During this call, Crystal chats with Sarah.
After joining the call, Sarah tells Crystal that she feels as though her 'father wound' has manifested itself into her relationships and the way she views men, and that she's "secretly" upset with her dad. It's a secret, she says, more so to herself, as she never wants to deal with the feelings around it and often pushes them down.
She shares that she's never met her father and has only spoken to him one time on the phone when she was 18-years-old; a conversation that left her disappointed.
As Sarah opens up, Crystal learns that her home life growing up with her mom was an often oppressed environment. Her mother had bipolar disorder. Anytime Sarah spoke about anything that upset her, including her feelings around her absentee father, it triggered her mother into an episode of mania or depression. With her mother's mental health issues and struggle with drug abuse, her two older siblings were put up for adoption as small children before Sarah was born, something that too has caused heartache within her family.
As a result of her childhood, Sarah often silences her feelings in an effort to not "rock the boat" — a feeling she describes like a shaken soda bottle, over time eventually exploding. And after doing so, feeling ashamed for it.
Crystal asks Sarah to think about the last time she got really angry — which Sarah says is not often. She recalls a time earlier in the year when she and her newly separated husband had a blow out over her wanting him to put more effort in with their children and evenly share their responsibilities, which he dismissed and shamed her for.
As they dive into this topic, Crystal learns that this is where a lot of her heartache is harbored right now, as she wants her children to have a happy, healthy relationship with their father; something she never had.
Crystal urges Sarah to reconsider the way she's communicating with her ex. She also asks her to write a letter, practicing how she's going to approach him in a reasonable and empowered way, so that they can move forward as parents harmoniously and help their three little children be the most loved, healthy, and happy they can be.