You have been single for years. You tell yourself you are happy. You tell yourself you do not need anyone. You tell yourself relationships are a trap. You are lying. You are not happy. You are not free. You are afraid. And your fear has become a lifestyle.

Staying permanently single requires a specific set of behaviors. First, convince yourself that every potential partner has a fatal flaw. Ignore your own flaws. Second, compare every date to an imaginary ideal. The ideal does not exist. Third, prioritize your career, your hobbies, and your friends over any potential relationship. The relationship will never materialize. Fourth, swipe left on dating apps until your thumb hurts. The algorithm will learn your preferences. Your preferences will become more restrictive. You will run out of options.

This episode is not a celebration of single life. It is a warning. Being single is fine if it is a choice. Being single is a tragedy if it is a default. If you want to stay permanently single, keep doing what you are doing. If you want something different, you will have to do something different.

Turn down the lights, put on your headphones, and press play because staying permanently single is easy. Finding love is hard. And most people choose easy.