How to feel good about yourself while dating...

1. Remember that dating is a problematic means to a glorious end.

Just because it feels interminable doesn’t mean it won’t end. Just because it can be extremely hard doesn’t mean it won’t result in more ease, more softness, and extreme delight. Just because it can be the loneliest thing you ever do, doesn’t mean it won’t lead to the most comforting, enriching, supportive connection you’ve ever known.

2. Respect your time.

Because dating can be time-consuming, make a commitment to be a protective guardian of your time. The more you value yourself, the more others will value you.

3. Respect your energy.

The catch-22 is that dating can drain your energy, and the more drained you are, the more draining connections you encounter. Commit to breaking this pattern by being a gorgeous steward of your own energy. Keep your spirits up by doing things that energise you before and after engaging with dating.

4. Write down what you’re looking for and cross-reference it often!

5. Give yourself what you’re looking for. Love, commitment, respect, compliments.

6. Date mindfully and body-fully.

7. Commit to a grounding practice before and after opening a dating app.

This could be as simple as:

Before:

Put your hands on your heart and say “I am worthy of a great love story. This is just a quick peek into a room full of people to see if anyone piques my interest today.”

After:

Put your hands on your heart and say “This is just a tiny moment in a rich, rewarding and fulfilling life of uplifting connections, which I’m building all the time. This is no reflection of the wonders that await. Wonders never cease.”

8. Pull your energy away from the future and focus on what you can impact now.

9. Remind yourself of the facts:

- Being single is a natural part of life.

- Looking for partnership is vulnerable and courageous.

- Nothing that has come before is any indication of what is to come.

- You belong, you are worthy, you are pure love and you deserve committed, fun, harmonious, passionate, loving partnership.

10. If you want to be someone else’s priority, make yourself a priority first.

Commit to weekly practices that connect you to your favourite things and help you feel supported, nourished and connected.

~

For more dating solidarity, subscribe to my weekly newsletter or follow me on Instagram.  

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit datingsolidarity.substack.com