Yesterday was a pretty tough day for me. If I can be completely honest. I couldn't shake this sense of fear that I had, that things were never going to work out and that we were going to lose everything. And I want to talk to you about how I handled that, because when we're faced with that kind of fear, we have two big ways of responding to it.
[00:00:20] Number one, we can wallow in fear and. Get paralyzed and not be able to move forward. Or number two, we can face it and take certain actions that are going to help us overcome. So I'm going to share with you today what I did to help overcome the fear that I had yesterday and put myself into a much better place today where I'm excited.
[00:00:43]I am hopeful and I'm being driven by positivity and not fear.
[00:00:48]
[00:00:48] So yesterday I released eight podcast episodes and I did a new show with my photographers called the bright side show, where I focused on the wonderful positive things that were happening in the photography industry. And I just got stuff done. Like we are talking one of the most productive days ever, and by mid afternoon I was starting to feel a lot of anxiety because I was doing all this stuff. And it wasn't working. Like my industry is struggling in such a big way right now. So even though I'm able to help photographers book clients, because there are still people booking clients, most people don't believe it's possible.
[00:01:46] And so they're not even trying. They're even discouraging other people from trying. And it's so frustrating to see that. And I just got really down seeing that. and even when they are booking clients, like they're keeping the money because they need to, things are really tough right now and they're not buying my course.
[00:02:05]I've had a bunch of people cancel and my membership because money is suddenly tight without all the sales and the clients that they normally have. we're down at least, I think we're down about 20% right now. If I, if my really quick glance at the numbers is somewhat accurate. And it's a scary place to be.
[00:02:20] And so I was doing all of this work and just feeling like it wasn't going to go anywhere. And so the question at the forefront of the mind and my mind, so the question at the forefront of my mind was, how long do I keep doing this? How long do I keep pushing and pushing and pushing. And just seeing results drop.
[00:02:43] I mean, seeing my income go down, seeing no new sales coming in, like when do I throw in the towel and make a massive pivot and how do I do that? Like I have a photography audience. I don't have a massive audience in the entrepreneur space. You listening right now, this podcast is the only thing I've done intentionally to really try and serve entrepreneurs.
[00:03:08] Or anyone outside of the photography business. And so it was kind of daunting. Like I've always wanted to work with entrepreneurs, and that's what part of why I love personal brand photography is because I get to serve both entrepreneurs and photographers, but I haven't ever really went after that directly because one, I believe that having focus and consistency in a business is one of the most important traits you can have.
[00:03:33] And I didn't want to get distracted by it, but to. The photography stuff has always made us the money. I mean, I've been doing that since 2011 it's been fully supporting our families since 2011 and so there was never really time or space to go after a new market or new clients or do something completely new where I'd have to start audience building from scratch.
[00:03:57] Because this is where we needed to put our focus. This is what I needed to spend my time on because we don't have other outside income. This fully supports my entire family, all our benefits, everything. And so stepping outside of the realm that I was used to doing and used to serving that was supporting us felt really risky.
[00:04:17]. In fact, this podcast has been my pet project to really be able to serve entrepreneurs. And I know like the more you understand the value of personal branding, the more likely you're going to be to hire a personal brand photographer. So it builds the entire industry.
[00:04:33] But I haven't really done much of anything to monetize this podcast, and it's been the thing that's gone on the back burner when things were really busy in the business doing other things because it wasn't a moneymaker. And sometimes you just got to put your head down and focus on the things that make money So I found myself really anxious and I saw all of this frantic work, which made me feel better because I accomplished something. But it wasn't getting results and I kept hearing the story go through my head every once in a while when I was talking to other people. You've heard it here on the podcast, or even just as I was thinking through stuff, I kept hearing we might lose everything.
[00:05:13]Go through my head and there's absolutely the possibility that we might lose everything, but that was starting to replay in my head over and over again. Now, I came to a really healthy acceptance of that fact a couple of days ago where I'm like, you know what? It's all stuff. It doesn't matter. It's, I mean.
