There is nothing quite like parenting to expose our weaknesses and flaws. Every strength we thought we had is challenged. Every selfishness will be revealed. Every inadequacy tempts us to self pity.

Yet, the model is for a child to be born to two people with no prior parenting experience. True, some people have had extensive experience with younger siblings or have taken care of other people’s children. However, it is never the same as the responsibility and delight of parenthood. And while it is helpful when there are friends and family to lend emotional support and occasional live action help, the parents will bear the load of parenting.

Children were designed for long term care. This has a uniquely human potential for relationship with parents. It makes it possible for families to grow together in ways they would not if children were out of the nest every year like little birds.

Everyone comes to parenting with different advantages and disadvantages. We all have to learn to appropriately use our advantages and overcome our disadvantages to the best of our abilities. No matter what background we come from, we all have an innate sense of our children needing to be nurtured and guided.

There are both helpful and harmful cultural norms that parents would do well to examine. It helps a lot to learn to see through misinformation and manipulation. There are those who would try to insert themselves between parent and child.

But no one human being knows how to or can care for ALL the children of the world. There is no cookie cutter method of training or educating all the children. These are principles, but these have to be applied in creative ways. It takes knowing a child personally to get insight into his needs, strengths, and desires. It takes deeply relational communication to answer the most important questions of life or to help in difficult times. It takes a parent.

If you love your children and honestly want what is best for them, give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Give yourself room to learn and problem solve, because this is obviously how it is set up especially for first time parents. Then, keep in mind that you are always parenting any given child for the first time.

Aim for a humble confidence. Be confident that you are capable of being a good parent. Be humble about the need to problem solve on a regular basis.

Don’t confuse adult-adult relationships with parent-child relationships. Children are not little adults to be given all the same personal freedoms. Children are immature humans that need both protection fr