282 - How To Overcome Fear of Confrontation

Early on I learned from my Dad that if you want something in life you better go get it because nothing will ever be handed to me.   He also taught me the importance of “going for the close” also known as asking for the business. Humans tend to spend a great deal of time thinking about what they want and more time coming up with reasons they cannot get what they want. Such thoughts often lead us down a rabbit hole of doubt which eventually leads to our belief that whatever we want is behind some sort of roadblock that we won’t be able to overcome. Here are a few examples of what I am referring to: Not applying for deal funding because you don’t feel you will be approved. Not wanting to answer the phone when a potentially motivated seller calls because you don’t know what to say to them. Being resistant to spend any time with a seller in fear you will look stupid by asking questions or not feeling like you know the right questions to ask. Refusing to make offers in fear of being rejected. Feeling that a larger valued deal is “too big” or “too expensive” for you to handle. Fear of being rejected by a seller or Realtor because you “can’t afford” to buy anything worth having. What I just mentioned only scratches the surface as you might imagine. Here’s the reality of what’s happening in the seller’s mind: Did I overprice this property? Will people heckle me or be mean if I overprice my property? What if I put a sign-out and nobody shows up? Well, I could drop the price but then I’d be admitting I overpriced the property to begin with and therefore look stupid for sure! How do I really know I am getting a fair price for my property? What if I sell it too cheap? If it sells too fast doesn’t that mean I sold it too cheap? If I think I sold it too cheap can I back out of the deal? What if buyers bring Covid into my home I don’t have the energy to clean up or organize and buyers coming through will judge me as a nasty mess for not being clean. How do I know if I picked the right Realtor? Should I even hire a Realtor or do it myself and “save the commission” What if we are not yet at the top of the market, I wonder if I should wait a little longer? Landlord Sellers think: Buyers walking through my units will anger my tenants If my tenants know the property is for sale they will all move out suddenly What if the new landlords make my tenants move out suddenly? All of this leads up to one thing...STRESS!! Now that we covered all that, I think it is fair to say that both buyers and sellers are under tremendous pressure when trying to complete a real estate transaction. Regardless of the current market conditions, the most effective way to overcome the majority of these issues is to position yourself as transparent. Be approachable, be willing to sit down with your fellow human, look them in the eye and work through the process. No matter how hot or cold a market is, there will always be buyers and sellers with problems to solve. In 2021 face to face has become a less popular option but services like Zoom and other apps make it easy to communicate with others via video or audio. Use these services, open up dialogue and talk things out. When I am brokering a property sale transaction for a buyer or seller, I encourage all parties to get on the phone or meet in person to negotiate the transaction. I want active participation from all parties. It’s these meetings that bring forth the best results for all parties in most cases. I realize that for many the thought of sitting down face to face with “the other side” as they say may be terrifying. I assure you that if you give it a try you will likely be pleasantly surprised by the end results. I also realize that many people simply won’t agree to an open discussion or negotiation due to the crippling fear of confrontation. Regardless I ask you at least try by asking for a meeting, the worst thing that can happen is the other party would say no. Please know that the other party is as scared or nervous as you are.