + more

https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

Premarital Advantage (PMA):

💍 Tools for dating, engaged, or healing singles

https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men | 7 a.m. PT):

Join the Father Meet-Up

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community:

🌿 Longer episodes + ad-free + behind-the-scenes

www.patreon.com/HMAY

💬 Join the Conversation

What was the moment you realized a relationship wasn’t safe for your heart?

Drop it below — your wisdom might free somebody.

❤️ If This Helped You

Like, subscribe, and share with someone navigating trust, blended families, or heartbreak healing.

In this episode, we read an email from a listener who loves her boyfriend but doesn’t feel like his first choice. We talk insecurity vs. truth, attraction, healing from past relationships, and how to discern if you’re being chosen or just convenient.

Plus, Chocolate Baby Storytime with a family rap session, camping trip confessions, and updates on Premarital Advantage, Father Yourself First, and the Saturday men’s group for Black men.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• When “I’ve got a wandering eye” is actually a confession

• The difference between normal attraction and shopping for better options

• Why journaling your story brings clarity

• Feeling chosen vs. feeling like a backup plan

• How past trauma shapes dating patterns

• Why inexperience can actually be a dating superpower

• Choosing your “hard” while still protecting your heart

📚 Resources & Links

Order the book:

👉 Father Yourself First https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Audiobook:

🎧 Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.

Tour dates & signings:

📍 Follow @beleafmel https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

Premarital Advantage:

💍 Worksheets & guidance for dating, engaged, or newlywed couples https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Dating to Marry – “The List” (FREE):

📝 Available on the homepage https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.com

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT)

Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community:

🌿 Bonus convos & behind-the-scenes https://www.patreon.com/HMAY

💬 Join the Conversation

Have you ever felt like someone’s option instead of their choice? What brought you clarity? Drop it in the comments.

❤️ If This Helped You Like, subscribe, and share with a friend navigating faith, dating, and emotional honesty.

We’re talking to a solo mom who wrote in real honest: should she try again with her son’s dad? We unpack trust after hurt, how healing changes what you want, and why “for the baby” is not a dating strategy. We keep it tender, tell the truth, and give some practical next steps. Plus, Chocolate Baby Storytime, cleanse life, and Lily the dog leaving sticky-note reminders like a tiny furry manager.

This one is warm, real, and rooted in wisdom. Pull up a chair.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• Naming hurt without living in it

• Signs of real change vs wishful thinking

• Co-parenting well even if romance is paused

• Why a no-dating season can be a reset for your soul

• What a rebuild plan should include if you try again

• A marriage quote that reframes starting over with the same person

• Community updates, Patreon goals, and how to get plugged in

📚 Resources & Links

Order the book:

👉 Father Yourself First

https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Audiobook:

🎧 Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.

Tour dates & signings:

📍 Follow @beleafmel for ATL, NYC, LA and more

https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

Premarital Advantage:

💍 Questions and worksheets for dating, engaged, and newlyweds

https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT)

Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community:

🌿 Bonus convos and behind-the-scenes

www.patreon.com/HMAY

https://www.patreon.com/HMAY

💬 Join the Conversation

What boundary or practice helped you heal after a breakup? Drop it in the comments. Somebody needs your wisdom.

❤️ If This Helped You

Like, subscribe, and share with a friend who is navigating co-parenting, faith, and second chances.