[00:05:33] First world problems truly to, , have to downgrade your house and your living situation or whatever else. Not a big deal. , I mean, if we can come out of this healthy, I'm going to be thrilled. so I came to a healthy acceptance of that, but when it came to what I was hearing happening in my mind, those voices, those stories that we tell ourselves in our mind.
[00:05:53]It was coming up more often than I liked and I wasn't hearing the narrative of this might be the best thing ever. We might come out of this much stronger than we ever were. All I was hearing was we might lose everything and it was. Really putting deep fear and anxiety into me in a deep way, like super deep way.
[00:06:14] I was stuck in my head and it was just giving me this low level of anxiety underneath the surface that I could feel was building and welling up. And so when I start to get that way, I know the best thing I can do is to get out of my head and get into my body. . Now. I didn't appreciate this in the past.
[00:06:33] I didn't really understand the value of being active and really feeling how my body feels until, I don't know, six to nine months ago. Last summer I did a lot of physical activity and it brought so much stillness into my life and so much peace into my life. And I found that it was one of the best ways to raise my spirits.
[00:06:54] I mean, it's chemical. You get all the endorphins. It just makes you feel phenomenal when you're done.
[00:06:59]So when I'm particularly anxious or stressed out or just feeling like junk, getting out for a walk or a run or a ski or whatever it is, getting out and moving my body and really being in my body is one of the best things I've found to do. It helps me get out of my head. It helps me find peace and it helps me really calm all of the craziness that's going on.
[00:07:25]So it was really actually kind of fun because I got out on the trail and I felt like junk and I was so down on myself because, , I have a 50K race in the books for may. If that's going to happen, I doubt it'll happen. And I knew that I was going to have to do a lot of training to really build up to being able to do a 50 K trail race in may. And there weren't a lot of weeks between my big ski and the trail race. We're right in the middle of all of it right now.
[00:07:49] And so I went out on the trail and there's still tons of snow and I just, I felt awful and I just got really down on myself for a minute. And then I actually remembered. Episode five from the season two where I talked about how , you can't judge things by the first mile.
[00:08:04] the start is always the hardest. And I was thinking about how even in this. Pandemic, how we've come into it doesn't determine how we're going to come out of it. It was like I was listening to my own lessons and hearing it again for myself in a new light, and I realized that I needed that message that just because I came into this scared and just because they came into this with a business that is failing didn't mean that I was going to fail or that this wasn't going to take off some other way and that.
[00:08:34] It wasn't an indicator of how I'm going to go through it. So as I was out there, I came across this big opening in the snow . where there's a little bit of water going through and a bunch of rocks, and I was able to go down into it. It's about 18 inches down, and I just listened to the water running and dripping
[00:08:51] and I sat there and listened to it for probably a good 15 minutes. Just feeling the peace, feeling that calmness, feeling that stillness. And settling myself, and that felt. Amazing. And then I kept going and I was listening to this book from Glennon Doyle called untamed, which by the way, is freaking amazing.
[00:09:18] I cannot recommend it enough. It'll really help you figure out who you are, what you really want in life, and really help undo a lot of the constructs that you probably don't even realize you have that we get when we're young and from our culture. That's fantastic. But one of the things that she does is she talks about writing a new story, like what is it you really want?
[00:09:41] And I've always known how powerful writing and journaling is, and I, I was still disturbed by this. The story going through my head. things not working out. And so I realized I wanted to take this journal prompt that she gave us for our life and use it in the context of our business. ,
[00:10:01] so when I came back home from my snowshoe, I felt 100% better, by the way, and I didn't feel nearly as bad after that first mile. Just to put things in perspective. But I went in and I talked to my husband and I just said, Hey, can I spend the night out in our cabin? So we have a guest house, it's, we call it our cabin.
[00:10:18] And normally we have guests who stay here for free, but right now with all the virus stuff, it's wide open. And so I said, I just need some time to think and to journal because I've been so frenetically moving and doing and taking action. That I haven't really sat down and thought about what I would do if this doesn't work in a really practical way.
[00:10:40] I mean, I'd talk to the bank. We've looked at the finances, and I faced where we are right now and what is going on, which is a huge win for me in the past. I just want to avoid that, but I knew that if I was going to move forward with any ability to think, I had to know. Because if I didn't know, it would just paralyze me with fear and I'd think it's worse than it is.
