I always felt super uncomfortable when my kids had big emotions. 

Anywhere from tantrums to deep sadness, it felt overwhelming and I felt unprepared.

So my response? Deflect and distract.

"Aww don't feel sad, look here's a toy!"

It seems harmless but it's really dysfunctional. 

I had no clue how to handle my kids emotions because I had no clue how to handle my own.

You can't teach something you don't know how to do. 

I've learned (very imperfectly) how to be supportive of my kids and their feelings without taking it on as my own. 

Their trauma doesn't have to be my trauma. 

My kids have processed some adult sized trauma and I felt so unprepared.

At first it would make me physically ill because I felt so guilty and so responsible. 

That made everything worse and of course they didn't feel safe coming to me with their feelings!

I learned and adapted and took care of my shit so I could support them.

Parenting is one of the biggest eye-openers and can be such a healing tool for us if we let it!

Breaking toxic emotional cycles is the bravest thing we can do!