The Happy Libertarian

How Your Attitude Toward Faith Affects Your Child


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[Week 8 of 52 Weeks to a Better Relationship With Your Child]
Faith versus superstition

What do you have faith in? Before you can answer that, you have to have an idea of what is meant by faith. True, words can mean different things to different people. However, a concept is a concept by any other name, to misquote Shakespeare.

The crux of the problem with agreeing about what faith is is that some people equate it with superstition while others say it is believing in something based on evidence. I am in the latter camp, so that is how I will use it in this discussion.

Consider how the word is used person to person. Let’s say you ask someone to deliver a large sum of money to make a payment for you. You would probably say you have faith in that person’s ability and intent to do as asked. Why would you have such faith? Only because you know him well enough to judge his character and skills.

Faith doesn’t always require completely understanding something, either. A classic example is the airplane. Most people have enough faith that it will fly even though they have very little understanding of how or why. They have observed that airplanes are fairly reliable about flying.

The first thing that comes to most peoples’ minds when faith is mentioned is beliefs about how the world came into existence and the meaning of life. There is a strong tendency to dismiss conclusions that we don’t agree with as superstition. What we need to find is a balance between our own confidence and respecting people who are also doing their own best to figure out life.

Discussing faith with our children

How does this all affect your relationship with your child? In two main ways:

  1. They need to feel free of ridicule as they explore what or who they will have faith in regarding the essence of life.
  2. They need you to be able to discuss what you have faith in and why.
  3. Children will naturally ask questions about life. If you respond to their childish perspectives with impatience or disdain, you will probably damage their trust in you. I watched a movie recently that portrayed the father as supposedly attempting to encourage his 11 year old son to explain a matter of faith. I think the movie showed a likely outcome of the father’s challenge to “explain that myth.” The boy shut down and walked away, both mad and humiliated.

    As children get older and ask more difficult questions, they need to know that you will respond with thoughtfulness and unconditional acceptance of them. A wise parent will realize that one discussion is not the final outcome. On top of that, the parent can likely learn things from both how the child sees things and by trying to answer the questions.

    Being an example of confident faith

    If you are able to discuss your own faith without being defensive

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    The Happy LibertarianBy Laura Blodgett