In this episode, we read an email from a listener who loves her boyfriend but doesn’t feel like his first choice. We talk insecurity vs. truth, attraction, healing from past relationships, and how to discern if you’re being chosen or just convenient.

Plus, Chocolate Baby Storytime with a family rap session, camping trip confessions, and updates on Premarital Advantage, Father Yourself First, and the Saturday men’s group for Black men.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• When “I’ve got a wandering eye” is actually a confession

• The difference between normal attraction and shopping for better options

• Why journaling your story brings clarity

• Feeling chosen vs. feeling like a backup plan

• How past trauma shapes dating patterns

• Why inexperience can actually be a dating superpower

• Choosing your “hard” while still protecting your heart

📚 Resources & Links

Order the book:

👉 Father Yourself First https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Audiobook:

🎧 Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.

Tour dates & signings:

📍 Follow @beleafmel https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

Premarital Advantage:

💍 Worksheets & guidance for dating, engaged, or newlywed couples https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Dating to Marry – “The List” (FREE):

📝 Available on the homepage https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.com

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT)

Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community:

🌿 Bonus convos & behind-the-scenes https://www.patreon.com/HMAY

💬 Join the Conversation

Have you ever felt like someone’s option instead of their choice? What brought you clarity? Drop it in the comments.

❤️ If This Helped You Like, subscribe, and share with a friend navigating faith, dating, and emotional honesty.

We’re talking to a solo mom who wrote in real honest: should she try again with her son’s dad? We unpack trust after hurt, how healing changes what you want, and why “for the baby” is not a dating strategy. We keep it tender, tell the truth, and give some practical next steps. Plus, Chocolate Baby Storytime, cleanse life, and Lily the dog leaving sticky-note reminders like a tiny furry manager.

This one is warm, real, and rooted in wisdom. Pull up a chair.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• Naming hurt without living in it

• Signs of real change vs wishful thinking

• Co-parenting well even if romance is paused

• Why a no-dating season can be a reset for your soul

• What a rebuild plan should include if you try again

• A marriage quote that reframes starting over with the same person

• Community updates, Patreon goals, and how to get plugged in

📚 Resources & Links

Order the book:

👉 Father Yourself First

https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Audiobook:

🎧 Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.

Tour dates & signings:

📍 Follow @beleafmel for ATL, NYC, LA and more

https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

Premarital Advantage:

💍 Questions and worksheets for dating, engaged, and newlyweds

https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT)

Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community:

🌿 Bonus convos and behind-the-scenes

www.patreon.com/HMAY

https://www.patreon.com/HMAY

💬 Join the Conversation

What boundary or practice helped you heal after a breakup? Drop it in the comments. Somebody needs your wisdom.

❤️ If This Helped You

Like, subscribe, and share with a friend who is navigating co-parenting, faith, and second chances.

We’re talking to a solo mom who wrote in real honest: should she try again with her son’s dad? We unpack trust after hurt, how healing changes what you want, and why “for the baby” is not a dating strategy. We keep it tender, tell the truth, and give some practical next steps. Plus, Chocolate Baby Storytime, cleanse life, and Lily the dog leaving sticky-note reminders like a tiny furry manager.

This one is warm, real, and rooted in wisdom. Pull up a chair.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• Naming hurt without living in it

• Signs of real change vs wishful thinking

• Co-parenting well even if romance is paused

• Why a no-dating season can be a reset for your soul

• What a rebuild plan should include if you try again

• A marriage quote that reframes starting over with the same person

• Community updates, Patreon goals, and how to get plugged in

📚 Resources & Links

Order the book:

👉 Father Yourself First

https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Audiobook:

🎧 Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.

Tour dates & signings:

📍 Follow @beleafmel for ATL, NYC, LA and more

https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

Premarital Advantage:

💍 Questions and worksheets for dating, engaged, and newlyweds

https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT)

Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community:

🌿 Bonus convos and behind-the-scenes

www.patreon.com/HMAY

https://www.patreon.com/HMAY

💬 Join the Conversation

What boundary or practice helped you heal after a breakup? Drop it in the comments. Somebody needs your wisdom.

