*Handouts*
Welcome

I have watched relationships die…  

-Texts get shorter
-Conversations get colder
-Connection fades
-Until finally – nothing.

Some relationships don’t explode – they slowly lose oxygen.

You can be in the same room and still feel miles apart.

Some of biggest regrets are dead relationships.

Am I the only one?

This is not a rare problem.

Uh Oh… We Have a Problem

If you have a relationship problem – YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

We don’t just have a divorce problem
We have a dead relationship problem

We don’t even try to fix relationships anymore…

We know how to block, mute, cut off, move on, unfriend, unfollow, snooze.
We don’t know how to repair.

When the Relationship Is Dead – How to Start Again

God cares about this subject.
Jesus shows us how to repair relationships in John 21.

Before we read – understand the moment.

Peter:

How will Jesus respond to the denier who went back?

Jesus shows up on the shore.

Not with a lecture
Not with anger
With breakfast

Fish on the fire
Bread ready
A seat waiting

Jesus creates space for a conversation

He’s not coming to cancel Peter
He’s coming to restore him

John 21:15-17
15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.

Curious conversation.
Jesus is repeating himself…
Peter is repeating himself…
What is even going on?

4 THINGS JESUS DOES TO RESURRECT A RELATIONSHIP

1. Jesus made the first move

Before Peter moved toward Jesus.
Jesus had already moved toward Peter.

Jesus Breakfast – Fish, Bread, Fire
Effort

Dead relationships don’t come back by accident
Someone makes a move

Jesus tries again, and again, and again

2. Jesus chose conversation over conclusion

Not:

Jesus keeps talking… reaching…

We tend to jump to conclusions
We assume
We shut the door
We end the story

We close the case
Jesus opens the conversation

3. Jesus meets Peter where he is

Remember the strange conversation…?

Love Is Often Lost in Translation

This explains the strange conversation.

John 21:15-17 (altered)
15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you agapaō me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I phileō you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you agapaō me?”|
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I phileō you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you phileō me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you phileō me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I phileō you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.

3. Jesus meets Peter where he is

Jesus agapaō  –  Peter phileō

These loves are not the same…
Peter could not meet the level of love that Jesus had…

These loves are not the same… but HONEST
Jesus will receive the honest love you can give… and grow you from there

None of our love measures up to Jesus… but can we give honest love…? Allow him to grow us.

4. Jesus restores purpose

“Feed my sheep”

Peter messed up
God’s purpose didn’t. Calling. Gifting.

Peter failed
but Peter wasn’t finished

Grace is not just “you’re forgiven”
Grace is “you still matter”

That is how Jesus treated Peter… where do we start?

START HERE

1. Make the first move

Do we realize how important making the first move is?

Matthew 5:23–24 (NIV)
23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

Israelites would travel to Jerusalem… 

Leave your gift
Go make it right
Then come back

Reconciliation matters so much
Jesus says pause worship to fix it

Don’t sing like everything is fine
while avoiding what needs to be faced

2. Start up the conversation

You’ve had arguments
with people who weren’t even there

We do EVERYTHING BUT have the conversation.

Maybe the most spiritual thing you do this week is start the conversation

Not to win
Not to prove
Not to control

To open the door

Replace your made up story with a actual conversation

3. Restore someone

Someone around you thinks their story is over

Call them!
Speak life
Offer grace
Point them forward

Don’t treat people like they’re finished
 

Imagine with me…

People aren’t disposable
so relationships shouldn’t be either

But Jesus still shows up
Jesus still starts the conversation
Jesus still makes room

This is the Good news for you
Jesus died for your sin
Jesus rose again
Your failure is not final

This is your day.

If you’ve never confessed faith in Jesus, this is your day
If you’re ready to be free from your past, this is your day
If you’re ready to walk with Jesus, this is your day
Call to Action

1. Step out and reach out

Not just new believers
Anyone who needs help

Don’t hold back if God is calling you forward

2. Start the conversation

3. Take your next step

Prayer requests
Next step
Start a conversation with the church