How to politely tell leads they are not leading right?

Follower was nervous to dance with a particular lead, due to him almost hurting her during a pattern.  She also complained about the lead squeezing her hand too tight.

 

Pain or danger of getting hurt warrants clear communication. Point it out in a direct manner and if you can, right after it happens- sometimes an "ouch" will suffice with the hand squeezing.

Don't be shy about it! There is no need to be nervous about protecting your physical integrity.

 

During lessons you should and are expected to provide feedback to the leads. It’s a fundamental part of their learning process.

Now, I want to make a distinction between differences in opinion and comfort. If it’s painful then he should listen to you, period. There’s no argument. You should never be feeling pain. If you are, your lead is doing something wrong - even when you as a follow do so something wrong it’s the lead’s responsibility to prevent you harm, always

On the topic of hand squeezing, this is something I am dealing with as an experienced lead with beginner follows. I guess this is just an issue with beginners. You can say something like “Hi, when you lead, you squeeze my hand and it makes me uncomfortable and it hurts. Can you please not do that again?”

Be direct. Your safety in dancing, especially as a follow since you’re have less control, is greater than the lead’s feelings. If they can’t accept it, don’t dance with them, or tell your instructor. Or if being direct is too much for you, tell the teacher and have them handle it for you.

 

I will say as a leader I WANT feedback about my dancing.  So please do not withhold your opinion. Unless it’s negative, don’t tell me that. Tell me how good I was and how amazing of a time you had J

 

 

 

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