[00:10:59] I don't really think it could get much worse than it is, but , it would just paralyze me. So I faced that, which was great, but I was keeping myself so busy in the hopes of what I had done before continuing to work. If I just put enough effort into it, and it's not that I needed some time to regroup and to rewrite that story in my head about us potentially failing.
[00:11:21]And so I came to the cabin and it's, it's right on our land. I walk, I don't know, 50 feet from the house to get to it, and I sat down with my journal. And I took the time to rewrite my story and I did this. I literally wrote it out because there's studies that show that when you write something down, you begin to believe it.
[00:11:45] I believe it was in influence by Robert Cialdini where they talk about the power of writing things down and the consistency principle, but I'm pulling that out from the top of my head. So fact check it before you quote me on that. I'm not going to fact check it right now because I'm in get her done mode.
[00:12:03] But just I think that's where it's at and I really started to say, okay, what is it about this story of failing that actually serves me? Like why does my mind keep going to that idea? What there's gotta be something there that might have some benefit. there's some obvious things like, , the financial burden to keep our family afloat will be much less because we wouldn't have nearly as many monthly expenses.
[00:12:29] Now the reason we're here is for this cabin. It's to provide a place for family, friends, people in ministry to come and rest and find rest.
[00:12:38] And I love that we do that, but having this place is really expensive. It's not a cheap place. And so there's a part of me that feels like it's a really heavy burden to bear, even though I feel so strongly that we're meant to be here and be doing this, and I love that we do that, but that's a benefit.
[00:12:55] Like if we fail and lose everything, then whatever we do next would be so much easier to sustain because it wouldn't be nearly as expensive. So when you have those fears and those stories, it's really helpful to ask yourself. What are some of the ways that these fears actually serve us? Why is that kind of appealing for our mind?
[00:13:15] And I just wrote down as many benefits as I could think of of us failing, which sounds really weird, but it was really super helpful. Then I also wrote down all of the lies that were flying through my head about why this might be happening, about, , myself and my abilities and all of the stuff. I just got it out and some of it was like.
[00:13:35] Embarrassing to even write out into a journal that nobody else will ever read. Just because I couldn't believe I was having those thoughts, but getting them out of my head was so helpful. the question that really helped the most was this question from Glennon Doyle's book untamed, which was what's the most beautiful and true story I can imagine about my business during this time?
[00:14:00] Now that's modified a little bit from her actual question in the book, and I'll let you go read the book on your own to get the full version of that question, because it is a beautiful book and you should read it. , but I sat and journaled about it and I thought about the experience that I wanted to have and I thought about me in a year from now and a year from now. When I look back on this time. What will I wish I have done? Like how do I want to have approached it? Because in the moment it's really easy to get totally paralyzed by fear, but taking that time to say, who do I want to be during this?
[00:14:38] Who will I have wanted myself to have been during it when I'm removed from it? And I know that's kind of a weird way to look at it. But it was so helpful to think about my identity and what the most beautiful and true story could be for my business through this. And what I discovered and the story that I rewrote in my head was amazing.
[00:15:03] And I'm absolutely going to share that with you in the next episode because it means I'm going to be making a massive pivot in my business. But before I get to that.
[00:15:14] here's what I want you to do right now. If you're feeling that fear and anxiety, if you're stressed about your own personal situation, and especially if you are hearing a story in your mind or you've started believing a story in your mind that isn't what you really want to see happen, that's more fear-based than it is based in hope, then I encourage you to take some time to move your body.
[00:15:43] Drink some water, find stillness, and I know that can be really hard for me. I really great way to find stillness was to sit on a cliff and let myself feel the anxiety, like actually try and make it worse. I know that sounds funny, but when I actually sit down and I just let myself be still and I feel in my body, wherever I'm feeling, the fear.
[00:16:08] And I give myself permission to go into that feeling and feel it, which I don't like to do. I like to stay in my head and not feel things, and I notice how my physical body responds. It actually lessens and goes away. I know that's super weird and super un-intuitive, but I literally say, okay, now is the time for me to feel the fear.
