Inspired by this post from Rachel Mae, Kasey and Ashleigh discuss how to process, address and move on from receiving feedback that is potentially sexist.

SHOW NOTES

#FiercelyFemaleFriday

-After seeing this LinkedIn post from Rachel Mae, Kasey and Ashleigh were prompted to look at the LinkedIn sales community. There are men that have massive followings that are wearing t shirts in their videos and don’t receive the same feedback to dress up. They also made their own bare-faced videos, watch Kasey’s here and Ashleigh’s here.

“Dumb Blonde”

-Ashleigh’s coach pulled her aside after a high school speech and debate competition and said that she wouldn’t receive one of her score cards because the judge had called her a “dumb blonde” and therefore everything else he had to say was irrelevant. Someone can and will get hung up on your appearance and miss the message.

Dressing up for Work

-As you get older, it’s not uncommon to feel more confident with less makeup on because you’re more confident in the quality of your work and expertise, so you don’t feel the need to makeup for that in appearance. Find the balance between what is appropriate for you and makes you feel the best within the context of what’s appropriate for your work environment.

What is Sexist Feedback

-A telltale sign that the feedback you’re receiving is sexist is if it’s superficial or about the way you present rather than your work or the efficacy of what you’re doing. If it’s still unclear, ask yourself whether this person would say something similar to someone that doesn’t look like you.

Moving Past It

-Have a network of people that you can rely on and reach out to for a “sanity check”. Try to present the situation as objectively as possible so that you can get as unbiased an opinion as possible.

-You need to be able to take a hard look at the situation and make the decision as to whether the criticism was justified or not. It’s possible that you did do something somewhat unprofessional and the response was warranted.

Reporting

-Decipher whether this sort of criticism speaks to solely a specific moment or more to the overall work environment by looking at the severity, frequency, and ubiquity. If this is indicative of the culture of the entire company, reporting might not get you very far because the truth is that HR exists to protect the company.

-When it comes to legal council and support know that once a lawyer takes your money, everything you say is protected by client privilege and that timely documentation trumps all. One of the best things you can do is shoot a text to a friend right after the incident and tell them verbatim what was said so that you have a witness and timestamp.

Perspective

-It’s not up to white men to tell you what is sexist or racist, but know that you need to also be willing to check your own ego of what is or isn’t discriminatory. Recognize that other people see things through a different lens and theirs might be more accurate than yours.

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