We talk a lot about what it means to be a good friend. But what happens when the support we’re giving doesn’t match what the other person actually needs?

In this episode of Shades of Strong, I’m joined by best friends Alyson Brown and Mia Brinson for a heartfelt, unfiltered conversation about support in Black female friendships. From the challenges of being the “strong one” in your circle to the quiet grief of friendship breakups, this is a layered conversation about what it really means to show up — and be shown up for.

Both Alyson and Mia took the Support Languages™ quiz and got Mindful Care — the language of intentional check-ins and nurturing presence. We explore how that plays out in real life, especially when friendships shift, stretch, or fall apart.

Whether you’ve ever felt unseen in your friendships, questioned if you’re giving too much, or struggled to receive the love you so easily give… this episode is for you.

In this episode, we talk about:

Why support can still miss the mark, even with good intentions

What Mindful Care looks like in real friendships

The grief and growth that come with friendship breakups

The role of communication, boundaries, and emotional capacity

Why knowing your friend’s Support Language matters more than you think

And what it looks like to be fully seen — and still fully loved

Connect with Alyson Brown and Mia Brinson

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Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.