Linux dreaded turning 30 this month…like a lot. It didn’t help that the 13 year old girl trapped inside of her was judge-y as hell. The Hut-Girl/Adventure Girl cusp unpacks how her 30th birthday spiraled from solo surf enlightenment to cartel-adjacent chaos, missed flights, and Motel Hell. Between Tulum delusion, surprise-party resentment, and maxed-out friends, she realizes she was the problem: full Birthdayzilla. She breaks down why we weaponize our birthdays, how striving for perfection ruins real moments, and the new rules for not being insufferable. For anyone who’s ever made their birthday everyone else’s punishment.

PUMP DESK FORM: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe3GVaRrlP8hgKINJIcs6PIQWlZ7MtYIa_Sut8J2GrC_-UHaA/viewform?usp=header