[00:16:29] Let me focus all my efforts on that feeling of fear and try and make it stronger. And inevitably when I try and feel it more, it just goes away. Like I don't even know how to explain it. It's just the most magical thing ever. But the physical feelings, I can't make them worse. , it lessens them. And now maybe that won't work for you, but it is the most amazing thing I learned from this wonderful lady named Lorraine.
[00:16:53]never fails. I go into the anxiety and say, okay, my chest is tight. It feels like a weight. Let me make it more heavy. Can I make that feeling even more? And something about letting myself feel it and just embrace it, makes the physical aspects of that start to melt away. And I know that sounds super woo, but it's just something that I've found works really well for me.
[00:17:14] That might work for you. And then I can really breathe through a lot of that. And. Like, except more of that piece in stillness. So if you can find the stillness and do that, move your body, get out of your head into your body, and then think about, these stories that you have in your head, are they serving you or are they hurting you?
[00:17:32] Is that really what you want for a reality? How does it serve you? What are some of the lies you're hearing, and what's the most beautiful and true story you can imagine about your life and your business during this time, one year from now, when you look back at how you handled this time. What do you want that story to look like?
[00:17:52] What do you want to say? What do you want to have done? write it down and then read that every single day so that you can move forward through this time as your very best. And sometimes when we just think about it a little creatively and out of the box like that, it helps make everything a little bit better.
[00:18:13]. now, I am not a counselor and I am not a professional, therapist or anything. So take all of this with a grain of salt.
[00:18:21] If it works for you, great. If it doesn't and you need real help, don't be ashamed or afraid to get it, but know that you're not alone. Know that we will all move past this that. We can do this and that. There is definitely hope to be found. Maybe for you, you'll find out that you want to make some massive pivot like I do.
[00:18:44] I don't necessarily want to make it, but I definitely feel drawn to make it and I feel this compulsion in a really great healthy way to make this. Or maybe you'll find that you need to just go deep into what you're doing now, or maybe you need to rest and allow this to just play out. I don't know your story or your situation.
[00:19:03] But I just want you to know that you're not alone. You can do this and that. I believe that one year from now you can come through this and look back and be proud of how you handled it. That's what I want for you. So, Hope you found this helpful. I will tell you more about what is happening in the next episode for definitely.
[00:19:22] Check that out. I'm going to be podcasting a lot because I want a podcast this whole journey, and I don't know about you, but when I'm super stressed and there's craziness going on in the world and I'm backed into a corner, that's when I do my best work, and that's when I learn the most, and I feel like I'm learning several amazing new things.
[00:19:42] Yeah. Every day, like almost every hour. It's crazy. I don't even know how personal growth can happen so fast, but I want to be sharing that with you as I go. So if you haven't yet, please subscribe. If you're finding this really helpful, there's two big things that you could do that would mean a lot to me.
[00:20:00] Number one. Leave a review on whatever platform you are listening to this too. So if you're on iTunes, leave an iTunes review or Stitcher, wherever, that would mean a lot. I'd love to hear that this is helpful for you because it's definitely taking time out of my, you know, day that when I could be doing other things to try and grow my business, but I just feel so compelled to help even one person, like if it just helped one person saved their business or overcome the fear.
[00:20:28] All of this time and effort would be worth it. And I believe that this is my time to step up and grow. So if you could help me do that by leaving a review to encourage me to let me know what you think, but also if you could spread the word to anyone else, you know who might be really struggling through this time, who's a small business owner.
[00:20:44] I would appreciate that so much. you can either take a screenshot and send it to them in Instagram, however you communicate with them, you know, maybe you're on Voxer or Marco polo or , Facebook messenger, Instagram, whatever it is. If you just have one or two people or better a group of people that you know would find this helpful.
[00:21:03] Spreading the word is one of the best ways that you can thank me for putting this content out if you find it helpful. So. Please spread the word, tell everyone you know who would be a good fit for this and leave a review. That would be amazing and I will catch you in the next episode and I will share with you the big pivot that I'm going to be making as soon as I can possibly make it in the next episode.
[00:21:25] See you there.

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