Women receive mixed messages to be authentic but also to conform, fall in line, fit in. It’s a challenging tightrope to walk but we have solutions. In this episode, learn how to discover your own authenticity, and then how to FLEX so that you can contribute at work in a way that reflects who you are.

 

Subscribe!  Time-stamped show notes are below. 

 

Intro

2:10 Women are told to be authentic but also to conform

2:29 We need to stop trying to change women

3:00 Mixed signals start at birth

5:05 Girls are trained to smile, be pleasant, play well with others

6:00 Sometimes we don’t know who we are

 

Episode Breakdown

6:19 In today’s episode we will discuss:

1. What is authenticity and what are tips for you to best discover who you are
2. Why is authenticity at work critical 
3. How can you navigate between being authentic and the pressure to conform or fit in

6:40  Tracy J. Edmonds author of Wild Hair

 

Tips to Discover Your Authenticity

9:20  Definitions of authentic

Webster's definition

10:35 Uncover authenticity by asking

• who or what you trust
• what you cherish
• what brings meaning and purpose to your life
• what gives you peace

Dr. Nithila Peter of eiLeads

12:45 (Cathy), 16:12 (Deborah) Who or what you trust answers

18:22 (Deborah), 19:50 (Cathy) What do you cherish answers

22:20 (Cathy), 24:40 (Deborah) What brings meaning and purpose to your life answers

28:25 (Deborah), 29:28 (Cathy) What gives you peace answers

30:46 (Cathy), 32:05 (Deborah) 3 characteristics or values 

35:05 Strengths Finder by Tom Rath

35:30 Women have to prove themselves over and over again

How to Understand Unconscious Bias So We Can See Women

 

Why Authenticity Matters at Work

36:36 Inauthenticity akes you feel uncomfortable

36:58 Story of friend rated poorly because she was being authentic

38:15 ⅓ employees feel pressure to conform

How to Be More Authentic at Work by Dr. Patricia Hewlin

38:30 Examples are:

-parents downplay importance of parenting

-employees won’t wear clothing reflecting their religion 

-people stay silent on social justice issues 

-people don’t speak up about inequity or workplace microaggressions

38:58 We learn when to smile, frown, nod

How to Be More Authentic at Work by Dr. Patricia Hewlin

39:27 Being authentic improves marketing skills

 

How to Express Authenticity - Flexing

40:20 What is flexing

40:38 Tips for those early in career 

40:52 Tips for interviews

41:40 Using authenticity to nudge culture in the right direction 

42:01 Examples:

-Don’t like sports

-Social justice issue matters to you

-Challenges with parenting

42:28 Tip for allies

42:45 Flex through vulnerability

42:50 What is vulnerability

Books by Dr. Brene Brown

43:30 Dr. Brene Brown 2010 Ted Talk: The Power of Vulnerability

43:44 Vulnerability births innovation, creativity, change

Vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation, and change by Dr. Brene Brown

44:35 Importance of:

Sharing new ideas at work

Disagreeing with someone at work

Admitting that you made a mistake

46:36 Risks of flexing authenticity

47:40 Leaders should model authenticity

 

48:20 Parity in Play

48:34 Afghan women and girls

CSIS article

48:54 Girls barred from secondary school

BBC article

49:10 Unconscious bias in the US

How to Understand Unconscious Bias So We Can See Women

Unconscious Bias: Hidden Forces Undermining Women at Work

 

Where You Can Find Us

Website: www.par-ity.com 

Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn

Co-Hosts: Deborah Pollack-Milgate and Cathy Nestrick 

Contributor: Dr. Nithila Peter of eiLeads

Email [email protected] with questions or comments