You have to prioritize because not everything that everyone requests of you, not every meeting or not, every dinner or not, every insert x, y or Z here should be a yes for you. You have to know what to say yes to and what to say no to and what's important to you and make time for that. Hey, ladies, welcome back for another episode of the Ashlee Jaine show. I am your host and guide Ashlee Jaine sharing advice and actionable tips to help you glow up and show up as the very best version of yourself in today's episode, which I'm sure you already know because I know you saw the title before you click to play, but we are going to be talking all about how to take control of your life, and there is so much satisfaction in having control over your life and having your shit together. Like I promised ladies, if you feel like your life is out of control right now, like you feel so off balance, so off kilter. This episode is going to be so valuable to you. And it's funny because like in one of my most recent episodes where I'm talking about inspired action, I talk about letting go of control a little bit. But those are two different areas of life that we're discussing so inspired actions totally separate from what we going to be talking about today. So don't think that I'm contradicting myself here. I want to be clear that there are certain aspects of your life where you most definitely should be in control.

And then there are certain aspects of your life where you should relinquish the reins. Just a little bit, ladies. All right. So with that said, have you ever felt like you have zero control over your life or over your finances or over your time or your relationships like life is just happening all around you and you cannot figure out how to make it happen for you or work with you? Ok, if you said yes to any of those things, you are going to love this episode because we are going to shake some things up and we are talking about specifically how you can regain control or maybe just gain control. Maybe you never even really felt like you had control, but how you can regain control of whatever aspect in your life you feel like is currently out of control. Now let me just be fully transparent and disclose that I am somewhat of a control freak. I love having tabs on things in my life. I find security and being in control of various aspects of my life. But like I mentioned in my inspired action episode, there are certain aspects of your life where you don't necessarily need to control the situation or the timeline. The topics that I'm talking about here today are so important to be I don't even want to say in control, but to be on top of, I don't know.

I don't know if that's any better. It's basically saying the same thing. But these are so important because in order to get anywhere in life and to reach your potential and to make an impact and to be what you want to be in this lifetime, these areas of your life, you absolutely need to have your hand on the wheel. Ok. Ooh, I like that analogy. Hand on the wheel instead of in control. Let's put our hands on the wheels, ladies. So the number one tip that I can give you for regaining control of your life all comes down to being proactive rather than reactive in every single topic that we're going to talk about today. That's the foundation that is the key. Now, each and every single topic has, you know, kind of a different way or a different approach to go about being proactive. And I'm going to throw out like some real life examples and some analogies and things like that, because we all know that I love to share real life examples, but it all comes down to being proactive. Ok, so first up, let's talk about relationships. When you feel that things are off kilter, you're out of control. Hold on. Let me back up. I don't mean you're out of control of your partner or they're controlling you because that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the relationship itself, not one individual controlling the other or controlling a circumstance. So just to be clear, I'm talking about being in control of your relationship itself and having your hands on the wheel like we discussed in your relationship.

So maybe there's a disconnect, or maybe you haven't really been seeing eye to eye lately with your husband or your boyfriend or your partner. And the best thing that you can do to regain control and to regain traction and to get on a positive and productive path in that relationship is to be proactive. You need to get ahead of the issue. You need to communicate. You need to ask questions. If you don't know what the actual issue or what the actual cause of frustration is, you need to be a problem solver and figure out how to find out what it is. You have to find out where the disconnect is and you need to be a problem solver and think outside of the box on how you can fix it. And then when you know the issue, when you know what's really wrong and when you know the root cause of whatever turmoil you're experiencing, you have to plan accordingly. And this is where it comes. Being proactive really comes in handy. You can't be reactive back to these things. Like maybe you know that there is like a trust issue in your relationship. But rather than being proactive and expressing that, you don't trust your partner in certain situations or scenarios or with certain people or whatever. And instead of you communicating that and being proactive, maybe you just wait until that situation or that circumstance happens, or he's around those people and you just blow up and you go ballistic.

That's being reactive. You have to be proactive, you have to plan accordingly if you want to have a thriving and successful relationship. And this isn't even just like in your marriage or your partnerships. This is with family members, too. This is what people who are closest to you. This is what your friends. You have to be proactive and you have to do your part to have your hand on the wheel and to be able to clearly and effectively navigate these tricky situations that we often find ourself in when it comes to relationships. Ok, so maybe if you want to be proactive in trying to repair a relationship or you and your husband have been fighting a lot or whatever is going on, maybe being proactive to you and planning things out looks like planning out your date nights or scheduling your therapy sessions or even dedicating time to work on yourself for your partner. Maybe there's like fundamental issues with each other, and I don't ever want to encourage people to feel like they have to change for someone. But at the same time, actually, you should go back and listen to my ben. Don't break podcasts because I talk about how you really have to. There always has to be give give in a relationship, so figure out how you can bend and how you can work together and how you can meet in the middle.

