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How to Create and Empower a Bully
[hr]
A nearly fool proof way to protect your child from bullies
There is a good way to protect your child from bullies. The best way to deal with a childhood bully is to keep your child under appropriate parental supervision. Children will gradually learn to be independent and self-controlled. Parents, who usually know their children better than anyone else, are best suited to decide when and how to guide that independence in a way that fosters appropriate learning without putting their children at great risk, either physically or emotionally. Even if they don’t do it perfect every time or have different thresholds for dealing with risk, outside observers (anyone not the parent) should be careful about judging or interfering. Give them room to learn to be parents of their children.
Children are vulnerable. They are not only vulnerable to the elements of nature, they are vulnerable to the elements of society. Just like we do not expect them to comprehend or battle for physical survival, we should not expect them to battle for social standing.
How bullies are created
The common institutional school model denies children consistent parental supervision at times when it would be very helpful. Using claims of providing a social environment, such institutions actually not only limit all manner of relationships, but are a hot bed for creating bullies. As children struggle to find meaningful and lasting relationship in an inherently impersonal system, some children recognize that the lack of real parental supervision gives them the chance to bully other children.
Consider some factors that inhibit real age-appropriate supervision in the institutional setting:
It seems contradictory to on one hand take so many security measures to create a protective border around the outside of schools, yet on the other hand claim that children need to learn to duke it out among themselves (and deal with adults they barely know). And then they claim they are exposing children to “real life.” Why is a relatively impersonal holding tank-type school better than the attentive direction of a parent? Why is a caring parent readily labeled over-protective for doing his or her natural job, while an (usually government-run) organization holding children captive for hours seriously considered to be child-friendly?
Social skills or survival skills?
Children do not learn healthy social skills best in a weird mixture of parental abandonment and dog-pack social structure. Sure, some sort of survival skills will be developed, but that too often involves a power ranking from a young age among children. Young children do not have the emotional or mental maturity to handle such pressure. Without the guidance
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By Laura Blodgett[hr]
A nearly fool proof way to protect your child from bullies
There is a good way to protect your child from bullies. The best way to deal with a childhood bully is to keep your child under appropriate parental supervision. Children will gradually learn to be independent and self-controlled. Parents, who usually know their children better than anyone else, are best suited to decide when and how to guide that independence in a way that fosters appropriate learning without putting their children at great risk, either physically or emotionally. Even if they don’t do it perfect every time or have different thresholds for dealing with risk, outside observers (anyone not the parent) should be careful about judging or interfering. Give them room to learn to be parents of their children.
Children are vulnerable. They are not only vulnerable to the elements of nature, they are vulnerable to the elements of society. Just like we do not expect them to comprehend or battle for physical survival, we should not expect them to battle for social standing.
How bullies are created
The common institutional school model denies children consistent parental supervision at times when it would be very helpful. Using claims of providing a social environment, such institutions actually not only limit all manner of relationships, but are a hot bed for creating bullies. As children struggle to find meaningful and lasting relationship in an inherently impersonal system, some children recognize that the lack of real parental supervision gives them the chance to bully other children.
Consider some factors that inhibit real age-appropriate supervision in the institutional setting:
It seems contradictory to on one hand take so many security measures to create a protective border around the outside of schools, yet on the other hand claim that children need to learn to duke it out among themselves (and deal with adults they barely know). And then they claim they are exposing children to “real life.” Why is a relatively impersonal holding tank-type school better than the attentive direction of a parent? Why is a caring parent readily labeled over-protective for doing his or her natural job, while an (usually government-run) organization holding children captive for hours seriously considered to be child-friendly?
Social skills or survival skills?
Children do not learn healthy social skills best in a weird mixture of parental abandonment and dog-pack social structure. Sure, some sort of survival skills will be developed, but that too often involves a power ranking from a young age among children. Young children do not have the emotional or mental maturity to handle such pressure. Without the guidance