Paul is a pizza MANIAC and chaos / new vibes agent who brings his endless creativity to this discussion of friendship. In this conversation, we chat about the relational self, how memory and daydreaming can improve friendship, and the transitive properties of pizza parties.

We also discuss imaginary friends and how learning new things from one friendship can spread excitement and connection into a different group in your friendship ecosystem.

*A quick sidenote, as part of my first interviews ever, I called on some friends from an art group that is called CATT. If you hear us mention that, it's an acronym, not an animal.

About the guest:

Paul is a writer, artist, and a longtime expert in RPGs who makes killer maps for Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay (WFRP).

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About the host:

Keri is an avid connoisseur of different friendship phenotypes. She spends her free time cataloguing and making up strangely practical explanations for the confounding social phenomena and everyday weirdness of friendship. She is not a doctor or a scientist. She's just a writer, artist, and nerd that has a knack for paying attention, solving problems with systems and charts, and drawing monsters.

Blog and Socials:

https://friendmanual.com

https://www.youtube.com/@friendmanual

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A note on perfectionism, truth, and continuity. This podcast is about learning about different ways that friendship shows up in this endlessly complicated world. There is no hard and fast truth in friendship, and seeking nuance invites us to find and make peace with contradiction. There may be epiphanies that resolve internal conflict that don't hold up to scrutiny. Or things that seem empirically sound that turn out to be wrong in practice. What works for one person may not work for someone else. During interviews we may test out things in the moment that are great for an exploring conversation, but don't hold up long-term. My aim is to understand and validate my own and other people's experience, which may make me contradict myself. I'm certain I will wish I said something different many, many times. I hope I will change my mind over time, because that means I'm learning.

This podcast is solely the opinions of the host and guests.

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The intro/outro music is -- "Buckle Up Buttercup" by Bunker Buster, all rights reserved.

In this solo episode, I look into how to identify friendship in a way that is more expansive and utilitarian.

Why is this a good idea? Well, for some people, the traditional way we talk about friendship doesn't match their experience and it can lead them to think they may be less successful at friending than they actually are. For others, it can give them insight into why friendship feels off, or why it seems so intuitive for them and not others.

Just in case you don't have a pen handy, here is the friendship definition I mention in the episode.

Friendship is: (1) the presence of elevated bonding chemicals (2) in two or more parties that is (3) reliably repeated over time (4) as a result of interconnected behaviors that (5) reinforce a friendship social schema.

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About the host:

Keri is an avid connoisseur of different friendship phenotypes. She spends her free time cataloguing and making up strangely practical explanations for the confounding social phenomena and everyday weirdness of friendship. She is not a doctor or a scientist. She's just a writer, artist, and nerd that has a knack for paying attention, solving problems with systems and charts, and drawing monsters.

Blog and Socials:

https://friendmanual.com

https://www.youtube.com/@friendmanual

* * * * *

A note on perfectionism, truth, and continuity. This podcast is about learning about different ways that friendship shows up in this endlessly complicated world. There is no hard and fast truth in friendship, and seeking nuance invites us to find and make peace with contradiction. There may be epiphanies that resolve internal conflict that don't hold up to scrutiny. Or things that seem empirically sound that turn out to be wrong in practice. What works for one person may not work for someone else. During interviews we may test out things in the moment that are great for an exploring conversation, but don't hold up long-term. My aim is to understand and validate my own and other people's experience, which may make me contradict myself. I'm certain I will wish I said something different many, many times. I hope I will change my mind over time, because that means I'm learning.

This podcast is solely the opinions of the host and guests.

* * * *

The intro/outro music is -- "Buckle Up Buttercup" by Bunker Buster, all rights reserved.

This week I have a conversation with Rob! Join us for a wide-ranging conversation that includes how to stay authentic while meeting new people, knockaround friends, and the curse of agreeableness.

Rob approaches friendship with good humor discussing how being too adaptable in early friendship can backfire and how to reclaim some of the good things from childhood friendships.

We also decide that making an ungraceful early exit and accepting life changes with aplomb can make you a modern-day hero. Really. Definitely. Maybe.

*A quick sidenote, as part of my first interviews ever, I called on some friends from an art group that is called CATT. If you hear us mention that, it's an acronym, not an animal.

**This excellent conversation was originally recorded in 2022 when I first tried to start this podcast. But life got in the way. Good news is that the art group is still going strong!

* * * * *

About the guest:

Rob is a writer-type wanderer person who brings excellent jokes and even better metaphors wherever he goes.

