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How to Properly Confront Others as a Leader | Sean Speaks
When you're a leader, you know that there are times you have to confront a colleague, maybe a higher up, maybe someone who is working for you. You have to tell them what you expect. You have to tell them of maybe certain behavior that shouldn't have been done, certain work was done in such a way that damages the company's reputation, or certain work was not done.
And you have to communicate with this person and how that is not going to happen again, on how to improve things, on what you can expect from them moving on. So there are a lot of ways to confront it. But let's talk about things that you should never do first when you confront a colleague or a coworker.
Number one, never, ever abdicate the responsibility. What does this mean? It means that you imagined the problem is just going to go away without doing anything, without even confronting the person. You just tell the person you know, that's just wrong. Don't do that again. That's not going to solve the problem.
Second way not to confront is you confront emotions high. So if the mistake is fresh, if your emotions are still stirred, do not go to the person, because chances are you're going to say things out of anger. When you see things out of anger, things always sound at least 8 to 10 times worse than they should. And when things sound worse than they should, the receiving party will close their hearts and minds towards you.
Third, the wrong way on how not to confront others is you're too relationally concerned, meaning you're more concerned about your relationship with the person, whether it's personal or it's work. You don't want to damage the relationship. You don't want to put even a small, tiny dent on the relationship.
Fourth mistake in confrontation. When you go blunt. So you're not angry, emotions are not high, tensions are not high, but maybe you don't like this person too much. Maybe you don't have a deep relationship with this person. And then you go to that meeting, you sit down and you go straight to the point, and you do it without any tact or swab. You're like, this is what you did. I don't like it. You got to improve, right?
What is the best way to confront other people? The best way is first and foremost, you schedule the meeting. Tell the person, "Hey, I want to have a one on one conversation with you."
Maybe you can open up the meeting with a one on one meeting with the three W's. What are your wins for this week? And then they proceed to share that with you. Secondly, what are things that you're worried about? And then lastly, what are things that you're wondering about that we can do that we can improve?
And lastly, when you close the meeting, make sure you're so clear in your expectations. You tell them that, "Okay, so from here on out can I expect that this is going to be the result? Can I expect that you will always follow this certain procedure in order to be able to achieve this result? Can I expect that you're going to be learning from this and evaluating the mistake, and that you're going to be teaching others what you learned also, so that they will be able to avoid that mistake?
Be very clear on what you expect from them. If you're not clear, you might as well throw that entire confrontation out the window. And confronting others is always uncomfortable on both ends- on the one being confronted and from the confronting party. Make every confrontation count. Be crystal clear on your expectations before you end the meeting.
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Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/leadershipstack
Join our community and ask questions here: from.sean.si/discord
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/leadershipstack
Youtube: leadme.ph/youtube
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@leadershipstack
Leadership Stack Merch: https://leadershipstack.com/shop/
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By Sean Si
5
99 ratings
When you're a leader, you know that there are times you have to confront a colleague, maybe a higher up, maybe someone who is working for you. You have to tell them what you expect. You have to tell them of maybe certain behavior that shouldn't have been done, certain work was done in such a way that damages the company's reputation, or certain work was not done.
And you have to communicate with this person and how that is not going to happen again, on how to improve things, on what you can expect from them moving on. So there are a lot of ways to confront it. But let's talk about things that you should never do first when you confront a colleague or a coworker.
Number one, never, ever abdicate the responsibility. What does this mean? It means that you imagined the problem is just going to go away without doing anything, without even confronting the person. You just tell the person you know, that's just wrong. Don't do that again. That's not going to solve the problem.
Second way not to confront is you confront emotions high. So if the mistake is fresh, if your emotions are still stirred, do not go to the person, because chances are you're going to say things out of anger. When you see things out of anger, things always sound at least 8 to 10 times worse than they should. And when things sound worse than they should, the receiving party will close their hearts and minds towards you.
Third, the wrong way on how not to confront others is you're too relationally concerned, meaning you're more concerned about your relationship with the person, whether it's personal or it's work. You don't want to damage the relationship. You don't want to put even a small, tiny dent on the relationship.
Fourth mistake in confrontation. When you go blunt. So you're not angry, emotions are not high, tensions are not high, but maybe you don't like this person too much. Maybe you don't have a deep relationship with this person. And then you go to that meeting, you sit down and you go straight to the point, and you do it without any tact or swab. You're like, this is what you did. I don't like it. You got to improve, right?
What is the best way to confront other people? The best way is first and foremost, you schedule the meeting. Tell the person, "Hey, I want to have a one on one conversation with you."
Maybe you can open up the meeting with a one on one meeting with the three W's. What are your wins for this week? And then they proceed to share that with you. Secondly, what are things that you're worried about? And then lastly, what are things that you're wondering about that we can do that we can improve?
And lastly, when you close the meeting, make sure you're so clear in your expectations. You tell them that, "Okay, so from here on out can I expect that this is going to be the result? Can I expect that you will always follow this certain procedure in order to be able to achieve this result? Can I expect that you're going to be learning from this and evaluating the mistake, and that you're going to be teaching others what you learned also, so that they will be able to avoid that mistake?
Be very clear on what you expect from them. If you're not clear, you might as well throw that entire confrontation out the window. And confronting others is always uncomfortable on both ends- on the one being confronted and from the confronting party. Make every confrontation count. Be crystal clear on your expectations before you end the meeting.
---
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/leadershipstack
Join our community and ask questions here: from.sean.si/discord
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/leadershipstack
Youtube: leadme.ph/youtube
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@leadershipstack
Leadership Stack Merch: https://leadershipstack.com/shop/