❤️ If This Helped You

Like, subscribe, and share with a friend who is navigating co-parenting, faith, and second chances.

She wrote in heartbroken: six months in, different faith practices, sex after planning to wait, and an “I love you” he stopped saying. Then her dad talked to the boyfriend who admitted he didn’t plan to marry her and wanted to “see what else is out there.” We respond with care and clarity: nothing was wasted, learn the lesson, forgive, and choose wisely next time.

We also talk sibling dynamics at home, privileged kids and holiday expectations, Glen’s new book release, and practical ways to discern alignment before you get too far in.

✨ What You’ll Hear

💭 “Nothing was wasted” reframed: hurt, anger, embarrassment, and self-compassion

💬 Saying “I love you” too soon vs living it with actions

🙏🏾 Dating with different faith practices and holiday habits

❤️ Why alignment on core values matters before marriage

🧠 Premarital questions that save time, money, and heartbreak

📖 Father Yourself First book release and tour

👥 Community for Black men who need a safe place to land

📚 Resources & Links

Order the book:

👉 Father Yourself Firsthttps://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Audiobook:

🎧 Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.

Tour dates & signings:

📍 Check Glen’s Instagram for ATL, NYC, LA + more — @beleafmel

https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

Premarital Advantage:

💍 Questions and worksheets for dating, engaged, and newlyweds.

https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT):

Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom 👇🏾https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community:

🌿 Access bonus convos and behind-the-scenes content — www.patreon.com/HMAY

https://www.patreon.com/HMAY

💬 Join the Conversation

What is one lesson you learned from a relationship that didn’t work out? Drop it in the comments below.

❤️ If This Helped You

Like the video, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs wise counsel on dating, faith, and commitment.

📘 ORDER FATHER YOURSELF FIRST TODAY!

A listener writes in about the woman he loves—smart, beautiful, and ready for marriage… except she believes a man should pay for everything while she saves her own money “for security.” She says a woman shouldn’t spend on an able-bodied man. He calls it an escape route. Now he’s wondering: is this financial boundary a red flag or just her way of protecting herself after trauma?

We talk:

💬 “You can’t build a marriage while keeping one foot out the door.” — Glen breaks down why financial distrust is often emotional distrust in disguise.

💰 How “wife allowance” culture and social media talking points are warping partnership into transaction.

❤️ The difference between protecting yourself and refusing to be a team.

🧱 Why unhealed trauma around money can become the foundation of your marriage — and eventually its fault line.

🙏🏾 Yvette shares how witnessing her own mother’s financial vulnerability shaped her drive for independence—and how healthy transparency healed that fear in marriage.

Would you marry someone who refuses to combine money with you? 🤔

Episode 267 of How Married Are You? is live—tap in and share your thoughts!

PRE-ORDER FATHER YOURSELF FIRST TODAY!

Father Meet- Up Zoom Link

What do you do when you catch your husband on the Ring camera talking about another woman… and realize the fairytale you’ve built together might’ve never been real? 💔

This week’s listener letter, “Broken Pieces,” comes from a wife and mother of four who discovered her husband’s long-term emotional affair—one that started years ago and only came to light by accident. Now, even after counseling, her trust is shattered and she’s asking: do I keep fighting for this marriage, or is it time to let go?

We talk:

💬 Why emotional affairs can be just as devastating as physical ones—and why men often underestimate their impact.

💔 Yvette on what it really takes to rebuild trust after betrayal and why healing can’t be rushed to “get back to normal.”

🧠 Glen breaks down why many husbands confuse regret with repentance—and the work required to earn back safety.

⚖️ How couples therapy can stall if both people aren’t equally honest about the damage done.

🙏🏾 The hard truth: forgiveness and reconciliation aren’t the same thing—and you can choose one without the other.

Have you ever stayed after discovering something you could never unhear? Episode 266 of How Married Are You? is live—tap in.

PRE-ORDER FATHER YOURSELF FIRST TODAY!

What do you do when the man you love keeps hitting pause on the future you planned together?

