How did Anna know what to do with her screaming baby? By trusting her motherly intuition – and with a little help from her Mamma!

Sleep? Who needs sleep?

Anna is a friend of mine whose baby, Charlotte, is just three months old. Even though Anna is a medical doctor, being a first-time mum is as much a shock to her as anyone else! Without the help of her mother, who lives quite close by, she would find it much more difficult to cope.

The first few nights’ home from hospital, Charlotte wouldn’t settle, so Anna and husband Charlie, pretty much held her for 48-hours straight. They were a wreck. Anna is having a break from work right now. But Charlie still needs to function in his job, and they realized they couldn’t continue with that system long-term.

“We tried to settle her in the bassinet in our room,” explains a weary Anna, “but she kept making little baby noises and waking us up!”

Since then they’ve tried many methods, systems and “latest fads”

Taking pieces from one style, and adding it to the next in their growing list of failures and successes, they finally reached a turning point a few weeks ago.

Anna’s mum suggested they let Charlotte sleep just outside their room. That meant she was nearby but not so close as to wake them with every little grizzle.

Three months, and many sleepless nights later they have a routine where Anna stays up most of the night, and gives Charlotte a final feed in the early dawn, when she then sleeps for the longest stretch. Anna’s mother comes around to relieve Charlie of the baby when he goes to work, and then she can let Anna sleep-in until mid-morning.

It is an interesting compromise, but it works for them. And that’s the main thing.

Anna struggled reading some of the books around. Some of her friends loved the methods, but one in particular she decided not to pass on to others. While some new mothers found the system offered a boon, unfortunately for her, she could hardly bear to subject her baby to the “horrors” suggested.

“I didn’t even want to take the book I was recommended to the Second-Hand Shop – in case someone else got hold of it!”

I Have every Sympathy for Anna

Being a mother for the first time is one of the most difficult transitions anyone can make. Contrary to what many people believe before they have a baby, you can’t organize them, plan your days with them, or MAKE them do anything! In the meantime, your own confidence in your ability takes a rapid dive south.

Instead of panicking, and adding to your stress levels, it’s necessary to slow down and stop trying to prove yourself. Opposite to what it feels like sometimes, it’s a time to be easy on yourself and to love your baby. You want to be a mother who treasures her baby, and to do that you must first treasure yourself. Trust your motherly intuition – you will know more about what to do than you realize if you take a step back and look at things a little more objectively.

Every first-time mother has a story, and every story is different. As Anna discovered, there is no one-size-fits-all solution that will be right for every family. And importantly, she learnt about trusting her mother’s intuition.

Daily quotations are available on Twitter by following @MothersJelwelbox

What to do? What to do!

Maybe these ideas will bring some peace to your soul as you treasure your squirmy little bundle.

Every baby is different – Part A

So, glean from other people, search the internet, and read books. Pray for intuition. But don’t expect every method will work for you. Just like different weight-loss programs will work better for some people than others, various baby regimes will work better for some babies and their families.

Every baby is different – Part B

The first child in your family is likely to be the most challenging as you make a myriad of first-time decisions. How to manage diverse issues will continue! Sleeps, feeds, bath-time, playgroup, friends, schools, music classes and driving lessons will be in