How to Support Your Retired Parents Without Sinking Your Own Retirement Plans by Martha C. White Denise Clark was at her wits’ end. Her elderly mother, who had already drained a modest 401(k) and tapped the family home for a home equity line of credit, wanted Clark and two siblings to subsidize her living expenses. Items included non-essentials such as a brand-new car loan and generous birthday gifts for extended family members, to the tune of hundreds of dollars — each.