Becoming Both

How Much Housework Should A Father Do? We Chat Domestic Load & How It Should Be Split


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Hi friends!

After an unexpected three-week break, we're back! In this episode of Becoming Both, I convince Tyron to join me with about five minutes' notice before we head off to Bali for a family holiday.

We start with a little life update.. how we're surviving winter, finally getting a little more sleep, Sophie's determined personality, and the reminder that every stage of parenting is just that: a season.

From there, we dive into a conversation that comes up in almost every family at some point: the mental load.

We chat openly about how we divide responsibilities in our own home (we'd probably call it a 60/40 split), what has worked for us, and where we've had to learn along the way. We explore why it's often not the big jobs that create resentment, but the constant stream of invisible tasks that keep a household running.

As someone with diagnosed ADHD, I also share how constant interruptions from young children can leave me feeling mentally overloaded, and why practical support isn't just about "helping".. it's about sharing responsibility.

We also unpack topics like weaponized incompetence, micromanaging, differing standards around housework, and why expressing appreciation for each other's efforts can go a long way.

This isn't about blaming mums or dads. It's an honest conversation about building a partnership where both people feel seen, supported, and valued.

In this episode we discuss:

  • The mental load of parenting
  • Sharing household responsibilities
  • Parenting as a partnership
  • Invisible labour and resentment
  • ADHD and overstimulation in motherhood
  • Weaponized incompetence
  • Different standards and priorities at home
  • Communication around domestic labour
  • Appreciation and gratitude in relationships
  • Why motherhood is work, even when you're at home

Whether you're the parent carrying most of the mental load or you're trying to better understand your partner's experience, I hope this conversation encourages more empathy, more teamwork, and a few practical takeaways you can use in your own home.

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Come and continue the conversation over on Instagram @doulamarley @becomingboth

Appreciate the support and feedback as usual!

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Becoming BothBy Marley Blunt