💍 After six years—three long-distance, three living together—a listener’s boyfriend still hasn’t proposed or started premarital counseling. She feels more like a roommate than a partner, while he insists they’ve “gone backwards” and need to fix their foundation before moving toward marriage. Now she’s wondering: is this a season to rebuild… or a sign it’s time to walk away?

We talk:

💬 "When a man says ‘not right now,’ he often means ‘not you.’” – Glen breaks down what “not ready” really signals about a man’s heart and leadership.

⚖️ How living together before commitment can blur standards and stall clarity about the relationship’s direction.

❤️ Why comfort can replace pursuit—and what women lose when they stop being chosen.

🧱 Yvette’s reminder: “You can’t fix the foundation while living in the house.” If it’s shaky now, marriage won’t steady it.

🙏🏾 The difference between hoping he’ll grow and accepting he’s not growing with you.

Have you ever stayed too long waiting for someone to be ready? ⏳ Episode 265 of How Married Are You? is live—tap in, share your story, and tag a friend who needs this convo.

PRE-ORDER FATHER YOURSELF FIRST TODAY!

What if your independence isn’t a strength—but a shield? 💔 A 28-year-old listener has never been in a romantic relationship, and she wonders if years of self-reliance have made her “too independent” to ever need (or want) marriage.

With rejection scars, a deep love of solo life, and questions about purpose, partnership, and faith, she asks: Is marriage more than companionship? Or is it simply not for everyone?

We talk:

✨ Why independence can morph from healthy to isolating if it keeps you from risking intimacy

💡 The difference between “prescribed marriage” and truly desiring a covenant partnership

🙏🏾 How encounters with God reshape our view of self-worth, sex, and relationships

🌱 What it looks like to prepare for marriage without idolizing it—or fearing it

❤️ Why learning to receive love can be harder (and holier) than giving it

Have you ever worried you’re too independent for love? Episode 264 is live—tap in and share your story in the comments!

#HowMarriedAreYou #RelationshipTalk #FaithAndLove

PRE-ORDER FATHER YOURSELF FIRST TODAY: https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

“Help Me Get My Husband Off the Couch”

For the last five years, one wife has been going to bed alone—while her husband voluntarily sets up camp on the couch 🛋️.

What started as late-night gaming turned into a full-blown routine, even when they lived in a studio apartment just three feet apart.

Now she’s asking: Is this just a bad habit… or a deeper signal about intimacy, stress, and their marriage?

We talk:

💤 Why “comfort” isn’t the real reason many men retreat to the couch

🔥 How sexual frustration and unspoken resentment can quietly drive distance

🛑 Why calling it “just a bad habit” misses the deeper layers of disconnection

👀 The possibility of porn, avoidance, or hidden nighttime routines fueling the cycle

❤️ Why a marriage bed matters—not just for sleep, but for connection, vulnerability, and unity

Ever had a partner avoid the bed? Did it turn out to be comfort… or conflict? Episode 263 is live—tap in and share your story in the comments! #HowMarriedAreYou #MarriageTalk #CouchConfessions

PRE-ORDER FATHER YOURSELF FIRST TODAY: https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

"Am I going to be a lazy mom?”

A 23-year-old listener is glowing with excitement about her first pregnancy 👶🏾—but beneath the joy, fear lingers. Raised tough, she worries she won’t be nurturing enough, won’t have the energy, won’t measure up. Her 25-year-old husband is steady and supportive, but she’s left asking: How do I step into motherhood when doubt whispers louder than confidence?

We talk:

💡 Why parenting starts in the womb—and how small daily choices already shape connection

🛑 The lie of the “lazy mom” and why rest is a requirement, not a weakness

💸 Facing financial fears with faith and resilience instead of scarcity thinking

🍼 How breastfeeding, bonding, and even “missed invitations” become training grounds for grace

🌱 Learning to parent yourself first so you can parent your child with confidence and compassion

Have you ever doubted you’d be “enough” as a parent? How did you find your footing?

Episode 262 is live—join the conversation and share your story! #HowMarriedAreYou #ParentingWithGrace #Episode262