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In this solo episode of The Reclamation Room, I’m diving into one of the most misunderstood (and honestly, probably triggering) parts of healing and relationships: the fine line between setting a boundary, being a doormat, and unconsciously trying to manipulate the other person.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I holding a boundary or am I being abusive, too?” this one’s for you.
We’ll explore how self-accountability isn’t about shaming yourself, but about developing the awareness that leads to real discernment: something many of us didn’t learn if we grew up around chaos, narcissism, or emotional immaturity.
Here’s what we get into:
✨ Why awareness must come before healthy boundaries
✨ The sneaky ways we can manipulate situations (even when our intentions are good)
✨ How self-compassion helps you face your “unregulated” or “unpolished” parts
✨ What real discernment might look like when you’re learning to trust yourself again
✨ The difference between setting a boundary to protect peace vs. control to receive connection
✨ How to protect your needs without losing your dignity, patience, or softness
This episode might make you a little uncomfortable.. and that’s the point. Growth comes outside of the comfort zone, right?
When we start getting curious about why we do what we do, but with self-compassion rather than judgment, that’s when transformation happens.
If you’re ready to get radically self-honest, deepen your self-awareness, and learn how to hold space for both your needs and your humanity, this conversation will meet you right where you are.
💛 Join my free weekly women’s call on Tuesdays to explore these topics in community, and get a feel for how I coach in real time.
And if this episode resonates, please hit subscribe or leave a quick rating! It helps The Reclamation Room reach more women who are reclaiming their truth, one boundary at a time.
💜 Support the MovementIf this podcast and my work with Break the Silence Alabama speaks to you, I’d love your support. We’re currently running a Kickstarter campaign to help bring survivor stories to national television: raising awareness, inspiring healing, and creating real change around domestic violence recovery.
You can learn more and contribute here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ashana/bring-real-survivor-stories-to-national-tv
Every share, pledge, and word of encouragement helps amplify this mission. Thank you for being part of this movement to break the silence. 💜
By Ashana KaiulaniIn this solo episode of The Reclamation Room, I’m diving into one of the most misunderstood (and honestly, probably triggering) parts of healing and relationships: the fine line between setting a boundary, being a doormat, and unconsciously trying to manipulate the other person.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I holding a boundary or am I being abusive, too?” this one’s for you.
We’ll explore how self-accountability isn’t about shaming yourself, but about developing the awareness that leads to real discernment: something many of us didn’t learn if we grew up around chaos, narcissism, or emotional immaturity.
Here’s what we get into:
✨ Why awareness must come before healthy boundaries
✨ The sneaky ways we can manipulate situations (even when our intentions are good)
✨ How self-compassion helps you face your “unregulated” or “unpolished” parts
✨ What real discernment might look like when you’re learning to trust yourself again
✨ The difference between setting a boundary to protect peace vs. control to receive connection
✨ How to protect your needs without losing your dignity, patience, or softness
This episode might make you a little uncomfortable.. and that’s the point. Growth comes outside of the comfort zone, right?
When we start getting curious about why we do what we do, but with self-compassion rather than judgment, that’s when transformation happens.
If you’re ready to get radically self-honest, deepen your self-awareness, and learn how to hold space for both your needs and your humanity, this conversation will meet you right where you are.
💛 Join my free weekly women’s call on Tuesdays to explore these topics in community, and get a feel for how I coach in real time.
And if this episode resonates, please hit subscribe or leave a quick rating! It helps The Reclamation Room reach more women who are reclaiming their truth, one boundary at a time.
💜 Support the MovementIf this podcast and my work with Break the Silence Alabama speaks to you, I’d love your support. We’re currently running a Kickstarter campaign to help bring survivor stories to national television: raising awareness, inspiring healing, and creating real change around domestic violence recovery.
You can learn more and contribute here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ashana/bring-real-survivor-stories-to-national-tv
Every share, pledge, and word of encouragement helps amplify this mission. Thank you for being part of this movement to break the silence. 💜