You saw the title of this video. It's how

to be a better listener. And I mean what

can we talk about in such a short video

to actually improve listening. Well

Valerie's got 5 strategies that she's

going to share on how we can become better

listeners. Where do we begin? This is a

good topic. -Well, I'm just going to sit back

and listen. Right? -What!? -You tell me. No, I'm

just kidding.

No. So, becoming a better listener is

something that I think all of us could

really stand to improve upon. It's... It's a

struggle, right? I mean anytime there's a

lull in the conversation almost everyone

in the room is waiting to just jump in

and give their opinion. Money and I work with

lots of professional speakers. -Yes. -That's

what... That's what we love to talk.

So, yeah. What's... What are some key

strategies that we can really do to

be better at listening. -Yeah. Well, so one

of the things that I really encourage

people to do is to take time. I think if

you take some time intentionally to

listen, you will get better at it. I mean

you will find that you are developing

that more and more when you're face to

face with people. And when I say take

time, a lot of times this means just

taking the time to pay attention to

what's going on in your surroundings. I

like to... I like to make the habit of

leaving 5 minutes early from

something or for something. So, that I'm

not rushing to get somewhere. And that

just allows me just a few extra moments

to be paying attention to what are

people saying around me, what needs doing

walk across when I'm walking from my car

to the store. When I'm walking into my

house. Are there things around me that

I'm normally moving so fast that I'm not

even paying attention to? In business

though, taking time also means paying

attention to what's going on and being

said without my industry or even my

brand. And social listening is

actually something that you can pay

companies to just do. They will just pay

attention and be watching for when your

brand is being mentioned. Now usually

it's bigger brands that pay a lot of

attention to social listening. For

smaller brands, this can be as simple as

just paying attention to what the

comments are, the message is, what kinds

of things are being said when you do a

search. -I never heard of that phrase.

Social listening. -The social listening.

Yeah, it's just paying attention to what

are people saying. So especially if

you're dealing with maybe some bad press

related to your brand, you want to be

paying attention big-time to what people

are saying. Now, if you're launching

something new, listening can be really

helpful because you can get a pulse on

what people are looking for in your

service or your product. Pretty cool. So,

that makes me think of Google Alerts.

Maybe sitting out.... Somebody's put my

name or my company name or something out

there, yeah. -Yeah. Always have Google Alert

set up. And a lot of social media

management tools not only allow you to

schedule posts but they also allow you

to watch for whenever your brand's

are tagged or mentioned in social media

posts. So, especially in places like

Twitter and Instagram where there might

be a lot of things coming in you could

easily miss, it's really nice to have a

software that's tracking that stuff for

you. -Okay, so now how does that... Let's just

talk about how that applies individual

like if I'm having a conversation with

somebody. How can I take more time

listening? Is it just... You know,

white-knuckling it or like i know i want

to talk but I've got a busy home I hold

my time. -Well, have you ever tried just

for the fun of it seeing if you could

have those awkward silences? And give that

extra split second before you respond to

something? It's kind of a fun practice to

have. And just to go into maybe one night

at a party, you plan to just kind of have

that extra little pause. Sometimes that

can be really effective because when

they realize that you actually say

something

that you're... Then it must be important.

The other thing I like to do at parties

and with some social and instances, is

I try to go into it where I don't do

this all the time. But every once in a

while, I will go into a social

interaction with someone and say, "You

know what? I want to ask more questions

to them than they ask of me." I want them

to be talking more than they than I'm

talking. So, this is really fun in

business scenarios or networking

scenarios. Because people like talking

about themselves. And so if you can get

someone talking about themselves, you

give them this feeling of, "Wow, they

really like me." And you actually leave

with a much higher impression or they

leave with a much higher impression of

you than if you had done a lot of

talking about yourself. -So, made me think

of maybe I'll go to an event or

something with a buddy that we're

going to have a competition and you can get

that who can be asking the most

questions. Maybe we keep tally marks that

way we pay attention to it. -Yeah. -You know,

it's really fun. This... This works maybe

for kids more than adults. But if you're

really introverted and shy, this could

work for you too. But I was at a party a

couple weeks ago and the dad of the

adult children all grown and adults now.

He said when his kids were young, they

had a lot of business types of parties

at their house where was a lot of adults

and very few other kids. And he told his

kids, "I will pay you a quarter for every

person you can name and tell me

something intelligent about them from

your conversation." And so, their kids

learned how to talk to adults and engage

them in conversation because they were

making money from it. Isn't that fun? -All

right. So, we spent a lot of time on that

first ingredient. What would you say is a

second ingredient to listening? -The

second ingredient is to go deeper. The

reality is you can go deep with anyone.

