When you see an orgasm depicted in TV, film, or even porn, you can be virtually certain it was faked. This can feed misconceptions about there being a “correct” way to orgasm. In reality, orgasms are complex phenomena that can result from a wide range of stimuli, and they are orchestrated primarily by the brain, not only the genitals.

Sex educator Emily Nagoski emphasizes the importance of familiarizing yourself with the full spectrum of pleasurable and arousing experiences, not just orgasms. Shifting focus from orgasms to overall pleasure can alleviate pressure, potentially leading to improved sexual experiences and, paradoxically, better orgasms.

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About Emily Nagoski:

Emily Nagoski is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestselling Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook, and coauthor, with her sister, Amelia, of New York Times bestseller Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. She earned an M.S. In counseling and a Ph.D. In health behavior, both from Indiana University, with clinical and research training at the Kinsey Institute. Now she combines sex education and stress education to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. She lives in Massachusetts with two dogs, a cat, and a cartoonist.

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