And that does include changing certain things about yourself or, you know, trying to help be the person that your partner needs you to be in certain situations. So please don't take that the wrong way. I don't think that anybody ever needs to quote unquote change for their partner. But yeah, you either grow together, you grow apart in a relationship. So there has to be some changing, hopefully on both accounts for a successful relationship to work, but anyways sidetracked. Ok, let's switch gears to your career. If you feel like you're stuck in a job that you hate or you're working with people that you don't really enjoy working with. That is your career and your work environment taking control of you. Now, I completely understand not everybody has the flexibility or the opportunity to just up and quit a job. I am a realist. I fully understand that there are certain situations and circumstances at play and bills that need to be paid and things like that. But with all of that said, that doesn't mean that you are completely powerless in the matter. So there are most certainly things that you can do that are within your control that you can start working on or working towards or changing to help you put yourself in a better career situation. So depending on what you know, the overall outcome that you're wanting to achieve and taking control of your career will depend on the actions that you take to be proactive.

But just, you know, here I am throwing out real world examples. Let's say that you are wanting some sort of raise or promotion, and that's your end goal to change your situation or your your work life. So maybe ask yourself, do you need some more education or some more training to achieve or to qualify for that promotion or that raise that you can start working on now? That would be proactive. Or maybe you're wanting to, you know, do some sort of unilateral department transfer to get away from your toxic colleagues. So maybe something you can do to be proactive for that would be to start talking with people in other departments in your company and see what positions are open or maybe coming available. Maybe somebody is planning on retiring or maybe even talk to, you know, those individuals and see if there's potential for a position to be added in that department in the future as well. So another example of being productive or maybe you want to. Quit your nine to five completely because you cannot stand being somebody's employee and you want to focus on building your own business. There are always things that you can do to be proactive. For this, you can start saving extra money, set it aside to invest in your business or to put it into savings so that you have a few months worth of bills saved up so that you have that cushion for when the time comes that you do, or you are able to quit your day job and really like, I just want to hone in on the fact that there is no such thing as a glass ceiling when it comes to being proactive and when it comes to a motivated woman.

So lots of different things that you can do, it just takes thinking outside of the box and asking yourself really hard questions on how you can change or what is in your control to change a certain situation around you. All right. These last two, this is going to be a touchy subject for some of you, I'm sure, because there are a lot of people out there who like to tell themselves that time and money are the most complex aspects of their life to have control over, and they just feel so out of control in both regards. And it's actually quite the opposite, and it's very simple to have control over these things, but it all comes down to being proactive rather than reactive, like I've said. And honestly, if this is you and you can relate to this, I don't blame you because these things are not taught. These things should be taught as core curriculum in school. Financial literacy at the very basic at the very minimum should be an entire semester's worth of education. But it's not because we live in a society where a lot of people benefit off of us not having a good, solid financial foundation.

But anyways, I digress. Ok, so I don't have the time. Quote unquote, is probably one of the most common excuses that we hear for anything in life, anything. But it's really not true. Not having the time just comes down to one of two things either not wanting to or not being proactive with scheduling and time commitments. Or, I guess, even. Well, yeah, prioritization really just falls under not wanting to. I would say. But there are always things that we can cut out of our schedules to make times for, especially if those things are important to us. And again, being proactive and planning ahead, scheduling your days out. I always recommend scheduling your week out and then going through every night or at the beginning of every day and scheduling your day out so you have clear direction, you have full control over your schedule. Don't let things sneak up on you, and it really just is a way to give you like clarity with the time that you have and, you know, direction on as to maybe you have appointments all over the place, or maybe you have a time block here where you can incorporate some self-care, whatever it looks like, just gives you control and knowledge over your schedule. So like I said, don't let things sneak up on you. Make sure you are planning ahead. Don't let things pop up and have to be squeezed into your already busy schedule to make it work.

Make sure you are planning out your schedule and don't overcommit yourself. And of course, time blocking one of my favorite things to do ever because it helps so much with productivity. But time blocking and other practices can really just help you put your hands back on the wheel of your schedule. And of course, I did mention prioritizing, but you have to prioritize because not everything that everyone requests of you, not every meeting or not, every dinner or not, every insert x, y or Z here should be a yes for you. You have to know what to say yes to and what to say no to and what's important to you and make time for that. If you say you don't have time because, you know, maybe it is something really important, but you have your schedule filled with all of these other things that aren't that important to you. You do have time, you're just not prioritizing. So a good example of that would be like, don't let TV time get in the way of you achieving your goals or of you doing something that really matters to you. You spending time with your children or your husband or whatever may be. So prioritization is key as well. All right. And lastly, money is probably one of my favorite topics that I literally never talk about. And I thought that I was going to incorporate some sort of personal finance aspect to this podcast, but honestly, it is such a liability.