It's just a matter of finding the right

questions to ask.

And be willing to potentially go into

some uncomfortable conversations. Now, of

course you're going to make some judgment

calls as to when it's the right scenario

for that. The deeper you go with someone

the more the other person will feel like

they have been heard. And so, the more

questions you can ask that require them

to actually explain themselves versus a

yes-or-no question really open yourself

up to going deeper with people. -Okay, I

like that. Alright. What is key number

3? -Okay. So, the next key is to listen

with your whole body. A

lot of times people... You know, they like

to be maybe on their phone. They've got

their arms crossed. They've got their

body turned or they're looking beyond

you to see who walked in the room

instead of looking you straight in the

eye. Being fully engaged not being on

your phone. Those are all very simple

things you can do to show someone that

you actually are paying attention.

There's a lot that is said without

saying any words. And so that nonverbal

communication that you're sending to

someone is extremely important. So, yeah.

Avoid distractions especially with the

smart phone. -So, I know a couple people

who are experts in body language and

anytime that teach me something, I then

become self conscious. Conscious of that

thing. So one of the things is I

guess the direction my shoes are

pointing. So, if I'm standing and I my

shoes are pointing to you, that means I'm

I'm interested. But if my shoes start

pointing towards the door it's like, I

guess subconsciously I'm telling you, "I'm

kind of ready to leave." -Yeah. You know,

that's just makes me think of, "Okay. I got

to pay attention to what my body is

saying other than what I'm actually

vocally saying." -Right. -Okay. -Yeah. -Alright.

What is secret number 4?

-Okay. Secret number 4 is actually to

be very slow to respond. So this is very

similar to the first one where you're

taking time but you by being slow to

respond, it tells the other person that

you are actually processing the

information that they have given you.

Whether it's a professional conversation

or it's a personal conversation. The

slower you can be to respond is really

beneficial. And it allows you to

actually have some intelligent responses

instead of just quickly feeling like you

need to fill that awkward silence. So, I

know it's hard but be slow to respond.

And one of the best things too is being

careful about how fast you're responding

on social media. You know, comments on

YouTube anything like that. We have the

ability to take a big deep breath before

we respond to something because I don't

know about you but every once in a while

I'm moving so fastm I miss read some

emails. I will miss read comments and

I'll go back and look at them and think,

"Oh, I'm glad I didn't respond in in anger

to that because they actually didn't...

They weren't trying to be snarky.

But I first read it as..." So, sometimes

you need to take a big deep breath and

realize, "Okay. I'll come back to this in a

few minutes."

It's okay. People don't always expect

that you're right in front of your phone

or right in front of that social media

platform. -So, I like that. I find that

that's... That's really applicable to me.

When I'm in person, I'm typically very

kind. But when I am... I get i like the word

snarky. When I get a snarky email or

comment or something, I feel like, "I got

to defend myself." But with social media, I

can... I can take some time to like read it.

Like "No, I better not say that in a

recent. Go back." So, that's... That certainly

applies to social media or email. Yeah.

-Yeah, for sure. I think we all struggle

with it. -Alright. What is method number

5 to listening? -So, this is really

important when it comes to building a

brand online and it involves monitoring

the trends. So, when you're listening and

trying to build influence online, you

want to be paying attention to what is

going on in your industry. What are

people talking about, what are people

concerned about, what questions do people

have. And so if you're monitoring those

trends, you're able to know exactly what

to speak into and you can be a lot more

strategic. And I know you monitor trends

that are regular

basis by doing keyword research. So, you

before you create any videos, you are

listening first to see what is trending

that we should speak into and educate

people on. It's the same thing in any

other spot in digital marketing. And as

you're trying to build that digital

influence, it's really important. And that

that brought to mind. Actually when I'm

having a conversation with an individual.

If I had... If I had gone to their profile

say on Facebook and I knew that they had

went on an adventure in Europe or there

was a family event or something and when

were in conversation, I bring it up, I bet

they... They're going to feel heard. Maybe, yeah.

I bet they're going to feel heard or felt

valued that, "Wow, he actually follows me

on social media." -Yeah. They're going to know

you care if you're paying attention to

what's going on. And honestly, Facebook

friends lists are one of my favorite

tools to be able to do exactly what

you're talking about.

-Thank You Valerie. I appreciate your

showing the 5 nuggets to learn to

listen better. Definitely want to

recommend her book to you. This is

Valerie Morris, We're All Ears. You can

find this on Amazon. And you didn't

mention keyword research. So I'm going to

offer my keyword research guide for free.

Keyword research is so important because

if you do it before filming, your videos

will rank day one on YouTube. So if you

click the link below, you can get access

to that. And of course, be sure to

subscribe. See you tomorrow.