How to Stop Fighting And Start Talking (and Healing) | Stan Tatkin

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Conflicts are inevitable in long-term relationships. But often we argue in ways that push our partners away instead of resolving issues.

Dr. Stan Tatkin, a marriage and family therapist who has spent decades working with couples and training practitioners to improve communication in relationships believes there is a better way for partners to weather conflicts and emerge closer. His new book, In Each Other’s Care: A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them offers strategies grounded in neurobiology and years of clinical experience.

When disagreements arise, primal instincts trigger 'fight or flight', making us defend ourselves instead of understanding each other. But with awareness and new strategies, partners can shift this dynamic. As Stan says, we can learn to "work problems, not each other", regulate emotions, consider interests equally, and prioritize the relationship.

We'll discuss Dr. Tatkin's approach for navigating conflicts productively. His insights may save your next argument and reveal how you can grow closer through challenges together.

You can find Stan at: Website | Instagram

If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Julie and John Gottman about deepening long-term relationships.

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