And I just don't believe that there's like a one size fits all when it comes to financial literacy and money management and wealth building. I can't buy into that concept because we are all very different and have very different financial situations, and so it's really hard for me to just say, Do this, try this. This works when, in reality, there's so many different avenues that you can take. But I would encourage you to do what you can to educate. Hate yourself on money management and wealth building, and there are so many resources out there, not me, but so many other resources out there that you can take and whether your goal is to pay off debt or your goal is to build a fifty thousand dollars savings account or your goal is to, you know, start working on your retirement or you want to start investing. All of the information and education that you could possibly want or need is out there already. All you have to do is go and seek it out. Ok, but anyways, getting back on the subject of money and regaining your control over your finances, you have to be proactive in order to have a solid financial foundation. You have to be proactive when you have budgeted and you know exactly what is coming in and what is going out, you are able to plan and pivot accordingly. You can take a second job if you need to to help cover the bills, or maybe your goal is to pay off debt.

You can give that second job income and put it towards paying off your credit cards or your student loans, or whatever it may be. You can cut out bills that aren't necessarily like different streaming services, or I know we all have those random monthly subscriptions that we signed up for that we either didn't realize we signed up for. We forgot we signed up for whatever it may be, you can cut that out. You can eliminate that because it's not necessary. And if you are truly sincere about wanting to get control of your finances rather than maybe living paycheck to paycheck, then these are the necessary steps to be proactive to get a full blown look at what your financial situation looks like, and then to take the steps and plan and do the things necessary to get yourself where you want to be financially. You also have to set goals. So money is so interesting to me because it's just like anything. If you don't give it a sense of direction, it will just come and go so easily and you will never realize where the money actually all goes. And I'm saying all of this now, like me and my husband, both. We were not in a good financial situation up until a few years ago and because neither one of us were really good with money. And I think we're both a little bit more spenders than we are savers.

So at the end of the month, we would look at ourselves and we would say, where did all of our money go? And we would have to go back through our statements and we would have to see like, Oh, well, that's the reason why we weren't able to put, you know, the extra, however much we wanted to put in savings or what have you, because we weren't giving our money a sense of direction. So when you set goals and you give your money a sense of direction, you are a being proactive. But also you're telling your money what to do and how to work for you so you can set up automated transactions through your bank account. Most bank accounts will let you automatically transfer from checking to savings with every paycheck or at a certain date. Or maybe if you're like me and you're focused on retirement, you can transfer, you know, so much per month to your retirement accounts or, you know, whatever that looks like for you. Just figure out what steps you need to take to be proactive, to regain control of your finances so that you can start checking off those financial goals that you've set for yourself and build up a solid savings and just really put yourself in a better financial situation so that when your kids ask to do something you don't have to say, we don't have the money which you should never, ever do.

By the way, it's actually let me go back and look at this book because this book was life changing for me. It talks about your financial blueprint and basically how our financial beliefs are instilled in us by learned behavior from our parents and things like that. So hang on, let me go. I have to go find it. Inaudible. I read it quite frequently. All right, searching it up right now. Let's see. Oh. Ok, I cannot find the title of it here. Am I audible? So now I feel silly for saying something about like millionaire, mastermind or financial blueprint. I cannot remember. But anyways, if it comes to me, I'll put it in the show notes. But it is so incredibly empowering to realize that every financial belief that you have is stemmed from a learned behavior and can also be unlearned and change. So don't ever tell your kids that we don't have enough money. You can come up with something more creative than that or redirect them or throw out a different alternative that maybe isn't as pricey instead. But I can't even remember what we were talking about or how that even came up telling your kids that you can't afford it. Oh, living paycheck to paycheck, you shouldn't be living paycheck to paycheck and telling your kids that you can't afford to do the things that they want to do. And, you know, not having the solid savings that you need to when you retire.

And all of the things, all of the financial things. My overall message to you here is just to stop letting life happen to you. You have to make it happen for you. You have to regain control. You have to gain clarity and direction. You have to set goals and you have to work towards the things that you really want in life. You have to put your hands back on the wheel, both hands, not just one or both hands back on the wheel. I'm really loving that analogy that we're going with, by the way, because the reality is is that each day that we live is one less day that we get here on Earth, and it is your responsibility to make sure that you are making the most of the days that you have left. You have to make things better for yourself. You have to reach for the stars. You have to be a positive role model and you have to leave this world in a better place than what you found it. It all starts with you. Take control of your life, put your hands back on the wheels, take control of your mind. Be proactive and do the things that you need to do to get yourself where you want to go. That is a wrap for this episode, ladies. Thank you so much for listening, so much for tuning in and working on becoming the very best version of yourself. And I will catch you on the next episode.