Being there for your kids

How to Handle the Stubborn Child


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Every child goes through a stubborn time or two...or three or four... Stubborn attitude is actually a good thing in moderation. It's your child's way of asserting herself, testing her wings, defining her personal identity. It's also a challenge to your authority, a stalling tactic, and can lead to relational distance. As the parent, you can use your power and ascribed authority to make her do what you say. Sadly, while you could do that, you would likely lose emotional intimacy with her. Alternatively, you can use your relationship to help her work through her stubborn streak and make it a teachable moment. After using active listening to lower her emotional fever, with permission, give her agreeable options that help her do what you want her to do. When she yields and complies, be sure to thank her for her cooperation and "big girl" decision. Yep. That's a teachable moment.

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Being there for your kidsBy Jonathan C. Robinson, PhD