Whether you’re just starting your divorce journey or you’re already deep in it, we’re really glad you’re here. I’m Emile Flowers, your divorce mortgage planning specialist, and I’m joined by Melissa Gragg — financial mediator, divorce strategist, and honestly… the divorce queen.

Today we’re talking about position statements — and here’s the big shift: your position statement isn’t “just notes.” It’s the first draft of your settlement offer.

So in this episode, we’re breaking down how to take what you’ve already done — your timeline, your summary, your top three issues — and turn that into a clear, credible, documented offer that you can actually walk into mediation with. Because the goal is simple: stop negotiating in a fog and start negotiating with facts.

5 Key Takeaways

1. A position statement is the outline — the settlement offer is the full book.
    You start with story + priorities, then build one topic at a time into a detailed, usable offer.
2. Words alone create confusion — spreadsheets create clarity.
    A marital balance sheet helps compare apples to apples (house vs. retirement vs. after-tax values).
3. “Prove it up” with one-page summaries + supporting documents.
    Bring short summaries (value, rationale, sources) and attach key proof (CMA, appraisal, mortgage statement, quotes).
4. Anchor with your best-case offer first.
    Ask for your best-case scenario (sun, moon, stars) and let the other side react and counter—don’t wait for them to draft it.
5. Boundaries matter: don’t agree to anything you can’t live with.
    If you need more data, table it, set deadlines, and return to mediation with stronger proof instead of rushing.

5 Q&As from this episode

Q1: What is a position statement in divorce mediation?
 A: A position statement is a written summary of your divorce case—your history, key issues, and priorities—and it acts as the framework for your settlement offer in mediation.

Q2: How do I turn a divorce position statement into a settlement offer?
 A: Take each priority issue from the position statement and build it into a detailed offer using a marital balance sheet, clear asset values, and one-page summaries backed by documents.

Q3: What documents should I bring to divorce mediation for a house dispute?
 A: Bring a mortgage statement, CMA or appraisal, repair quotes, inspection summary, HOA info, and a one-page explanation of how you reached your proposed home value.

Q4: Why is a divorce settlement spreadsheet important?
 A: A spreadsheet prevents misunderstandings by listing every asset and debt, showing values clearly, and helping compare after-tax retirement funds against cash assets like the house.

Q5: How do I negotiate with a high-conflict or toxic spouse in mediation?
 A: Lead with a detailed written offer, rely on factual documentation instead of opinions, keep emotions neutral, and set firm deadlines for missing disclosures or unresolved items.

Watch the YouTube video here

Melissa's Website here

Emile's website here

The Divorce Allies website here