* * * *

About the host:

Keri is an avid connoisseur of different friendship phenotypes. She spends her free time cataloguing and making up strangely practical explanations for the confounding social phenomena and everyday weirdness of friendship. She is not a doctor or a scientist. She's just a writer, artist, and nerd that has a knack for paying attention, solving problems with systems and charts, and drawing monsters.

Blog and Socials:

https://friendmanual.com

https://www.youtube.com/@friendmanual

* * * * *

A note on perfectionism, truth, and continuity. This podcast is about learning about different ways that friendship shows up in this endlessly complicated world. There is no hard and fast truth in friendship, and seeking nuance invites us to find and make peace with contradiction. There may be epiphanies that resolve internal conflict that don't hold up to scrutiny. Or things that seem empirically sound that turn out to be wrong in practice. What works for one person may not work for someone else. During interviews we may test out things in the moment that are great for an exploring conversation, but don't hold up long-term. My aim is to understand and validate my own and other people's experience, which may make me contradict myself. I'm certain I will wish I said something different many, many times. I hope I will change my mind over time, because that means I'm learning.

This podcast is solely the opinions of the host and guests.

* * * *

The intro/outro music is -- "Buckle Up Buttercup" by Bunker Buster, all rights reserved.

Technically...I was supposed to launch this podcast a week from now.

Due to the delight of modern technology, I ended up publishing the intro two weeks early. But now that gives me an opportunity to send out this quick little note!

After recording almost all ten episodes for this season, I found I had some things to say to orient listeners to stuff I had already started to learn while creating this podcast. So, here it is!

* * * *

About the host:

Keri is an avid connoisseur of different friendship phenotypes. She spends her free time cataloguing and making up strangely practical explanations for the confounding social phenomena and everyday weirdness of friendship. She is not a doctor or a scientist. She's just a writer, artist, and nerd that has a knack for paying attention, solving problems with systems and charts, and drawing monsters.

Blog and Socials:

https://friendmanual.com

https://www.youtube.com/@friendmanual

* * * * *

A note on perfectionism, truth, and continuity. This podcast is about learning about different ways that friendship shows up in this endlessly complicated world. There is no hard and fast truth in friendship, and seeking nuance invites us to find and make peace with contradiction. There may be epiphanies that resolve internal conflict that don't hold up to scrutiny. Or things that seem empirically sound that turn out to be wrong in practice. What works for one person may not work for someone else. During interviews we may test out things in the moment that are great for an exploring conversation, but don't hold up long-term. My aim is to understand and validate my own and other people's experience, which may make me contradict myself. I'm certain I will wish I said something different many, many times. I hope I will change my mind over time, because that means I'm learning.

This podcast is solely the opinions of the host and guests.

* * * *

The intro/outro music is -- "Buckle Up Buttercup" by Bunker Buster, all rights reserved.

Friendship is fascinating, don't you think?

I believe that friendship is one of the most important things out there and that it deserves more attention than it gets. I'm on a mission to discuss friendship with as many different people as possible. I want to know how they experience it and how it shows up in their life.

I also want to share my thoughts about friendship and all its weird little components and how you can make friends when you're bad at it.

In this introductory single player episode, I talk about why on earth I'd want to start a podcast when there are already so many out there, why I think friendship is so darned important, and make the case for learning about friendship from someone who is "bad" at it.

This podcast is going to be a fairly even mix of interviews and think pieces that explore friendship concepts. I hope you'll join me for the ride.

* * * *

About the host:

Keri is an avid connoisseur of different friendship phenotypes. She spends her free time cataloguing and making up strangely practical explanations for the confounding social phenomena and everyday weirdness of friendship. She is not a doctor or a scientist. She's just a writer, artist, and nerd that has a knack for paying attention, solving problems with systems and charts, and drawing monsters.

Blog and Socials:

https://friendmanual.com

https://www.youtube.com/@friendmanual

* * * * *

A note on perfectionism, truth, and continuity. This podcast is about learning about different ways that friendship shows up in this endlessly complicated world. There is no hard and fast truth in friendship, and seeking nuance invites us to find and make peace with contradiction. There may be epiphanies that resolve internal conflict that don't hold up to scrutiny. Or things that seem empirically sound that turn out to be wrong in practice. What works for one person may not work for someone else. During interviews we may test out things in the moment that are great for an exploring conversation, but don't hold up long-term. My aim is to understand and validate my own and other people's experience, which may make me contradict myself. I'm certain I will wish I said something different many, many times. I hope I will change my mind over time, because that means I'm learning.

This podcast is solely the opinions of the host and guests.

* * * *

The intro/outro music is -- "Buckle Up Buttercup" by Bunker Buster, all rights reserved.