If you think it is normal for children to disregard parental concerns about friendships, I have some good news for you. A whole lot depends on the groundwork of trust you have built, combined with some strategies for keeping the subject of friends open. If you take the time to interact in a way that is meaningful and honest with your child, he or she will almost certainly look to you for your support and wisdom.

I’ve discussed how to give your child reasons to respect and trust you in previous articles of this series, beginning with How Your Attitude Toward Other People Affects Your Child. Another crucial factor is time and schedule. It takes enough margin in your life for important conversations to happen often enough and in a relaxed way for the relationship to grow.

It’s kind of like eating. If you only eat a minimal meal every few days, you will be malnourished and calorie deprived, although possibly still barely alive. If you are always stuffing your food down in a hurry, you will probably get severe indigestion and be cranky.

It can be tempting to add all kinds of activities to a child’s schedule thinking it is good, only to find that the parent-child relationship is being starved as a result. Even with the full schedule, the child will feel a lack of relationship and try to fill the void one way or another. This does not mean the child did not want relationship with the parent, but only that it was not available.

Your goal as a parent should be to be very, very available for relationship. With this relationship, it will be normal for the child to actually ask the parent for friendship advice. The child will also be much more receptive to suggestions about friendships.

With the foundation for communication and relationship in place, there are also some specific strategies for guiding a child in his friendships. This can begin at a young age.